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Americans:

From Wikipedia: A graham cracker is a sweet flavored cracker made with graham flour.

The next ingredient (which is also extremely traditionally American but slightly more variable) is typically Hershey's chocolate, but you could probably swap this out in the UK with any plain chocolate bar.

Last ingredient is big marshmallows, the kind you do the chubby bunny challenge with, like the size of your thumb and twice as thick.

A proper s'more, the most traditional possible variety, involves to graham cracker squares, two slab segments of Hershey's chocolate, and one to two marshmallows depending on your preference for filling and gooeyness. You put a slab of chocolate on one of the graham cracker squares. Your marshmallows should be toasted, usually over a campfire but if you're doing them at home over a gas stove burner is fine, but the fire part is critical. You can toast them to whatever degree you like, some people like them nice and golden brown but still kind of firm in the middle, me personally? I want that bitch to CATCH ON FIRE, I want it gooey and sticky as hell in the middle, crispy and burnt on the outside. Slap that motherfucker on your graham cracker and chocolate square, top with the other one so your marshmallow and chocolate are sandwiched together by graham cracker on the outside. You do this with your freshly toasted marshmallow because ideally it will be hot enough to start to melt the chocolate so it sticks to the marshmallow and the graham cracker and, combined with the gooey marshmallow, it keeps the whole thing together, and for that reason some people will let them sit for a hot second to let the melting process happen (especially if like me you have chocolate on BOTH graham cracker squares, not just one, because you're a sugar fiend), but if you are a young child you do not have that degree of patience and you eat that shit immediately, unmelted chocolate and all. Consume your summer camp delight like a tiny club sandwich, get gooey sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over your hands, and enjoy.

The first is that you don't pull the marshmallow off the roasting stick and somehow put it on the chocolate. Your staging area will look something like this, with the graham crackers and chocolate already set out (though not usually on the fire like this, for us it was always someone's lap or a picnic table or something)

And when your marshmallow has reached appropriate roasting perfection, you use the graham crackers to slide it off the stick.

and ideally, as a CHILD you are using a literal stick. Like you walked around and spent time looking for The Perfect Stick off the ground while the adults set up the fire. It has to be thin enough the marshmallow will fit, sturdy enough that it won't bow, long enough that you won't burn yourself roasting your marshmallow. And preferably doesn't have a lot of bark that's sloughing off, OR so much bar sloughing off you can peel it all back and get to the clean stick under it. If you're smart, you might stick the tip into the fire first to "wash" it/burn off anything that was still lingering, but. well, most kids don't.

When you bite in, the marshmallow and chocolate SHOULD ooze out all over you. If you don't kinda look like this eating it, you've probably done it wrong:

Requirements: Masters Degree in Engineering (PhD Preferred), TEM, SAED, FUCKYOURSELF and EDX, Flexible work hours, Type O- blood, Five Years Experience

me: wow thanks! Like a mortar and pestle?

my mom: no it’s fancy, look

People in the notes: So you hate moms??? You’re ableist?? You think we should go back to the Dark Ages?? (My personal favorite because it makes no sense) you’re poor shaming??

Everyone knows who the iPad kids are

I've seen it all from kids who don't know how to use scissors, and can't perform the motions right compared to other kids in that age group, to kids who can't write the alphabet or spell their names (the older ones)

And one of the most startling thing I encountered was every now and then we have a country day, where we choose a country, color in the country's flag in the colors and watch a little film about said country.

And I was overseeing the coloring, and one boy just refusing to color

It happens, stubbornness, bad days, 'just don't wanna' s happen, but I sit with him and continue to try and encourage him and figure out why he doesn't want to

And he keeps saying he doesn't know how to color

And I'm like ??? Just pick up the pencil and put it on the paper buddy, cmon

So I'm showing him how, and he refuses to try over and over

So then I try like, coloring while guiding his hand, and again this is a flag were coloring it's a giant rectangle, not much precision is needed

And I realize while I'm helping him, literally moving his hand to color for him, he's CLEARLY never colored before. He's 4, there is no excuse for this when kids start coloring at like, 2 maybe younger.

By 4-5 kids can generally color inside the lines well enough and draw recognizable figures like people and landscapes and pets

Eventually he got into it, understood how to do it and requested to continue on by himself, which was great! I told him I was proud of him and we continued on with our day but it absolutely shocked me that these iPad kids are so beyond stunted like jesus

He didn't know how to grip a pencil, he didn't know the wrist movements and motions, he didn't understand the pressure control, he had no control over where or how he was coloring like, these kids NEED TO learn these things it's STARTLING how many kids don't have these milestones and are just not developing these fine motor skills

Ask any kindergarten attendant and they'll tell you the same thing-

The best thing you can do for a kid is buy them a shitton of construction paper, decorative child-safe scissors, and coloring books

Please please please kids need to cut paper up and color. It helps them develop so many fine motor skils

I was at an MVA call--car into a powerline. Three kids, 9, 5, and 2 years old, trapped in the back of a car, crushed against a pole, live lines on the car. Meaning they were fine as long as they stayed inside but we couldn't cut the car open until the power company came and killed the line.

It took about a half an hour. We were all losing our MINDS thinking about three kids who had just been in a significant car accident, unknown injuries, trapped in a car without their mom, and all these strange noises and people around them. We thought these kids would be terrified.

Nope. All three of them were on devices watching videos. Like they didn't even register what had happened or the danger they'd been in or why people were so worried, or even THAT we were worried.

The most distress I saw the kids in as we drove the 30 minutes to the peds hospital? Was when the 2 year old's device's battery died. She went from sitting unnaturally quietly staring at Cocomelon to SCREAMING and throwing things and biting anyone. She only calmed down when her older brother agreed to share his device with her.

It was spooky af, man.

Say it with me,

"lover"

You have taken a lover.

"date"

You have a date

You made a choice to see someone and keep making it.

Have some goddamn self respect.

get some water put it in a pot. add a little bit of bullion or use broth if you have it. (one jar of bullion lasts me like months you don’t need a lot) add to that whatever the hell you want. soy sauce. oyster sauce. black vinegar. sesame oil. hoisin sauce. garlic powder. onion powder. salt and pepper. want it spicy? add chili flakes or oil or smoked paprika. literally whatever you have floating around in the cabinet or fridge will do. don’t forget! add something sweet (sugar honey maple syrup etc) to balance out the salt.

let it get hot. add in some vegetables. again, literally anything. whatever you got. can be frozen stuff. onions. corn. peas. edamame. broccoli. carrots. green beans. mushrooms. literally whatever. put in something with protein. tofu. meat of some sort.

wait until it boils. add some noodles. any kind of noodles. cook until the noodles are soft.

top with whatever you want. and there you have it. soup.

One of my all time favs, relevant to both the subject and the request for something unhinged.

For real, though, check out Get Caught Reading: