If Stormlight Characters Babysat Oroden...
As requested by anon37 and also another anon. :)
If I remember correctly, anon37 wanted characters babysitting Oroden, and another anon wanted an Oroden feature, so this one is both! Oroden is Kaladin's little brother, currently a toddler. So if various Stormlight characters got to babysit him, here is how I think it would go!
[Navani's entry contains a major WAT spoiler!!!]
[Nale and Oroden are playing Rosharan Candyland so, uh, Spiceland or something]
Nale: Oroden Stormblessed, did you just cheat?
Oroden [who tossed the card he picked onto the floor so he could have a better card]: Yup!
Nale: ...
Nale: [Crosses "Skybreaker" off his "Possible Radiant Orders for Oroden" list]
Hesina: Uh, Nale? Are you trying to figure out if Oroden is going to be Radiant?
Nale: ...Old habits die hard.
Sebarial: [hefty sigh] Why did I agree to this again?
Sebarial: [handing Oroden a handful of clear chips] Yes, yes, go buy yourself a snack.
Sebarial: I don't even like kids.
Sebarial: [handing Oroden a toy sword with an embedded gem so it actually glows] Here, play with this.
Sebarial: Ugh, it's definitely the worst day ever.
Sebarial: [handing Oroden more money] Go get some dessert too.
Oroden: I love you, Uncle Sebar!
Sebarial: ...
Sebarial: Ew, why?
Shallan: Kaladin, your little brother is a DELIGHT.
Shallan: And he loves hearing stories about you!
Kaladin: ...
Kaladin: What kind of stories?
Oroden: [pointing at Kaladin] GIVE ME YOUR BOOTS
Oroden: [shrieking with laughter]
Kaladin: SHALLAN
Adolin: Rawr, I'm a monster! I'm gonna getcha!
Oroden: [waving around a stick] Rarrr! I slay you!
Adolin: Nooo.... I am slain!!!!!!
Lirin: [twitching]
Hesina: Shhhh, it's cute!
Oroden: I wanna slide around!
Lift: Okay, sure! Come sit on my lap, and we'll slide all over!
Oroden: No! I wanna slide by myself!
Lift: By yourself? Hmmm....
[Later]
Hesina: Wh-Why is my child so slippery???
Lift: A tub of vegetable oil, baby!
Oroden: I love to slide!
6. Navani [WARNING: WAT SPOILERS!]
Oroden: (voice muffled) Um, Aunt Navani?
Oroden: (voice muffled) I wanna go play.
Oroden: (voice muffled) Can you stop hugging me?
Navani: (holding Oroden very tightly in her arms) Not a chance.
Lirin: Um, Lopen? Where is our son?
Lopen: Hmmm, I wonder...
[A giggle is heard from above]
Lirin: ...
Lirin: Please stop sticking our son to the ceiling.
Lopen: Aww, but he loves it!
Oroden: I'M CEILING BOY
Renarin: [playing blocks with Oroden]
Renarin: Remember--you can be anything you want to be.
Renarin: Don't let anyone tell you who you are, okay?
Oroden: I wanna be a DRAGON!
Renarin: ...
Renarin: I like your style.
Oroden: [peacefully sleeping]
Lirin: Impressive. Your bedtime story put him right to sleep.
Hoid: ...Thank you.
Design: Funny because it WASN'T a bedtime story but Oroden went right to sleep anyway!
Hoid: D-Don't tell them that!!
Hesina: I think it's cute how much Oroden loves Rlain.
Hesina: And that Rlain is teaching Oroden to sing.
Hesina: But--the song...
Oroden: (at the top of his lungs) SEVENTY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF WINE ON THE WALL! SEVENTY-EIGHT BOTTLES OF WINE!
Oroden: YOU TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND--SEVENTY-SEVEN BOTTLES OF WINE ON THE WALL!
Lirin: He might have a grudge against the Alethi after all.
Hesina: And we couldn't even blame him.