the correct number of eyes @strictlyquadrilateral - Tumblr Blog

maybe i should turn replies off. the quality of the average reply isn't that much worse than the quality of the average reblog-adding-something but the lows are so much worse and more annoying

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strictlyquadrilateral

okay, like, listen. imagine if animals formed a support group for people who aren't human. and all the resources were like "for creatures with four legs" and the birds went "hey, we don't have four legs? can we be included please?" and the other animals went "oh my GOD stop making things about you. humans have two legs so you can't possibly be oppressed for having two legs." and also no one is even talking about insects or arachnids.

strictlyquadrilateral

would this post be more or less comprehensible if i put a big "OP IS INTERSEX" sticker at the bottom

#i didn't put a lot of effort into this post but you get what i mean. i hope

okay, like, listen. imagine if animals formed a support group for people who aren't human. and all the resources were like "for creatures with four legs" and the birds went "hey, we don't have four legs? can we be included please?" and the other animals went "oh my GOD stop making things about you. humans have two legs so you can't possibly be oppressed for having two legs." and also no one is even talking about insects or arachnids.

strictlyquadrilateral

maybe i would get better or more interesting results if i started plastering infoboxes on my posts

strictlyquadrilateral

[thinks about it for like one more minutes] actually probably i would get worse replies and they likely wouldn't be different enough to matter

maybe i would get better or more interesting results if i started plastering infoboxes on my posts

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strictlyquadrilateral

why is "i need one of my meds refilled early because otherwise i'm going to be out of state when i run out" such a difficult thing to resolve. the pharmacist asked me what i wanted to do if my insurance wouldn't pay for it early; i asked if i could pay out of pocket and the pharmacist said they'd have to ask if my insurance would allow that. huh??

strictlyquadrilateral

apparently i get one (1) override a year and i will in fact be getting my meds, but also oh my god i'm glad the timing worked out such that my other meds should last until i get back? and also this has got to suck so bad for people who travel more than i do

why is "i need one of my meds refilled early because otherwise i'm going to be out of state when i run out" such a difficult thing to resolve. the pharmacist asked me what i wanted to do if my insurance wouldn't pay for it early; i asked if i could pay out of pocket and the pharmacist said they'd have to ask if my insurance would allow that. huh??

#this is probably a normal problem in the us but i've never run into it before because i mostly don't go anywhere

strictlyquadrilateral

i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.

a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?

i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."

i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.

strictlyquadrilateral

#it seems like you might be vaguing about a specific argument or discourse so I want to state clearly that I'm not involved with that#BUT. I do want to say. You say in a few years to decades#There have actually been trans kids who were supported in their transition for a while now#my elementary school had at least three#one of whom was close friends with my little sister so I saw first hand that she really was being treated like any other little girl#up to and including the big tweenage friend group breakup rip#wherever she is she's 23 now#and I transitioned later but I was never really closeted just took a long time to figure shit out#everyone was supportive I haven't had to fight for jack shit#literally no one has been actually transphobic to my face#(my ex's mom was snide behind my back but that sucked for my ex more than for me)#the future is now and i feel like more people should know that (via @savouryduck)

this is good information! i would guess that the statistic vary wildly from community to community; i'm not personally aware of any trans adult in my circles who was supported in their transition from a young age, but i don't actually know all that many people in the grand scheme of things. i do feel like this also supports my ultimate point about who gets to be included; if we already have stereotypically trans adults who've experienced very little friction about their identity, then we're very late to grappling with the idea of transgender identity that isn't tied to suffering.

strictlyquadrilateral

#might be worth nothing that terfs often define womanhood through the misogyny they’ve faced. and that clearly hasn’t worked out well for#trans people and honestly I can’t imagine it’s pleasant to define a part of yourself by your suffering at all#like we’ve seen this happen to trans people already by cis women (via @blodeweddschild)

#Ah this is suppprted by those AITA and similar stories#Where the kids coming out are upset when their parents arent upset#Or anything maybe just 'thats great bud pass the potatoes'#Thats what we want but if youre hanging your gay hat on suffering#(Or i suspect hoping that queerness gives you some specialness and attention)#Youre setting yourself and others up for disappointment and (further) alienation (via @byebyeskylark)

some people really seem to think they need to be the most oppressed in order for their emotions or experiences to matter. i don't really get it and i certainly don't like it. "my suffering and suffering like mine is the only suffering that's real" type rhetoric is inaccurate and dangerous.

the-real-seebs

i'm reminded of the time someone in a tumblr thread commented that they wished they'd been raped so they could demand that people listen to them.

and honestly, given that they were also saying that fantasy novels with dragons were bad because they might cause people to commit arson, i think i personally would not listen to them regardless.

i really hope no one is deciding whether or not to listen to me based on whether or not they think the dubiously-to-non-consensual experiences i've had count as "rape".

strictlyquadrilateral

oh my god???

strictlyquadrilateral

i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.

a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?

i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."

i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.

strictlyquadrilateral

#it seems like you might be vaguing about a specific argument or discourse so I want to state clearly that I'm not involved with that#BUT. I do want to say. You say in a few years to decades#There have actually been trans kids who were supported in their transition for a while now#my elementary school had at least three#one of whom was close friends with my little sister so I saw first hand that she really was being treated like any other little girl#up to and including the big tweenage friend group breakup rip#wherever she is she's 23 now#and I transitioned later but I was never really closeted just took a long time to figure shit out#everyone was supportive I haven't had to fight for jack shit#literally no one has been actually transphobic to my face#(my ex's mom was snide behind my back but that sucked for my ex more than for me)#the future is now and i feel like more people should know that (via @savouryduck)

this is good information! i would guess that the statistic vary wildly from community to community; i'm not personally aware of any trans adult in my circles who was supported in their transition from a young age, but i don't actually know all that many people in the grand scheme of things. i do feel like this also supports my ultimate point about who gets to be included; if we already have stereotypically trans adults who've experienced very little friction about their identity, then we're very late to grappling with the idea of transgender identity that isn't tied to suffering.

strictlyquadrilateral

#might be worth nothing that terfs often define womanhood through the misogyny they’ve faced. and that clearly hasn’t worked out well for#trans people and honestly I can’t imagine it’s pleasant to define a part of yourself by your suffering at all#like we’ve seen this happen to trans people already by cis women (via @blodeweddschild)

#Ah this is suppprted by those AITA and similar stories#Where the kids coming out are upset when their parents arent upset#Or anything maybe just 'thats great bud pass the potatoes'#Thats what we want but if youre hanging your gay hat on suffering#(Or i suspect hoping that queerness gives you some specialness and attention)#Youre setting yourself and others up for disappointment and (further) alienation (via @byebyeskylark)

some people really seem to think they need to be the most oppressed in order for their emotions or experiences to matter. i don't really get it and i certainly don't like it. "my suffering and suffering like mine is the only suffering that's real" type rhetoric is inaccurate and dangerous.

strictlyquadrilateral

i hate when gluten free flours are shelved with wheat flour. i get nervous when i have to walk down a baking aisle. we need to start mandatory training about cross contamination for everyone who has any part in the food supply chain. frankly i think we should be treating gluten that could become airborne as a biohazard when it's in a shared space (such as a grocery store).

strictlyquadrilateral

i think gluten-containing flours should be quarantined from the rest of the store and in extremely sealed packages instead of barely sealed paper and i'm not kidding.

msh2o2

As someone who's worked in a grocery store, i genuinely don't think grocery stores are in any way safe if you have celiacs. Those bags are not even a little bit airtight. Just picking one up is enough to release a little puff of wheat flour into the air, and during stocking it fills the whole aisle with a haze of flour. I used to wear a mask just because it was hard to breathe.

strictlyquadrilateral

can flour manufacturers PLEASE use packaging that is not that. oh my god

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strictlyquadrilateral

i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.

a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?

i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."

i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.

strictlyquadrilateral

#it seems like you might be vaguing about a specific argument or discourse so I want to state clearly that I'm not involved with that#BUT. I do want to say. You say in a few years to decades#There have actually been trans kids who were supported in their transition for a while now#my elementary school had at least three#one of whom was close friends with my little sister so I saw first hand that she really was being treated like any other little girl#up to and including the big tweenage friend group breakup rip#wherever she is she's 23 now#and I transitioned later but I was never really closeted just took a long time to figure shit out#everyone was supportive I haven't had to fight for jack shit#literally no one has been actually transphobic to my face#(my ex's mom was snide behind my back but that sucked for my ex more than for me)#the future is now and i feel like more people should know that (via @savouryduck)

this is good information! i would guess that the statistic vary wildly from community to community; i'm not personally aware of any trans adult in my circles who was supported in their transition from a young age, but i don't actually know all that many people in the grand scheme of things. i do feel like this also supports my ultimate point about who gets to be included; if we already have stereotypically trans adults who've experienced very little friction about their identity, then we're very late to grappling with the idea of transgender identity that isn't tied to suffering.

i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.

a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?

i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."

i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.

luckyladylily

I've known a number of non binary people in my life and I think single biggest conclusion I can draw from that is that non binary people are not the same. Like if Men fit in box A and women fit in box B, people really, really want nonbinary people to fit in a theoretical box C, and it just doesn't work like that. They are outside the boxes. They defy any simple categorization because they are not a third way of being, but every other possible way of being.

Being supportive of binary people is relatively simple, they have decided to sort themselves into one of the boxes that we have lots of experience interacting with. Being supportive of nonbinary people can be comparatively tricky, because you have to resist the urge to create box C and drop them all there. That's how we end up with various prejudices like "woman lite". Humans really, really like to categorize things. It helps us think. Unfortunately, sometimes it helps us think wrong.

If you have a non binary person in your life, I think it is important to take the extra effort to learn about them specifically.

#not the exact thing i was talking about but very related

i mean a lot of people seem to think i'm some sort of spoiled brat who doesn't know how to handle hardship, as opposed to someone who had a pretty shitty childhood and is making active choices in their life. people have always hated it when i made choices. i just don't understand why they all think they know better than me what my own trade-offs and limitations are.

they sent me a death threat and blocked me. why are you so viscerally upset by my pushback against your being an asshole to me on my post lmao

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strictlyquadrilateral

some people really truly believe that if you make choices they wouldn't have made, you shouldn't be allowed to make choices

strictlyquadrilateral

my bioparents legitimately tried to argue that i was incapable of informed consent, because when i was informed what medication i had been prescribed, i did not consent to taking it. this is not what informed consent means. but because i made a choice they didn't like, they thought they could use it as evidence i should have my ability to make choices taken away.

this kind of behavior is not more endearing in strangers. it's just less actively threatening.

some people really truly believe that if you make choices they wouldn't have made, you shouldn't be allowed to make choices

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