this is a blog run by a programmed system, for programmed experiences. this includes systems, singlets, etc, as long as it's programmed.
programming can include ramcoa/oea, but we are referring specifically to itbc/tbmc.
FAQ:
Q: "how do i know if im programmed" / "is there a diagnosis checklist"
A: you can't know for 100% certainty, it would be nice if you could; but you just can't. There is no sure-fire way to tell if you're programmed other than looking into your system function & see if there's any intense conditioning— but that looks different for everyone ! And looking into that can be very unsafe !
Q: "does [x] count as programming" / "can i be programmed from [x]"
A: possibly. I dont know all the intricacies of your experiences, so i can't give a blanket answer ! Nor do i feel comfortable saying definitively what you have or haven't experienced.
Q: "im questioning programming, can i send an ask/interact ?"
A: yes.
< mod & blog info under the cut >
< intro >
this blog is run by a (programmed) side system in a programmed system. for our safety, we will not be specifying who we are .
please only refer to us as "♠️" using it/its pronouns & computer/robot based terms .
the blog goes on hiatus sometimes due to not being able to come here without triggering things internally . askbox will remain open usually , though .
< byi >
please properly tw triggering asks, don't censor the tw AT ALL. anon sign offs are completely welcome :> just let us know if it changes. please don't go into detail about trauma, programming triggers, system details, ANY OF THAT- even if you're on anon; i will not post it for your safety. also, typing quirks are fine, just provide translations before your ask please. i will tag asks mentioning having OSDDID, using we/us/our, & similar as "programmed system culture"; and asks not implying plurality as "programmed culture".
< dni >
T.R.A.S.H., under 14, transprogrammed/transramcoa, non programmed singlets & systems (you may interact- just dont send asks), if your blog centers around images of sh/ed/nsfw, kink blogs, people who think this is a conspiracy theory/people are faking, anti self dx.
THIN ICE (can still interact & send asks, we just might block you) — endos of all kinds
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this is an old post ik but i wanted to explain why so many people who experienced programming are polyfragmented systems
there is no required type of trauma to be diagnosed with C-DID/polyfragmented DID but there are things that make it more likely such as:
1. experiencing trauma from a young age (younger than required for DID to develop, like from infancy or toddlerhood)
2. having multiple abusers
3. having multiple “types” of trauma or experiencing multiple unrelated traumatic events (such as being abused at home and having a childhood illness or experiencing physical abuse form your parents and sexual abuse from a teacher)
4. experiencing things that are very complicated or confusing for a child
so while not all programmed systems develop C-DID, it is common just because things like having multiple abusers or experiencing multiple types of trauma are causes of polyfragmentation as well as common experiences for programmed systems.
common alpha programs (base programs/starting programs that create the structures for other programs) can cause systems to split. some programmed systems (like myself) are programmed to split extremely easily and/or are constantly splitting fragments. for us we split fragments all the time and if they aren’t used they’re absorbed by preexisting alters. we also have an internal handler that can force splits, so like if she doesn’t like how an alter is behaving she can split them into smaller aspects of their personality and rearrange them to be different.
splitting is common during trauma and stress, so when you go through something like torture and programming you will naturally split more than a system with less complex trauma.
complex DID also involves complex internal structures which are often programmed.
not all programmed systems will be polyfragmented. their programmers could have intentionally made them a small system (or just one without a lot of fragments or complex internal structure), their mind could have simply not decided it was necessary to keep the body safe, the system could have developed before the programming and maintained the original structure, the system could have been older, their programming could have been outside of the “typical” structure of programming and so they may have no gone through all of the risk factors i mentioned…there are infinite reasons why a programmed system would not be polyfragmented. most that i’ve met are but it’s in no way a given
Programmed culture is your parent who was involved in programming you, using the word programmed instead of conditioned, and then testing you on your response. And THEN not knowing if you were just being paranoid about the testing part or not.
(We weren't supposed to know, and theyre not supposed to know that we know. So it was extremely anxiety inducing /lh)
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Apologies for the lack of image descriptions / alt text on recent, & past, posts- it'd slipped my mind. i'm trying to fix it currently, but the tumblr mobile ui makes it difficult to tell, due to the small width of the image; if i miss any, let me know, please !
Programmed culture is having really oddly specific memories of the desert and heat and sandstorms, and also hating sand, but never having been there. Also, possibly unrelated, having vivid flashbacks and programs going off when you watch a specific Disney tv show (Aladdin 1994-1995)
So. Yk. Weird as hell but nothing to tie it in with everything else I experience.
TW specified, in depth sexual, psychological and physical torture, self-doubt, self-fakeclaiming etc
Programmed culture is knowing that what happened to you, in my case my most prevalent abuse was rape which is what I was mainly thinking about today, is one of the worst, most violating things a person can ho through. But in your head, the same trauma you went through, when applied to you and your experiences, is “really not that bad.”
I was thinking today, about what I went through. Like yeah, I was raped and assaulted every single day for way over two years, to this day I still get severe somatic flashbacks where it feels like he’s thrusting against my bruised cervix again (I have had a LOT of physical damage done to me, but god, the pain on a bruised cervix continuing to be abused is a feeling I truly have no words for. It’s excruciating, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced), because he did it so fucking often that it’s a near constant physical reminder of what happened. And that’s only the rape part of the story. And even this tiny fucking piece of it is enough for my brain to say “you’re too much, your trauma is too much, you’re exaggerating, nobody will believe you, you’re a fraud.”
This whole thing is so incredibly complex and my brain says that just the daily rape part of it was already “too much” and therefore fake and I’m a dramatic whiny bitch. I’m scared of the time I can finally accept *all* the parts of it, because if just this aspect of it is too much already, god knows what my reaction will be to everything else *on top of it.*
Programming culture is feeling immense fear at calling your abuse programming, RAMCOA or TBMC, because your experiences don’t fit the Hollywood image of torture (like war crimes, waterboarding, electric shocks) since you were tortured in a more domestic setting, and society hasn’t caught up to the fact that torture is very common and very much real torture outside of a strictly military/war setting.
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Hi? Sorry if this question sounds weird. I'm just kinda uninformed. Does the person performing TBMC on a victim need to know about DID? I thought the person torturing the victim doesn't necessarily need to know about DID and just focuses on getting responses
These questions are fine, we don't mind !
To put it simply; no, the abuser/handler doesn't need to know about DID or dissociative theory to program someone.
To go into a little more detail; programming doesn't need to result in DID to be programming. At the very core, it's just abuse to get the victim to do what they want. Abusing someone doesn't require any knowledge into disorders, or symptoms, or anything- it just requires to know how to hurt someone, which everyone knows how to do.
I hope this answers your question, sorry the response was late.
What are the symptoms of conditioning? People mention it but I'm not sure what to look for in myself
There aren't any. Programming looks different in every individual- it's a trauma response, not a specific criteria set. It's complex and nuanced and, unfortunately, there's no One Way to figure it out or not. You can look to see if there are any cues that you, or alters, reply to in a certain way; or if you relate to any other survivors' experiences; but again, there's no definitive way to tell or criteria to meet.
I also don't recommend searching into memories, since that can be very dangerous, programmed or not. /serious
I wish you luck anon, and i'm sorry this reply isn't of much help. Stay safe.
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