just be yourself and donât care about what other people think! Why would you care about what other people think about you?
(DISCLAIMER: what other people think about you will determine every aspect of your support network, your ability to get housing and employment, the quality of your medical care, how you are treated by the legal system, and how likely people will be to sic the police on you for violating social norms.)
hey, listen, I get where youâre coming from but I donât think this one is capitalismâs fault. I really donât think capitalism is responsible for the general concept of social ostracism. We canât just use capitalism to mean âbad thing-ismâ we gotta remember that some words mean things
I think this one is capitalism *and* colonialism.
colonialism also didn't invent social ostracism I'm sorry
I feel like capitalism is at least partially responsible for how whether or not you're 'likeable' enough to be employed dictates whether or not you have a roof over your head or food in the fridge. Like, yeah social ostracism isn't new or unique to capitalism, but I do think modern capitalism in particular has simplified the line between 'how others perceive you' and 'how likely you are to be/become homeless/arrested/institutionalised/fired/killed 'in self defence'/deported/etc'
In David Graeberâs Debt: The First 5,000 Years, he talks about a subgroup of Inuit people who lived in âprimitive communism.â Everything was shared. If you asked someone for it, they gave it to you, no questions asked. They refused to even see it as âgiftsâ or charity, it was just what you were supposed to do in your community, with one hunter famously saying âby gifts, you make dogs out of men.â
Then Graeber shared another story from the group - once there was a member of the group who got on everyoneâs nerves by asking the hunters for all of their best cuts of meat every time they returned with their haul. So one day the hunters invited him along on a seal hunting trip and then abandoned him on a raft in the Arctic ocean to die of exposure.
Social ostracism has existed before capitalism and it will outlive capitalism. Sometimes capitalism has even gone against social ostracism, like the famous example of the Sears and Roebuck magazine - the massive company could offer uniform products with uniform prices, which was a godsend for rural Black people because they could finally buy things for once in their lives without ludicrous markups from the local shopkeepers in their community!
PEOPLE WHO ARE DISLIKED BY THE COMMUNITY HAVE ALWAYS STRUGGLED TO LIVE AND IT WAS NOT LESS OF A PROBLEM BACK WHEN SOCIETY WAS ORIENTED AROUND SUBSISTENCE AGRICULTURE BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE IT WASNâT!
The reason social ostracism feels so bad like you're going to fucking die even when you're not and it's actually fine for now (mildly put your foot in your mouth around the water cooler, not like recognised the doctor sneering) is because most of human survival is predicated on having access to other humans and their resources and anything that threatens that is likely prelabelled with a big Mr. Yuk symbol in your mind because the people who didn't care about that shit died a whole lot more. This is one of the few things that you can say for sure is actual evo psych, not just an excuse for modern attitudes. It is a sign of a significant disability if it is not, this is a practical impediment to life and safety if you never feel social pain because it's meant to keep you safe from this just as much as physical pain is. This is why socially torturing someone, feigning acceptance and then withdrawing, smearing them publicly, humiliation, it's super painful and regularly traumatises people. Being seen as socially responsible for the bad thing that happened to you significantly increases the chances of developing PTSD because without other's sympathy and understanding your brain screams that much louder due to this. This is not to say going against social convention is impossible or anything, obviously not, but it's hard and has drawbacks for real reasons and is not just everyone being stupid and overly sensitive or whatever. This sucks because social conventions cover a lot from not being a dick, to less important nuances that can tangle the unwary/unusual, to just magically not having the type of body you have or living the kind of life that you need.
Anyway, this is part of why it's really important for public services to exist, to be universal, and to have serious external oversight that is not fucking around. I don't want anyone to suffer and starve, even people I hate, and the best safeguard I have ever seen against that is systematic. Systems fail and throw people down cracks and to the wolves all the time, but can sometimes do better than leaving it up to individual people to throw each other to the wolves. It takes real and dedicated work, constant work, but I want a world where the doctor that leaves a patient they dislike to die is found out, removed from the profession, faces social stigma that is unlikely to kill them but is significantly deterring themselves, and every other doctor knows this is the result of that behaviour, not where we pretend this is impossible or shield those with power from those they harm. That takes robust public systems that are well resourced and scrutinised. Even then, it is inevitably imperfect, but still better.
















