sheppy shep

Back in '07, I worked a summer job with the state parks department near my hometown. I was part of the maintenance crew: mostly mowing grassy areas where the public would go, cleaning latrines, going on litter cleanup hikes, stuff like that. Occasionally we'd get a more intricate task, like removing a wasp nest from a branch directly above a trail or combing the sad little artificial beach.

We had a building off to one side of the park, surrounded by a fenced-in parking lot, with one of the few Dumpsters available in the park. When we emptied garbage cans around the park, we'd bring the trash bags to this particular Dumpster.

And the local raccoons were aware of this Dumpster, and of a hole in the chain-link fence around the parking lot. They knew how to climb up the outside of the Dumpster and lift the lid just enough to get inside, but if there wasn't enough trash in there, they couldn't climb back out.

So on certain mornings, I'd pull into the lot as I hastily finished off my McBagel or gas station breakfast burrito, go to toss the wrapper in the Dumpster, and hear panicked skittering from inside. And there was this bedraggled raccoon huddling in the far corner of the bin, looking up wide-eyed at me and radiating "pwease don't eat me" energy.

My boss, Phil, was already sick and tired of procyonid shenanigans and suggested we just leave it there until trash pickup day, at which point it would presumably flee from the garbage truck and the trauma would teach it a lesson about trespassing. But on realizing that I am in fact a softhearted little cream puff, he relented and told me to ask Monica the mechanic for a long board, which I could put one end in the bin and let the little varmint climb out again. A raccoon's sheer lack of grace as it runs for safety is a fascinating thing.

The downside of my thoughtless act of mercy was that, as far as the raccoon was concerned, I was now his inside man. He could break in every night, and every morning I would be there to put the board into the bin to let him out. Soon there were two raccoons in the Dumpster every morning. Then three.

And one morning, I opened the Dumpster lid, heard the skittering ... and the original raccoon recognized my face and sauntered toward me as though to say "Well? I'm waiting." Even reached up to help me put the board in place. I had to admit, to my shame, that this fat and sassy little bandit had me well and truly trained.

Unfortunately I have given in a few times and watched some, particularly ones with titles like "Five habits that make it so nobody takes you seriously" or "Stop these three common behaviors that make others lose respect for you", and it's all just trauma responses. Textbook examples of behaviors that people do when they have C-PTSD, particularly from abuse.

There's something so sad about how people who have already endured so much continue to be punished for what they've been through.

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

Nearly 1.6 million white-shell and brown-shell eggs have been recalled due to potential salmonella contamination.

Midwest Poultry Services L.P. issued a recall on July 22 for nearly 1.6 million dozen white and brown cage-free eggs from Texas due to potential Salmonella enteritidis contamination, according to a Food and Drug Administration recall report.

As of July 22, Midwest Poultry Services was not aware of any illnesses related to the eggs.

The company identified the issue through proactive environmental monitoring practices and root cause analysis, according to the recall report. The company was not distributing fresh eggs from its Texas farms as of July 22.

Here's what to know about the egg recall:

What eggs are recalled?

The recalled white and brown cage-free eggs have an identifying code printed on the left or right sides of the carton in date-coding ink. Only the codes P-1950 or 0840962 with a Julian date between 157 and 184 are recalled, according to the report.v.

Where were the recalled eggs sold?

The recalled eggs were sold in Kroger stores in Texas and Louisiana, Brookshire Grocery stores in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, New Mexico and Mississippi, and at other smaller retail outlets, according to the recall report.

The eggs were also shipped to foodservice and retailers in Texas, Oklahoma and Louisiana, the report states.

What to do if you own the recalled eggs

Consumers are urged to avoid consumption of the eggs and return the products to their original place of purchase for a full refund, according to the recall report.

Consumers with questions should contact Midwest Poultry Services at 574-405-9531 between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. ET Monday through Friday.

Symptoms of salmonella poisoning

Symptoms of salmonella poisoning usually start six hours to six days after ingesting the bacteria. The most common symptoms are diarrhea, fever and stomach cramps, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

While most healthy people can recover in four to seven days without treatment, some vulnerable groups, like children under 5, adults 65 and older, and those with weakened immune systems, may experience more severe illness that requires medical treatment or hospitalization.

If you display any of these more serious symptoms, the CDC advises contacting your health care professional:

Diarrhea and a fever higher than 102 degrees Fahrenheit.

Diarrhea for more than three days that is not improving.

Bloody diarrhea.

So much vomiting that you cannot keep liquids down.

"... you ATE A DOG?! 😱"

"Is he a good boy? Is he? Does he wants a tummy wubs?"

Customers grabbing a sandwich bun or a big leaf of romaine lettuce, and dispensing a stream of congealed salad byproduct.

Maybe a couple of machines for Oreo and frog-eye salad farther down, for those who prefer dessert.