dedofspace

Me before I came out, when I did pageants and modeling.

This was me the day of my junior prom. The dress weighed around 20 lbs, was the first one I tried on, and my makeup was done by someone who still thought brown lip liner looked good on white people. I spent the entire day being photographed and generally hating how I looked and wishing I could figure out why, when everything was technically perfect.

Came out in 2016, here's nine years of transformation (in reverse order, sorry)

Turns out I'm neither a Normal Guy nor a woman, but a much weirder type of faggy masc thing.

In my lifestyle lolita egg era. Somehow getting to dress like a princess gave me the will to get up in the morning

granted being a big ol goth doesn't really fit the bill of "socially acceptable heterosexual femininity" but i was HYPER feminine when i was closeted, especially in the years between when i FIRST tried to come out (age 16 - around the time of those first photos) and when i actually made the jump (age 19 - about a year after the last photo)

you can tell in that second to last photo i literally got a tattoo that said "MAD GIRL" which was an exercise in many things, including abstract self-harm, a visual reminder that i had given up on myself, and wildly underestimating the number of dudes who would misread it as BAD GIRL and take that as a cue to say gross shit to me while i was at work

anyway never kill yourself

haha yeah 🫣

consciously dipped my toes into the gender fuckery pool at around 15/16 but I was pentecostal at the time and well. took them out real quick

i tried very very hard to be “femme” for a LONG time but during covid lockdowns I didn’t have to perform for anyone and I slowly started to let it all go and now I’m a silly little man 😌

Needed a clean graphic for a project, and figured while I was vectoring I would put sex and magic back in.

Later during my 6-month employee review, the same supervisor said, "sometimes when you correct people, you can come on a little too strong and intimidate or offend people."

We went over the specific instances he was referring to, and I said, "I don't think I was unfair or too harsh in any of those situations. I think I was just straightforward for clarity."

He said, "maybe you don't realize your tone is too harsh because you're Autistic?"

So there it is.

If someone's very obviously singling you out to be outright cruel and unfair, you must give them the benefit of the doubt, because you're Autistic and cannot understand.

If you're being straightforward and normal, but someone thinks you're being unfair, you do not get the benefit of the doubt, because you're Autistic and cannot understand.

It also goes without saying that bioessentialism inherently can’t be trans inclusive no matter how hard you try. “All men including trans men—” probably not. “This is only a woman’s issue—” is it really? “Afabs only—” why? “All trans men are like—” what? what are they like? finish the sentence i dare you.

and one with mama 🩵

With mama !

Leaf time with mama :3

With mama!

let's fend for ourselves after hatching withOUT mama!!

very rare sight with mama!!

with mama :)

on mama :)

with mama :]

booping mama/papa/sis/brother

and one with momma!!

and one with mama! 💚

The spotted hyena

Resting with mama <3

with mama!

with mama !!

with mama!!

with mama!

with mama!!

with mama!!

WITHOUT MAMA???

You're not mama! >:[

with mama!

with mama <3

singing with papa