#hcdid

Update: Since you guys have actually been blowing this up, I decided if you guys can get this post to 1000, I'll deep clean my depression room. See new post for proof of teeth brushing and picture of depression room. Thank you guys so much for the help

Update 2: I actually ended up deep cleaning my depression room because I was very motivated one day, so feel free to leave suggestions for what I should do for 1000 notes

10 notes: I'll brush my teeth with toothpaste and floss

25 notes: take a shower

50 notes: Finish reading my book

100 notes: Process big trauma with our therapist (will happen on July 7th, 2025)

150 notes: eat three meals

200 notes: draw a full 2 page in my sketch book

250 notes: start and end chapter two in my memoir

300 notes: write and post a new poem

350 notes: make a doctor's appointment for my doctor to approve my top surgery and send it to my insurance

400: bleach and redye my hair (guys I really need to do this help)

500: fill out 20 profiles simply plural programmed alters

600: do my laundry

700: fill out 30 of our simply plural profiles of programmed alters

800: reorganize our simply plural groups

900: read the Oculus South Park Fanfic

1000: leave suggestions and I'll pick!!

Not done yet

In progress

No they aren't lmao.

Years of scientific research proves otherwise. Being a system is a disorder. You can't have the disorder without trauma.

You are seen if you have a big headcount

You are seen if you have a small headcount

You are seen if you switch often

You are seen if you rarely switch

You are seen if you deal with flashbacks often

You are seen if you don't deal with flashbacks often

You are seen if you can communicate with your alters

You are seen if you have a hard time communicating with your alters

You are seen if you struggle

You are seen if you dint struggle

You are still seen. You are still a system.

good, for surviving trauma. bad for knowing what your actual limits are in everyday life.

the average person will only experience intense adrenaline that overrides their usual limits in a rare life or death scenario.

but if your brain gets used to life or death scenarios… it gets extremely easy to just flick that switch and go into crisis mode, even when you don’t actually need to.

i’m constantly hitting the point where i’m exhausted or in pain and don’t want to continue, but it never becomes a case of can’t. i just hit survival mode and keep going.

(brought to you by 10 hours straight of driving yesterday, about five and half hours of sleep, and then another 5 hour round trip today to get a tattoo, with the last real meal i had being 8:30pm the night before (during the aforementioned 10 hour drive). i only processed that i was probably playing with fire on the way home from the tattoo, as i felt my brain refusing to shut off into full exhaustion, triggering pain signals in my fresh tattoo repeatedly to keep me awake. and i have work tomorrow.)

programmed migraines

programmed seizures

programmed arousal

flood programs

spin programs