#we speak

Please keep this in mind when talking to or about torture victims and survivors, not everyone has gone through the same things.

To those who doubt their own validity because they don't have scars: you're valid. You're allowed to call yourself a torture survivor and you have a place in the community. It's also common for survivors to doubt themselves, which is ok. You're not wrong for feeling that way.

I hope this cleared some things up and helped some of you. If I said anything incorrect or insensitive, please let me know.

- 💜

Edit: We want to clarify that we also intended to include those who have gone through physical torture (eg. flagellation, caning, whipping, electroshock), not only psychological torture (like we've mentioned above). Those who have less noticable scars (such as faded scars or broad scars, like burns) or other injuries or illnesses (broken bones, bruises, concussions, etc) are also valid.

Yes, I know it's not the end of the world. There are many other options I can use. However, having an app specifically designed for systems is alot better than having to use, like, Notion for example. And being told that you can use Octocon as an alternative, only for them to shut it down in the same month (or week? I'm kinda timeblind) is not cool.

To clarify: this is a vent post, I needed to let my anger and frustration out, I wouldn't talk like this if I was actually talking to the developers. I also don't support harassment towards anyone involved (obviously).

(Endos DNI)

When initially infected, the disease will incubate for a period varying from hours to days. Asymptomic in its first stages, the first symptoms to present themselves will be consistent with increased blood pressure. Mild headaches, shortness of breath, and nosebleeds may occur. While infection may occur through a variety of venues, the initial symptoms are largely determined by means of exposure – whether they be spore, infected wound, or merely exposure to the Instrument.

In its initial stages, the disease increases blood cell production significantly, causing blurred vision, dizziness, joint pain, increased shortness of breath, and stronger headaches. As it progresses, spontaneous bruising will begin to occur from burst blood vessels. The infected may feel burning or tingling in their extremities and excess bleeding or bruising, and will likely notice an itching sensation across their skin. Those infected by spores will develop a persistent cough, and will shed infectious particulate from irritated lung lining. Infected wounds will swell dramatically, and may reopen on their own, seeping infectious blood into fur and feathers, where it clots.

A sensation of abdominal fullness may become increasingly clear as this stage progresses. Despite this, however, the infected will still feel hungry, and may experience hunger that does not subside after eating even a portion that is “reasonably sized” for them. This is a measure to prevent those in the initial phases from starving, and thus decreasing the effectiveness of their Cursed bodies in the later stages. The extremities will often begin to purple with pooling blood. If the infected does not already have a fever, they will appear feverish by the time they reach this stage due to significantly increased bloodflow in the body. The heart will beat abnormally hard to compensate for this, resulting in a feeling of “blood pounding” in one’s ears. The infected become increasingly sensitive to sound as the infection progresses, often relying on it over other senses once it progresses enough as the infection inhibits their other senses.

The infected may feel “swollen”, and may develop a cough at this stage, even if not infected by spores. Skin will begin to flake in a manner similar to dandruff or certain forms of dermatitis. In this stage, the blood may begin to darken as the curse fully circulates throughout the body, and the infected may begin to bleed with very little physical trauma, or no trauma at all. Sores will remain open, with no apparent signs of healing save for clotting, which will be in abnormally thin, flaky layers. They may begin to exhibit symptoms of confusion, disorientation, and memory loss. If there are areas of infected flora in the area, they are likely to gravitate towards them. Infected flora may begin to grow on the bodies of infected fauna, providing a layer of “armor” over increasingly flimsy skin.

As the final stages approach, sores may spontaneously open on the afflicted’s body, staining their fur or feathers with darkened blood that flakes off into an organic “spore” that further spreads the disease. Salivary glands will dry up, as will most skin oils, and mucus membranes may rapidly dry in areas without ambient moisture. Skin may shed faster, but be much less well-attached to the body, the epidermis rapidly shedding and the dermis thinning dramatically. The membrane of the eyes will often thicken, forming a “skin” over the surface of the eye and severely inhibiting vision as the eyes cease to moisturize themselves. Appetite may increase as open sores decrease the amount of blood present in the system, releasing the pressure on the digestive tract without alleviating the induced hunger. Sound sensitivity may result in brief bursts of aggression in response to loud noises, though this will rapidly subside when removed from the stimuli.

The Beastilence, being a curse rather than a conventional disease, will often protect its hosts from other infections, keeping them fit for future fighting, and as such its victims will often seek out damp areas, attempting to soothe the discomfort of their perpetually flaky skin. Fatigue and listlessness will also often set in, and subjects will demonstrate an aversion to self-grooming and self-care rituals they may otherwise have engaged in, allowing symbiotic plants to grow unfettered and scabs to freely dry and flake.

The final onset of the Beastilence tends to be sudden, and often somewhat dramatic – while it can take weeks or months to fully set in, depending on the strength of the curse feeding it, it will always finalize itself in minutes. The symptoms of confusion and disorientation will worsen, often extremely rapidly if they were not already present in significant force, along with all other neurological symptoms – the headache, the dizziness, and the hunger. The infected may lose consciousness, or simply present a rapid cognitive deterioration, before beginning to respond with aggression. They will present an inability to recognize familiar people, places, and stimuli, and will rapidly become aggressive towards uninfected individuals they can sense.

Fully infected individuals will be drawn to each other, and to other sources of the plague, forming roving “packs” that can overtake large parcels of land and attacking at any stimulus that does not come from another infected. They may allow large patches of infected plants and fungus to grow over their skin, producing an armored “shell” to protect them from the outside world. Stimulus may reach them, but they will simply be incapable of recognizing it – the fog that claims their minds prevents them from connecting the things they sense with their former lives

If given enough time, a subject infected with the Beastilence can relearn how to navigate the world around them, but it simply will not register as the same – they are still people, and if they were somehow given a means to directly contrast the world as it was to the world as it is now, they could manually build the association of “this means this”, but the fog that claims the world will make it difficult to build associations that last, and understanding what correlates to what is likely to be a constant uphill battle – like if you were transported into an alien word, where “backwards” was suddenly “up”, and even the simplest objects were so strange as to be nearly recognizable. Even if someone were to, for example, show you that the thing you perceive as a long stalk of some sort of unknown, orange-tinted plant was, in fact, a pencil case, you would not necessarily understand the correlation between those two objects, nor how to interact with that object with your newfound insight, and you would not necessarily be able to identify any further objects now that you know what a pencil case looks like.

The Beastilence, despite its profound aggression in infecting new hosts, does not travel well in clean water, and basic water treatment can filter out spores that may otherwise cause infection – though it is always best to boil the water, just to be sure. Any form of cleansing ritual will also dramatically decrease the rates of transmission, and multiple forms of “anointment” or “protection” rituals prove extremely effective, regardless of scientific grounding. While direct and unaltered exposure to Beastilence will always result in infection, regardless of any ritual surrounding it, Beastilence matter that is mixed or cut with something else may have its transmission nullified.