The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

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@atw2006
The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

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Absolutely love how emotionally aware my child is for a 4 and a half year old do not however love stubbing my toe on the island for the 100th time today and hearing "hey mama it's okay to cry! It's not okay to throw a fit though, and we hafta re-...we have to reconitize the difference"
When I immediately say "oh no thanks" to a food she offers me she says "oh mommy, chefs try new foods. Can you take one , two, bites for me and if you really don't like it then I won't ask forever again deal?"
like you know what fine sure I'll try your truly heinous concoction because I do in fact hafta respect the deals
the first time one of the centaurs makes a joke about “wow who knew shane hollander was a freak, we thought all he knew how to do was play hockey,” shane responds, “well, hockey’s like sex, so.” and he is 100% serious
ilya and shane being invited to the wedding of one of their teammates and there's like a hundred people and all the kids take a liking to ilya because he's ilya and he's not boring like the other grown ups and this little boy in particular seems to really like him and ilya notices how he holds his hands over his ears when the guests get a little too loud so he speaks to him a little extra softly and unlike the other children he doesn't like the fun colorful looking sour candy because it makes his mouth hurt so ilya offers him the plain chips instead and he doesn't really play with the other children much but he likes showing ilya his dinosaur toys and the little boy's mother, who doesn't know that he is a famous hockey player, comes over and she seems really surprised that he likes ilya because normally he doesn't like talking to strangers and ilya just chuckles and says he reminds me a little of my husband and the mother goes oh is your husband also autistic? and ilya looks at her confused which starts a conversation about autism and the more this woman tells him the more he looks over at shane and then the little boy and then back to shane and for a reason he can't explain he feels a little panicked as if accidentally discovering something he wasn't supposed to but then at the end of the night he thinks it doesn't even matter because that's his shane who he loves so much who also prefers the plain chips because the flavor isn't overwhelming and maybe there's a word for it but it doesn't matter because ilya wouldn't have him any other way
To myself, raised in an environment that glorified and romanticized restriction and suffering:
There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.
There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.
There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.
There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.
There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.
There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.
You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.
It’s okay to live abundantly. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to indulge. This paralysis of self-punishment, self-restriction, self-loathing is not healthy or good for you.

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Ok I’m actually starting to get a little defensive of Ilya because why am I seeing more and more characterization of him as messy, undisciplined, irresponsible, etc.
Like yes, he’s more carefree than Shane, but he’s also one of the best hockey players in the world and you don’t get there without an insane amount of discipline, and even beyond that we literally see him acting as a caretaker for his father, managing money for his brother, arranging his father’s funeral and getting it done quickly and efficiently, none of that is the behavior of someone who’s never used a calendar…
Wait wait wait can I?? Can I add?????
I think what’s delicious about Ilya is his self worth related to these concepts. He thinks he’s lazy, messy, undisciplined. You listen, you don’t soeak. Yes. You need a haircut. Yes, Father. The problem is leadership. Yes, nod, yes. But repeatedly we are shown that Ilya is good. He’s an attentive lover, he’s a good friend. He tries to be a good son to a hard man. He gives his brother whatever he asks for. He inspires his teammates. He worries that Ryan Price’s book will fall on the floor and oh fuck Price is going to lose his place, I will help, oh fuck, I failed.
But his family tells him he’s no good, so it must be true. They have been the loudest voices in his life and that’s literally become his inner monologue. But then here comes Shane “I don’t know that side of you at all” Hollander and soon enough Ilya is monologuing into the phone on the street outside of his father’s funeral about how actually no. He’s given everything to his family. He makes everything perfect. And he couldn’t physically be there for his father all the time but he paid for it all. And yet they despise him. He knows why, or says he does. But I don’t think does, I think in that moment the seed is planted that Ilya is lovable. And he doesn’t have to be perfect, he doesn’t have to drain himself dry. The person who loves him is trying to fill his cup from thousands of miles away.
Ilya lives somewhat hedonistically because he has a nihilist edge. What does it fucking matter, Hollander? He has a hopelessness, but he fights it. These characters are triumphant, even if that triumph is bittersweet. If Shane is on a journey to self acceptance then Ilya’s is one of self-actualization. The more he loves, the more he loves himself.
dean smith starts intercepting angel transmissions during his work calls
he doesn’t, of course, know what it is, only it’s definitely weird voices, and no one else hears it , and he’s sure he’s going nuts
he changes headset over headset and one day even shuts his office door and tries out tin foil
to no avail
i guess this very well could be cas trying to break into zach’s mini fantasy fortress
he’s trying to warn dean smith, which just would only serve to make dean more and more paranoid (a voice telling him not to trust anyone? to run? i mean, yikes)
this culminates in cas breaking into the world but majorly incognito, as a very “inconspicuous” character, maybe a janitor
cas ambushes the admin assistant, and apologizes profusely for the ‘almost-miss’
all the while fucking up the lids of dean smith’s coffee
so when dean smith inevitably takes a drink, there’s -predictably- a huge (very hot) mess
cas positions himself perfectly, as the closet building mgmnt to dean’s office, and as soon as he hears the pained yelp, he’s on his way to clean up the coffee catastrophe
he doesn’t want to spook dean ofc or blow his own cover, so mostly he’s collecting details on what might be keeping dean here (as it turns out: bobby, ellen, jo).
Oh Janitor Cas is definitely getting surprise-kissed, and he’s like mmmmmmmmm? leaning pleasantly into it before he REMEMBERS
so Cas ofc breaks it off and Dean Smith panics, thinking he just dangerously outed himself and misread everything, Cas tries to soothe the distress with a half-truth, like:
“Dean, if you really knew me, you wouldn’t want this…”
And that somehow backfires, bc Dean Smith gets all starry-eyed, “So come to the hospital with me tomorrow, and we’ll grab lunch after… get to know each other…”
#dean smith au
#janitor cas
#dean’s world grows legs and the hospital materializes and cas finds himself meeting the spectre of dean smiths family
#and he’s so charmed but also heartbroken
Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)
It's Open With Ilana Glazer
alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.
we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)
please rb for larger sample size!
Question 1/3
What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?
under 18, AI is a net positive
under 18, AI is a net negative
18-29, AI is a net positive
18-29, AI is a net negative
30-45, AI is a net positive
30-45, AI is a net negative
46-60, AI is a net positive
46-60, AI is a net negative
over 60, AI is a net postive
over 60, AI is a net negative
Question 2/3
How often do you visit or interact with museums/archives (whether in person or online)?
Frequently (multiple times per month)
Often (multiple times per year)
Occasionally (a couple times per year)
Rarely (once every couple of years)
Never :(
Question 3/3
If you saw a museum was using AI in exhibits, marketing, research, etc., would you be more or less inclined to visit that museum?
under 18, more inclined
under 18, less inclined
18-29, more inclined
18-29, less inclined
30-45, more inclined
30-45, less inclined
46-60, more inclined
46-60, less inclined
over 60, more inclined
over 60, less inclined
Thank you for helping with this data collection. Please rb for as big a sample as possible!
🫶
Fun Fact, thats, more or less, something that wealthy people in China and Japan did, they were called “musical floorboards.” Designed to squeak when stood upon. A person could make noise all the way down a corridor.
The residents and servants knew which floorboards made a sound and avoided them. But a burglar, or assassin didn’t. If you heard the creaking of floorboards, you knew danger was coming.
Even better, despite what movies may show, a lot of the old west was founded by Chinese immigrants, so there could have been carpenters around who knew how to make the musical floorboards!
In Japan these are called “Nightengale Floors,” which I love.

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Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone
given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that
cliff marleau and ilya rozanov are best friends not because they’re teammates or marleau was assigned to look after roz when he first got to the raiders, but because, even though it takes so much alcohol to get him drunk, when ilya gets drunk he can only be described as white girl wasted and marly is the EXACT same way. they are in the mens bathroom in front of the mirror like “is my shirt unbuttoned enough for people to look at my tits?” “yeah man your boobs look GREAT! can you tell me if these jeans look good on my ass i think i saw a girl eying me” “marly your ass looks phenomenal and you can trust me on this as i am a well known ass man” “aw man rozzy you’re making me blush”
they share clothes all of the time, not even really on purpose, they just spend so much time hungover together that things get muddled. this isn't a problem until marley sees shane hollander, wearing his shirt??? obviously he immediately accuses ilya of cheating on him (partying without inviting him to join). shane is visibly devastated, ilya is frantically explaining, and thats how marley is the first person in the nhl to learn about hollanov
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

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Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like
I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.
I fully believe that Shane and Ilya cannot agree on an anniversary. Shane says it was the All Stars weekend because that's when he thought they were both 100% serious about the relationship because that's when he was, Ilya says it was the cottage when they said "I love you'' because he didn't believe in it until that moment. They find this out the first year with Shane's anniversary date when Shane plans an elaborate secret date the last night of All Stars and gets Ilya gifts, and Ilya has no idea what its for. They agree to disagree on the date, "We will just celebrate twice a year, I guess." It happens again with their wedding anniversary, Shane says its when they legally got married, Ilya says it was when the twins married them because he doesnt care about about being officially married in the eyes of Canadian law he cares about the first time they said "I do". They find this out when a reporter asks them about their wedding and when they had it and they both gave different answers. Once again they agree to just celebrate twice a year. They say it is because the date doesn't really matter and both of them are right in some way, but in reality it is so they can compete on who plans the more romantic, thoughtful, and elaborate anniversary date. And so that they don't fight about who's planning the date this year or making conflicting plans by accident.