transsexual priestex

This is art to me

Thou wouldst not downloadeth a car

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

actually i would posit that this backlash against “meaningless flowery tumblr prose” is a direct result of people very proudly proclaiming for their entire adulthoods that they refuse to read classics. you would be so much less annoying if you had to sit through a dickens novel.

i don’t even mean that you have to come out of the experience liking the prose now, i just mean that you’d shut your mouth before you insinuate that this sort of thing is either indicative of a posturing writer making up for a lack of creative talent or that it’s a completely modern thing that happens in novels. and also it would take you at least a few months to finish your assigned reading so we’d all be free of you until then.

Go read some Dumas if you want to roll around in language and get fourteen adjectives, three discursions, and four ways of saying the same goddamn thing in every available orifice.

Oh NO.

me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*

my bi heart………

I’VE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS

*dies*

Oh shit.

GAY KNIGHTS

Fellas I’m real gay

@0hheytherebigbadwolf HELP!!

Every June this inevitably winds up back on my dash. And I appreciate that. And I will reblog it. Every time.

Hey, it’s @archerinventive, and the Pride Knights!

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

No one seems to be acknowledging the far funnier element of this, which is, that when you go to the commenter’s account, you find out they are actually fucking roleplaying as a sexually repressed skeleton and jjst really committed to the bit while everyone in the reblogs is talking about how much they hate minors or whatever. thank you kharak the skeleton servant of the almighty lich king

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

One of my favorite tricks for designing alien species/cultures is to take a real animal with an interesting lifecycle and think about what that biology would translate to if they had human intelligence

everyone is really vibing with the silkworm aliens I see