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Well well well we’ve reached the point in the rewatch when Teyla’s wraith DNA is revealed, reminding me of how much I wish John’s significant Ancient DNA played more of a part in the overall series. I personally really like how Teyla’s wraith traits played a part in the show but it feels like John’s ancient traits (the strongest of anyone in the show and the whole reason the series kicks off) really drops off the map after the first few episodes which is a real shame cuz the dichotomy of Ancient/Wraith being represented in the SGA team.
So anyways here’s a lil something something I turned out while watching, a more Ancient John and a more Wraith Teyla, just for vibes. (Also man the ancients have terrible fits I’m just throwing that out there)
but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:
start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)
measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.
remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.
become consumed with despair.
decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.
remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit.
once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.
now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably.
take a minute to dwell upon your failings.
grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.
pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up.
melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.
put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.
remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)
CONSUME THE RICE.
realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen.
put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.
for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.
8 tbsp / 1 stick butter (you can reduce this if you don’t want to have a heart attack)
Put the rice in a pot and cover it in cold water and salt. Let it soak overnight. (If you don’t have the time to soak it, rinse the rice with cold water until it runs clear.)
Edit: The reason you want to soak basmati and other aromatic rice before cooking is to preserve more acetylpyrroline, the compound that gives aromatic rice its characteristic scent and flavor. Soaking rice allows the grains to absorb water, which reduces the cooking time, which means less time for the acetylpyrroline to cook off. It’ll still taste pretty good if you can’t do this, but you don’t want “pretty good”, you want mind-blowing, so for that perfect flavor you’ll want to soak your rice overnight. The soaking process also washes away the layer of starch on the outside of the rice, which allows the grains to separate rather than sticking together; this is why you want to rinse your rice thoroughly if you don’t have time to soak it.
Preheat your oven to 325°.
Boil three quarts of water in a separate pot. Once it’s at a fast boil, drain the rice and add it to the water. Boil for 5-7min or until one grain tastes half-cooked, but not soft. Pour the rice into a colander and rinse with cold water.
Edit: This step also helps get rid of any remaining starch on your grains, for perfectly separated rice. If your colander or strainer has large holes, you can put a paper towel/cheesecloth/clean dishcloth on the inside in order to drain your rice. Pour carefully if you’re using a paper towel, though, and put a bowl underneath your colander; I once lost a heartbreaking amount of rice when my paper towel got oversaturated and tore open.
Liberally grease the bottom of your baking pan with some of your butter. Pour the rice on top. Melt the rest of the butter in the microwave and pour on top of the rice.
Bake for 45min. (If you like, cover the rice for part or all of the baking time, but I find it gets less crispy on top if you do this.) Shake the pan a couple times during baking to ensure that the butter distributes throughout the entire dish.
Eat.
Serves four. Can easily be scaled up if needed (or down, but why would you do that?). Best enjoyed with a nice cup of chai.
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I was tagged by @veliseraptor in the 9 Lines meme, which inspired me to actually write a fun brotp scene that's been rocking around my head for awhile. So thank you very much, Lise!!
The meme is simple: post nine(9) lines, exactly, from a current WIP. For me this is, of course, from we're a slow-burning tune, my f/f TOS Kirk/Spock AU:
To Uhura's eye, Kirk had obviously arrived for her own fitness routine, given their mutually tragic red leggings/bra situations and mutually impressive muscles—Kirk was a little taller, but not much, and had the same kind of build as Uhura, sturdy, curvy, certainly strong. She'd guess they were no more than five or six kilos apart if that.
"Excuse me, lieutenant," Uhura broke in, dropping lightly to the balls of her feet. She turned to Kirk. "Did you want to use the bar?"
Lieutenant Toothpick flushed, now trying to avoid looking at both of them.
"No, actually," said the captain. "At least not if—please relax, Mr. Parker," she interrupted herself, smiling enough to take the edge off. "You have as much right to be here as me."
I'm not sure exactly what all y'all are up to, so totally voluntary no-pressure guesswork here: @inziladun, @ladytharen, @ncfan-1, @venndaai, and anyone else who feels moved!
Paradoxically I think people often dismiss local elections as useless, which is also absolutely not true. Your local schoolboard might be aggressively banning books, or they might be fighting a trans sport ban. Paying attention to who gets elected to that board is important. It's just also important to know what you're electing someone to do, and what they can do.
It's both! People get mad at local positions for not tackling federal issues and get mad at national positions for not doing things governed by local offices.
Sometimes it's easier to just harass your park board into doing something rather than to harass your senator into creating a cascading set of legislation that would allow them to do it. And also don't be mad that your park board didn't vote for a ceasefire with Iran.
terps: Epinetron” (επίνητρον) is a ceramic thigh protector that women in Ancient Greece used while spinning wool on their thighs. Penelope is usually pictured with one so it is associated with an activity you do while waiting. For Ulysses to come back, for the crisis to end. [...] I made this epinetron during the lockdown and sculpting it on my thigh, working on top of it for hours, I felt that I replicated the work of the women before me. The “spinning women” as they were called by male archaeologists, who perceived them as unethical because they were working.
A Greek Epinetron, a ceramic cover for the knees used by women so that their clothing would not be spoiled while weaving. Typically offered as a wedding gift, it was often taken to a woman's grave. 425-420 BC. National Museum, Athens.
The epinetron (Greek: ἐπίνητρον, pl.: epinetra, ἐπίνητρα; "distaff"); Beazley also called them onoi, sg.: onos) was a shape of Attic pottery worn on the thighs of women during the preparation of wool, not unlike a thimble for the thigh.[1] Decorated epinetra were placed on the graves of unmarried girls, or dedicated at temples of female deities.[citation needed]
Because of the strong association between wool-working and the Ancient Greek ideal of women and wives—as in the case of Penelope weaving in the Odyssey—it is a shape associated with the wedding.[2]
The theme of its decoration tended to be related to its use. The top surface was often incised to make it rough in order to rub the wool fibers. There was often a female head placed at the closed end, where the knee was covered. Epinetra were often decorated, sometimes depicting black figure Amazon women, as in the case of an epinetron painted by the Sappho painter between 500 and 490 BCE.[3]
The base of an epinetron from Athens, depicting a lion and a pegasus
NO I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO NOT KEEP CLICKING UNLESS YOU ARE OKAY WITH BEING SPOILED.
LAST WARNING.
ALSO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG AS FUCK, SORRY NOT SORRY.
CW: BOOK ACCURATE HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE
THE YELLING STOPS AFTER THIS I PROMISE.
There's a very interesting thread that runs through the fandom that I'm finding more and more difficult to ignore.
There seems to be this idea that Rachel hates Shane, and the whole series is about humbling Shane and making him pay for something she feels he's done?
I read the whole series a couple times - even Common Goal, which i really didn't like - and it's become very clear to me that a lot of other people haven't. It's even more clear that a lot of people struggle with subtext.
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are the backbone of the entire Game Changers Series. If you go strictly chronologically, their story begins it (2008, Regina) and ends it (October 2021, Ottawa, plus whenever Unrivaled ends)
We talk about Ilya wandering the NHL like the Pied Piper of Queerlandia, and it's true. He is in every book. But Shane haunts the narrative as well, though often when people are talking about him rather than with him.
Specifically, Shane's gayness haunts the narrative
In the epilogue of Heated Rivalry, Shane says he came out to his team, but he wasn't going to come out publically, because his private life is his own. What Shane DOESN'T say is he came out to his team and it went well.
The only person outside his parents that knows about Ilya is Hayden, and Hayden hates Ilya. They never really warm to each other. We know that Shane is an internalizer. On RR's list, Shane is barely in touch with his own feelings.
He takes in information but doesn't necessarily process it emotionally. I am sure he has noted that 1, his team would rather he not discuss being gay and 2, his closest friend is okay with the gay but not okay with the Ilya of it all. Shane likely extrapolates from there that people who aren't as close to him will like it even less.
In Tough Guy, we see the charity announcement from an outside perspective - the Guardians locker room.
The first thing we learn is everyone is surprised b/c the rivalry between Shane and Ilya had been perceived by other players as particularly bitter.
Again, look at clips that discuss the Sid/Ovi rivalry, look how they were on the ice at the beginning of their careers.
The second thing we learn is that a lot of players think Shane is gay, and it's discussed in the locker rooms.
And it's not a positive discussion. Troy says they're fucking, Kent says Ilya would never but Shane is a "fucking homo".
There is no confirmation that anyone has heard Shane is gay yet; it hasn't spread to Toronto at least, but maybe none of the Gardians have any friends on the Voyaguers. But people suspect, and not all of them are good about it, and as it spreads around the league, I'm sure more players approach more Voyageurs, and Shane hears about it via his own team mates.
So now we can assume Shane is aware his sexuality is a topic of conversation.
In Common Goal, Scott confirms to Eric that Shane is gay; the rumor he came out to the team is a generally known secret. Eric notices a mutual respect between Shane and Ilya at All Stars, but a friendship still seems unlikely, and he assumes when they snipe in the bar later that Ilya is annoyed with Shane.
By Role Model, it's increasingly clear that Shane's gayness is an accepted fact. Troy even considers asking Ilya for Shane's phone number. But we see in TLG that Shane is more rigid than we've ever seen him.
In Tough Guy he's kind of OK with Ryan catching him and Ilya at a hockey camp; by TLG Shane is nervous when Ilya reaches out to touch him at Fabian's concert.
In HR we see Shane eat burgers and tuna melts; by TLG he has become fixated on his diet.
In HR, Shane talks with Ilya about letting close friends know about them; by TLG Shane is convinced that if anyone ever finds out he'll lose his role as captain, his place on the Voyageurs, and his legacy as the greatest player in the NHL. Everything that their plan is supposed to protect. After all, the plan was to allow them to be together while still playing hockey.
Shane turns out to be correct. The Voyageurs turn on him and accuse him of cheating because he tripped.
So do a lot of fans and sports journalists.
Do you have any idea how often people trip playing hockey? YOU SHOULD GO FIND OUT. Because once you do you will realize this allegation is absolutely insane on more levels than "Shane would never let Ilya win."
For his team - including JJ, whom Shane considers a friend - to turn on him so easily, something has gone very fucking wrong in the locker room for a very long time.
BUT WE NEVER SEE IT.
The most we see of Shane in person after HR is in TLG. A story told through the eyes of Ilya, a character suffering through a major mental health crisis that he refuses to share with anyone.
Through Ilya's eyes we see a distracted Shane, a Shane that is never there fast enough, a Shane that is playing incredible hockey while Ilya plays shit hockey (this is Ilya's opinion, but it's not true, Ilya's hockey is still amazing), a Shane that has a whole huge busy life when all Ilya has is Shane.
In the other books, we see Ilya at the bar with other teams, Ilya attending a funeral of a player who dies by suicide, Ilya recruiting players from all over the league to coach at their camps, Ilya making friends with Troy, with Ryan, with Eric Bennett for god's sake.
In those books, Ilya is charming and gregarious and having the time of his life. And making Ottawa better; they're losing still, but not as much, and not as badly. But Ilya is unable to see this in the midst of his depression.
To an inattentive reader, Shane appears selfish, and thoughtless. But Shane notices Ilya is not well and recommends therapy - Shane sees Ilya less than anyone else in Ilya's life but is the only one who notices Ilya is struggling. Shane reaches out to touch Ilya at Fabian's concert, without Ilya making it clear that he wants to be touched. Shane has always been and will always be hyperaware of Ilya.
This is not a narrative where Shane is being selfish; he's being shown as very attentive.
When Shane and Ilya are outed, readers seem to think that Shane is being punished by moving from Montreal to Ottawa.
But even before trip gate, I think Shane was considering moving. Possibly before the plane crash but definitely after. I'd say before the crash because I am sure the locker room has gotten increasingly toxic over the last few years and Shane feels it even if he can't say it.
But definitely after the crash because Shane has every intention of coming out with Ilya that summer, and he knows the Voyageurs won't take it well. He knows before trip gate because Hayden has never been able to handle it, and it's confirmed when JJ accuses him of throwing the game.
Shane was right. He can't be the captain of the Voyaguers AND in love with Ilya Rozanov. So he chooses Ilya.
And takes a pay cut of some kind to play in Ottawa.
Here's the thing.
We know Shane technically makes less than Ilya. Because Ottawa might have had the cap space for them both in 2017, but by 2020, they have taken on a decent number of players to do the rebuild that Ilya joined them for.
HOWEVER. There are always bonuses. Bonuses for games played, goals scored, points per game etc. Maybe a bonus if he gets them to a certain round in the play offs. These are some of the ways teams get around pesky things like salary caps. Ilya signed in 2017 for a fat contract, but he might not have gotten all the bonuses because they didn't need to fuck with the cap.
Shane gets to join a team that's on the rise and play out the last half of his career with his husband while winning like, at least two cups.
Additionally, Shane gets to live with Ilya. Be with Ilya. Finally have all that time they've been so desperate for since 2017. And Ottawa is no longer a shit team; they took out Montreal, the number one ranked team in the league. Even if they hadn't, pushing the first series in the Finals to game seven is very impressive.
Just before the cottage, this is Shane's deepest desire:
By the end of The Long Game, he has this. He is a legendary player, he gets to keep playing hockey, and he's openly in a relationship with Ilya without shame or fear.
This is the storyline from the books. The books were actually all about Shane Hollander, hockey phenom, meeting the love of his life in his junior year of high school, and through a series of fortunate and unfortunate events, learning that being your whole amazing, complicated self is better than anything else on earth.
How could you possibly think RR hates Shane? He gets everything: a legendary career, a loving family, respect, admiration, the fifth hottest NHL player as a husband, an adorable dog and an amazing team, and all he had to do was be himself.
I know people will not STFU about Rachel calling Shane selfish because he's hyper focused on his diet when Ilya is so sad.
But that sounds like the sort of thing people say to creatives who seem to choose their art over everything else. Shane's performance diet is about his job; its an extension of his hockey obsession. And we know his diet has become more intense in the years since he first came out to his team.
It sounds like words RR may have heard directed at her; that she's focusing on writing when she should be paying attention to her partner and kid. They may even be words she's directed at herself.
Ilya might be RR's favourite character, but I would bet you anything Shane is the character she knows the most. Shane is written with surprising sensitivity for a basically one dimensional jock; he's given a vivid imagination and a rich interior life which no other character has except maybe Ilya.
I'm not really sure how to wrap this up except, Shane isn't punished, Ottawa was never a shitty choice for Ilya or Shane, and Rachel Reid cannot possibly hate a character she wrote five books and created Ilya Rosanov for.
And if you can't see that I don't know what to tell you.
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Time for more Puck Talk, as it relates to the Game Changers Series.
Ilya in The Long Game is going through a mental health crisis and therefore is not really the most reliable narrator of his own life.
Ilya wasn't going to re sign with Boston. Period. No matter what happened at the cottage.
When Scott Hunter came out, Ilya realized that at least some of things he wanted were possible, but not in Boston.
In the book, Ilya sees Scott kiss Kip and feels like everything terrible in his life has been sucked away by a tornado
So much is still impossible. The rivalry. Russia. But the NHL had an out player now, and maybe that meant that he and Shane weren't hopeless after all.
Please remember, it is 2017 in the USA. Same sex marriage had only been legalised two years earlier, and Donald Trump was the sitting president and looking to roll back all kinds of freedoms.
The USA was clamping down on immigration, and homophobia was back on the rise.
Meanwhile in Canada, same sex marriage had been legal for over 10 years, LGBTQIA status was a protected class, and Canada was like "HEY IMMIGRANTS WE REALLY WANT YOU WE ARE SO EMPTY AND LONELY."
Canada had actively opposed the War in the Ukraine and was openly taking refugees from the conflict, and Canada had been granting refugee status based on sexual orientation since 1991.
If you were gay, Russian and liked hockey, Canada was your best bet.
Plus, check out our Prime Minister in 2017. Hot. And he was walking in the Pride Parade in Ottawa
Since everyone fucking forgets, Ilya brought up moving to a Canadian team when his contract ended, and the only team he wasn't considering was Montreal. Specifically because Montreal couldn't fucking afford him.
Ilya was never staying in Boston. And you need to give up your fanons for the show, guys (not fanfic, jist the show), because Ilya very specifically says Boston would not be so good about having someone like Harris (openly gay) on their staff. Ilya knows that, if he was outed, Boston Admin would not protect him.
I believe Cliff is an ally to Ilya too, because I love LoPresti, but in the books, there are no Boston players at the boys' wedding.
If Ilya is outed and the Raiders don't re sign him, Ilya loses his work visa. If he loses his work visa, he has to go back to Russia as an outed person, and we know he's not interested in seeing how that will turn out.
Ilya is coming to Canada NO MATTER WHAT.
If Shane and Ilya do the cottage and decide "meh, we are better fuck buddies than boyfriends" ILYA IS STILL COMING TO CANADA.
Ilya doesn't move teams FOR SHANE. He moves teams FOR HIMSELF.
Ilya doesn't move to Canada FOR SHANE. He moves to Canada FOR HIMSELF.
This is where a lack of hockey knowledge is a problem.
When Ilya was drafted, Boston was a shit team. Even with the new, mostly incomprehensible, draft lottery rules, you have to at least missed the playoffs to get the number one draft pick.
LORE TIME
In 2003, Pittsburgh had 1st overall draft pick, and drafted Marc Andre Fluery. In 2004, Pittsburgh had 2nd overall draft pick and drafted Evgeni Malkin. In 2005, they had the 1st overall draft pick AGAIN (please believe me when I tell you the Penguins fucking suuuuuucked) and picked Sidney Crosby.
In 2006, Geno finally got to Pittsburgh.
In 2009, Pittsburgh won the cup.
In case that's not easy enough math, it took 2 first overall picks, 1 second overall pick, six years and the literal greatest hockey player of all time (and also Kris Letang) for Pittsburgh to get it's shit together enough to win a cup, but it did get to the semis for the first time in 2007, which is 2 years
I have gotten lost in the lore. Please hang on.
Okay! When Shane and Ilya are drafted, they are drafted to teams with long histories who have played like shit for three seasons prior to their draft. No playoffs.
Surprisingly, they both get their teams to the playoffs in their rookie season. But it takes Ilya three more years and Shane 4 more years to actually get their teams a cup.
Hockey is a team sport. The point of trades is to find perfect fits. Lines that work cleanly. Depth at centre, fast wingers, strong defense, superb goal tending
So taking years to get a team to cup contention is not surprising, no matter how many first round single digit draft picks you get (I'M LOOKING AT YOU PENS).
Amd even when you have a winning team, you still futz around every trade season to get the winningest team. You keep what's working and move what isn't.
And if you're the team Admin, you pray to fucking god your superstars don't choose free agency. And you do whatever the fuck you can to make sure that doesn't happen.
For instance, Alexander Ovechkin has had exactly four NHL contracts in his life. His three year ELC, then a fucking insane 13 year extension for absolutely ridiculous amounts of money and an NTC that took effect in 2014, then a 5 year that should have taken him to retirement. This year, for the first time in Ovi's 22 year career, he was a free agent entirely by his own choice. Washington isn't stupid; they know Ovi is their whole personality. They'll keep him as long as he wants to stay.
Pittsburgh did the same with Crosby. His latest contract was signed a full fucking year before his last contract expired.
All this to say, Boston would have been foaming at the mouth to keep Ilya (or they would have traded him rather than let him lapse into free agency without getting anything good in exchange) and Ottawa probably offered just absolute scads of money to sign him.
Under cap rules, one player on the team can be paid up to 20% of the overall cap.
I'm not saying Ottawa did that - they really are trying to do a rebuild, and you need cap space for that, you can't build a team on one good player, and good players cost money. But they probably offered at least 11% (what Ovi got) and probably more. And then they went to work. The old coach retired. They brought in Brandon Weibe. They picked up Hayes and Barrett for a song and they set to work building Ilya a team that could win a cup
We know in the books that Ilya goes to Ottawa for (presumably) a fat paycheck. We know players speculate why he'd go to a shit team.
But honestly, players move all the time. Sure, some stay loyal to their draft team their entire career but that is very rare. Most players are chasing cups or paychecks or family their entire careers.
And also, please ignore the players in the book who are like "Ottawa is terrible and ruining Ilya's legacy" AND I INCLUDE ILYA ON THE IGNORE LIST.
There are so many books in the Game Changers Series it's easy to forget that the bulk of the story of them take place between 2017 and 2021. Scott meets Kip in 2017.
TLG begins in 2019. Ilya enters a massive mental health crisis. Part of that crisis is depression and the depression is telling him he plays on a not very good team.
Please remember, ILYA IS DEPRESSED and part of depression is REWRITING HISTORY.
When Ilya tells Shane he gave up hockey for him already, Ilya has forgotten that moving to Canada and getting PAAAAID was part of the plan BEFORE. He forgets Ottawa wasn't just a good choice because Shane is nearby, it's a good choice because HE GOT STUPID RICH and also got a Canadian work visa and a team that will not drop him if he is outed, thereby securing said visa should Russia cancel Ilya's passport. With a work visa, Ilya has an easy path to citizenship, whether he marries Shane or not.
Ilya got an easier path to citizenship, a higher chance of being granted asylum if he is outed, and absolutely stupid amount of money, a team that genuinely supports him. HE ALSO SHANE, but Shane is NOT the best thing.
Ilya is depressed. He doesn't have a great sense of time. He feels like he's been playing like shit for approximately three aeons, when actually he's been playing extremely well, and Ottawa is slowly but surely climbing the ranks.
When the plane crash happens, it lights a fire under Ilya's ass (much like Sochi 2014) and Ilya "fucking FUCK SAN FRANCISCO" Rozanov re enters the narrative. Which means he gets to the semis a year earlier than he would have already.
Ilya is only in Ottawa for two years and they land the wildcard spot in the playoffs, and knock out the number one seed in their division, conference and the whole fucking league, in round one.
This is rare. Not impossible but rare. Calgary did the same in 2004. That's about all i can say about 2004 without commiting an idictable offense, so instead, here is a picture of Calgary Flames captain and my husband, Hockey Jesus Jarome Iginla because this is my thread and I do what I want.
When people say Ilya lost hockey for Shane, they are not reading the book critically, or have not taken the time to learn at least a little bit about fucking NHL hockey. Ilya has only missed play offs for I think two seasons. That is unprecedented for a team at the bottom of the standings. Literally half the teams in the league miss the playoffs every year. And the third year he's with Ottawa they go to round two.
I am very tired of the narrative that either Ilya or Shane have to give up hockey or their career or their legacy for each other.
Hockey is not the team you play on. Connor McDavid is the greatest player active now - yes better than Sid or Ovi, though not better than them in their prime. He plays on a not great team.
Jarome Iginla played for the Flames for 16 years and was hailed as the greatest player of his generation. He had his number retired by the Flames, was selected for the Hockey Hall of Fame the first year he was eligible, had all three of his kids play good enough hockey to be drafted by the NHL and the PWHL, and is still considered one of the greats by players and fans everywhere.
He never won a cup. But his legacy has not been tarnished by playing for a not so great team.
Frankly, going to Ottawa is the dream for both Shane and Ilya because playing on the same line in their fucking prime?
In the GCU, where the NHL isn't rigged and the Cup is decided by skill?
Barring season ending injuries, that cup isn't leaving Ottawa for the next seven years AT LEAST.
Rozanov, Dykstra and Chouinard on the PK? They'll never be able to touch another player again, no team wants that line on the ice, even if the opposing team has the man advantage.
Hollander, Rozanov, Barrett, Haas and Boodram on the PP? No team will ever play dirty against them, and give them the man advantage.
That team is so GOATed all other team's defensive lines including the goalies are all going on strike. They're calling Etsy witches for curses. They're finding snotty kids to cough on the Centaurs in the tunnel and praying they catch the flu.
Without divine intervention, no one is beating that team ever again.
Shane and Ilya gained EVERYTHING by going to Ottawa. Shane will get his seven cups. Ilya definitely gets at least three more dogs from Harris.
So this week, lets talk about everyone's favourite topic: Financial Shenanigans of the Rich and Famous(?)
That's right, it's the boring math thread no one was asking for:
"How To Get Around The Salary Cap When You Want to Sign a Generational Talent But You Already Signed His Generational Talent Husband"
Spoilers for The Long Game; they're minor and hey, the title reveals most of them.
CANON EVENT YOU NEED TO KNOW:
COVID did not happen in the GCU, so I am basing Salary Cap increases on the 2mil increase seen year over year prior to COVID.
NHL SHIT YOU NEED TO KNOW:
1. The NHL salary cap is a hard cap, that is, its the same for every team and cannot be fucked with.
2. The cap increases by about 2 million every year
3. Performance bonuses do apply to the cap, but they apply the next year. Signing bonuses apply the year the contract is signed.
4. All players starting in the NHL start with an Entry Level Contract (ELC). The length of this contract is based on your age when you are signed. If you sign between 18 and 21, it's three years long. That amount is standardized. However, you don't sign an ELC when you're drafted, you sign it when you actually join the NHL. If you're in the farm teams, you don't sign an NHL contract. Teams can draft players with potential who need more development but pay them less.
Assumptions I have made:
1. Ilya and Shane are paid the same amount, and are the highest paid players in the league.
2. Shane and Ilya signed extensions after their ELC ended, but Ilya signed for 5 yrs, while Shane signed for 7, thus Ilya is UFA before Shane.
3. Ilya and Shane had No Movement Clauses and No Trade Clausezs which is why they were both unsigned by their respective teams when they were UFA, and also somehow not traded.
4. Troy is a Big Deal, and wasn't cheap.
5. Wyatt was cheap because he was TO's back up goalie, but that contract is up and Wyatt deserves to make bank, because he's been incredible in Ottawa
6. Bood's new Salary is high, but not higher than Ilya or Troy.
7. Luca's ELC is still active, but will be up soon. Ottawa will want to keep him, but he's gonna be pricey.
Abbreviations:
UFA: Unrestricted Free Agent
RFA: Restricted Free Agent
ARE WE READY FOR SOME NUMBERS?!
Pictured: year by year salary caps.
The GCU Salary Cap in 2021 is 83.5mil, based on a 2mil increase year over year.
Centaur Salaries and why I chose them, by position:
CENTRES
Ilya: 12.5mil. This is what Connor McDavid makes. In 2018 he was the highest paid player in the NHL. Also, if Ilya signed his initial extension in 2013, the year his ELC was up, he would have been paid 9.5mil, (Ovechkin's salary, highest paid at the time). This significant increase is why Boston couldn't re sign him; they didn't have the cap space.
Boyle: (second line centre, maybe?) 4mil. Based on what middling centres are paid. He's the current second line, but he isn't very good. This is why Ottawa needs depth at centre.
Holmberg: (rookie, and I am just sticking the rookies wherever): 925k, he's on an ELC. It's not clear of he's any good, so who knows? He may not be re signed
4th line centre: 1mil. This might be generous.
WINGERS
Troy: 9.5mil. Troy was chosen for the All Star team in 2019, and is referred to as a superstar. He's at least worth the same as Nikita Kucherov. And Ottawa would have taken on his entire salary, even if TO wanted him gone fast, in order for Ottawa to get him for a couple draft picks. Salary retention is a thing I can discuss in the comments if anyone asks.
Bood: 8.3mil. Bood is well liked in the room, plus he's the A. He's at least worth a Tkachuk. This is the big raise Shane refers to
Dillon: 3mil. Dillon is not very good, but they had him on the first line for awhile, so he's not the worst.
Luca: 925k, but that's because he's still on an ELC. As Shane says, Luca is gonna be worth real money in a couple years. I'm putting his extension at 7.75mil, the same that Andrei Svechnikov signed for after his ELC. This is probably low, but Luca is an RFA after his ELC is up so he has to let Ottawa offer for him first, and give them the opportunity to match offers, and they likely will.
Young & LaPointe: Rookies, 925k each, ELC. Again, unclear if they'll be re signed, or when their ELCs are up
2 additional wings, 1.5mil each
DEFENSE:
Dykstra and Chouinard: 5mil each. Ottawa doesn't seem to have a defense problem, just a shit goalie, so their defense pairs are likely paid well
4 additional dmen: 1mil each
GOALIES:
Wyatt: 7mil new contract.
Great couple seasons. I am thinking Wyatt is definitely worth what Marc Andre Fleury made in 2021.
Back Up Goalie: 1mil.
SUBSTITUTES:
Every team has the ability to have 23 active players on it's roster. Let's assume that Ottawa has three rando subs (not including the BUG) worth 800k each.
IF YOU DO THE MATH
Based on what everyone is currently paid, there actually IS cap space for Shane; the remaining cap for Ottawa is 14.1mil. If they pay Shane what they pay Ilya, they still even have almost 2mil left.
But Shane has seen the way Luca performed this season, and knows Luca is gonna be worth A LOT. I put him at 7.75mil, and that's a reasonable projection. Which leaves Ottawa with 6.35mil in their cap.
Shane is worth WAY more than that.
Even if Luca's ELC isn't up for two years, and the 2mil raise for those two years is dedicated to Luca, Ottawa can't afford Luca, and still pay Shane what he's worth.
Here are some options the Centaurs could use:
1. They could drop their three randos and pray to god no one every gets scratched from the roster due to a short term injury, or put any injuries on Long Term Injured Reserve. A team must have 20 players available to play, so the first is needlessly reckless.
A player on LTIR doesn't count towards cap space, but abusing the LTIR is frowned upon. It happens, but it's gross.
2. The Centaurs can put one of their pricier centres on waivers, or trade him for future draft picks. Shane would be replacing that player anyway. Waivers free up cap space by either sending the player to the minors, making them available for trade, or terminating their contract. Boyle, my presumed second line centre, is a likely choice, freeing up 4mil in cap space.
I assume Ottawa goes with choice #2.
That leaves us with 10.35mil available for Shane. Which is still about 2mil less than Shane is worth.
2mil seems small, but Shane just won a cup, he's a generational talent, he's the best player in the league. He's older, 30, but we only know of one significant injury, the concussion when he 26. Shane is still in his prime, but this contract he's about to sign should carry him to retirement. He's likely looking for a seven year contract.
Enter signing bonuses
The Centaurs can sign Shane for 10.35mil, but in his first year, when they have that extra cap space, they can give him a nice big signing bonus, about 4mil, which brings him up to about the same as Ilya over two years.
If Shane only signs a five year contract, at his next signing, Shane can start signing year over year with performance bonuses, because Shane will be over 35, and that's when performance based bonuses are back on the table after your ELC expires.
What are performance bonuses?
Exactly what they sound like. Bonuses tied to how you play. They're usually offered to players who are close to retirement.
This year, Alex Ovechkin signed a one year contract with the Capitals. He signed for exactly what he always made, but its assigned differently now. His base salary is only 1mil, but he has a sogning bonus of 3.25mil, and, more importantly, he has a performance bonus of 4.75mil
Pictured: Ovi's contract
Perfomance bonuses do hit the cap, but not til the next year, when the cap increases anyway.
If Ovi doesn't meet his performance conditions, he doesn't get the bonus. And if he DOES meet the conditions, but retires, he gets paid out of the cap space his retirement clears up.
Additionally, when Shane's 5 year contract is up, in 2026, the cap jumps significantly. It's 104mil. Those perfomance bonuses can be pretty huge. And you know Shane has never met a perfomance he can't handle.
Also, they can include in Shane's new contract non movement clauses and no trade clauses, which are good bonuses to have when you're preparing to settle down. And he gets to cement his legacy, and play on the same team as Ilya, which he's dreamed about, and he's able to openly love Ilya with the full support of his team, coaches and Admin.
If you want me to talk more about waivers or free agency or salary retention please just ask.
Because I'll do anything to avoid thinking about enforcers and 2011.
At the end of TLG, Shane has every right to be angry. His legacy was attacked by fans and journalists. People had the nerve to question his dedication to the sport and his commitment to winning. People had the nerve to imply he would EVER throw a game.
Shane is canonically angry at the end of the book because of the shit people are talking and the way Montreal as an organization are treating him.
And I cannot wait for the first games Shane plays against Montreal with Ilya. I hope they are points bloodbaths and Ottawa penalty light. I hope Montreal goes stupid and gets a ton of penalities, and the PP Line of Hollander, Rozanov, Haas, Bood and Barrett just DECIMATES them.
Montreal definitely treated Shane like shit and Shane is enraged and has every right to be. I hope no one thinks i don't think that, because i do. Which is one of the many reasons I'm glad Shane tells them "Bye Bitches."
Shane made that fucking team. They hadn't made the playoffs in three years before drafting him, they won three cups because of him, and I hope the Centaurs SocMed Admin remind Montreal of that constantly every time Shane plays there until Ottawa gets the four cups they absolutely deserve. Shane took a lot of hits because the NHL and Montreal are racist and homophobic, and I have not forgotten a single one.
But Shane doesn't take a pay cut to go to Ottawa. At all.
I have done the math, I have explained the reasoning. I can't keep repeating that. So I won't
He probably left a shit ton of money on the table, though.
Time for Puck Talk With an Unhinged Loon!
Today we're gonna talk about...
UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENCY.
What it is, how it's used in the books, and what chaos would have arisen when Shane decided to become an Unrestricted Free Agent.
Because who doesn't like an internet-based appendix to a romance novel?
Free Agents in the NHL are players who have reached the end of their contracts. Restricted Free Agents may take offers from other teams, but must allow the team who held their last contract the opportunity to match those offers.
In the NHL, you're a restricted free agent if you're under 27 or have played in the NHL for less than 7 years.
Basically, the team that chose you first and put a lot of work into developing you as a player has the right to try and keep you.
Unrestricted Free Agents are players over 27 with more than 7 years in the NHL whose contracts have ended.
Despite the role UFA plays in the GCU, it's actually fairly rare for a good, unproblematic player to enter Unrestricted Free Agency. If your team doesn't want to re sign you because you aren't very good or haven't lived up to your potential, they'll either trade you or put you on waivers, which essentially ends your contract and frees up their cap. And if you're more trouble than you're worth, they'll do the same.
Cattle, remember. The NHL is terrible.
UFA is pretty terrifying, because if your contract isn't picked up, boom. You're unemployed. Say bye to the show, maybe a minor league will sign you, TTFN.
HOWEVER.
If you're a franchise player - the face of the team - it's pretty much unheard of that you'll go UFA.
Your team is going to work it's ass off to try and keep you signed if they want you, or they're gonna try and get some bang for their buck and trade you if you say you won't re sign.
Even franchise players are cattle.
THE NHL IS GARBAGE.
The only way to avoid being traded in this circumstance is to have an No Trade Clause or Non Movement Clause. Which Ilya and Shane, as franchise players, absolutely would have had.
Only a player can waive an NMC/NTC.
LORE BREAK.
My guess is, Boston didn't ask Ilya to waive his NTC because they hoped against hope he would take a deal with them. When Ottawa and it's giant cap space offered Ilya 3mil more, Boston accepted he was leaving. Gracelessly, and the fans never forgave him. But Ilya knew he wanted to leave, so I'm sure the locker room and admin were fine until the end. Ilya didn't leave because things were bad in Boston.
Shane, however...
In TLG, one of the biggest signs shit has gone very wrong in Montreal is Shane hasn't signed a new contract by the time playoffs roll around.
BACK TO LORE.
SIDNEY CROSBY ENTERS THE CHAT.
Cuz hockey lore isn't fun without Stern!Hockey!Daddy
Pictured: THIS BITCH (affectionate)
Sidney Crosby is one of a couple players whose career is analogous with Shane's. Canada's Golden Boy, the Greatest Hockey Player Of All Time, bilingual, skating since toddlerhood, born to be on the ice.
One of the ways in which their careers are very different is that Crosby's early career especially was plagued by serious injuries, and Crosby missed close to three full seasons due to a concussion, a neck injury, and a broken jaw.
I bring this up because, despite the fact that it was super unclear if Crosby was going to have to retire early, the Penguins never once let him lapse into free agency, and signed him to a 12 year contract not long after he recovered from the neck injury.
Even while missing most of a season, Crosby was (and is) one of the best players in the league.
LORE BREAK
Shane is the greatest player of all time in the GCU. Everyone agrees, even Ilya. He's not just a franchise player, he's a hockey legend.
There is no way Montreal lets Shane lapse into free agency unless Shane is refusing to sign, or Montreal admin doesn't want him back. And if it was Montreal admin, they would have been pressuring him daily to waive his NTC/NMC.
We can assume that it's not because Shane is thinking of moving to Ottawa, because that doesn't even get mentioned til Trip!Gate, so it's not like Shane has thought that he and Ilya should try to be on the same team.
No, the locker room and team culture have gotten toxic. Maybe they always were. Maybe it started when Shane came out. We don't know because we don't get a lot of Shane dealing with Montreal in TLG. Most of Shane's POV reflects on his relationship with Ilya, not on hockey, which is also telling, because quite a lot of HR was Shane reflecting on hockey.
I do hope we get to see more of this in Unrivaled, Shane reflecting on his time in Montreal and why he left. For now, we can only wonder.
For those who think I agree with everything RR has done, she really should have explained this better in the books. I think seeing more of Shane's issues in Montreal might have gone a long fucking way to explaining why he decided to leave Montreal.
Because let me be so fucking clear.
There is no way Montreal would have let Shane lapse into Free Agency. He's too valuable.
Even if Montreal hates him, and thinks he's ruined the locker room, they would have pressured him hard to waive the NTC.
HARD.
PLEASE NEVER FORGET. THE NHL DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE PLAYERS.
Shane is the greatest player of all time. Even if Montreal wanted him gone, they would have wanted to trade him and get players and draft picks and like, so much shit because Shane is 100% worth it.
So no. Montreal didn't tell Shane to fuck off. Shane told Montreal he was out. Shane told Montreal to get fucked.
Shane chose to leave and it's so important people realize that Shane made that choice of his own free will.
So. Why do I think Shane left a ton of money on the table?
BACK TO LORE.
ALEX OVECHKIN ENTERS THE CHAT.
Ovechkin is one of the players whose career is analagous with Ilya's, but in this particular conversation, it's also analagous with Shane's.
Because unlike Crosby, Ovechkin has lapsed into free agency exactly once.
This year.
And that wasn't cuz the Capitals wanted that to happen.
Pictured: THIS OTHER BITCH (affectionate)
Ovechkin is turning 41 in September, and unlike Crosby, his career has not been plagued with serious injuries, until the most recent season, when he lost a large chunk of the early season to a broken tibia.
From all accounts, this kinda fucked him up. Having never been hurt seriously, and having reached a fairly old age for an NHL player, he was seriously considering retirement, because he has stated repeatedly that he wants to leave the league when he's still healthy.
I don't know how much HR folks pay attention to hockey news, but Ovechkin's possible retirement was the source of endless speculation, especially when the Caps said they'd gladly sign Ovechkin again, because the Caps know Ovi is their whole personality.
Ovechkin said he would decide when free agency started. And hockey fans would not shut the fuck up about the possibility that Ovi would retire or maybe *gasp* move teams.
It's me. I'm hockey fans.
LORE BREAK.
Alex Ovechkin - a truly great player, but a player nearing the end of his career - choosing free agency was big news.
I need you to magnify that by about 1000%. Like, Beatlemania. The Fall of The Berlin Wall. The Sack of Troy.
That is the way every fucking person involved with the NHL would have been reacting to Shane remaining unsigned and untraded by Montreal prior to April 12, 2021, which was that year's trade deadline.
Shane. Fucking. Hollander approaching free agency with no contract in sight?
SHANE. FUCKING. HOLLANDER. AT 30. IN THE PRIME OF HIS CAREER.
SHANE HOLLANDER, WHO WON THE CUP LAST YEAR?
SHANE HOLLANDER, THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME?!
The blogs. The instas. The hockey toks and hockey twits. Every sports mag, sports pundit and NHL fan would be LOSING THEIR FUCKING MIND.
(SHORT LORE: Hockey contracts and their expiry dates are public knowledge. EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYTHING. LORE OVER).
In April- ish, when Shane tells Farah to find him a deal, and she starts shopping him to teams?
Literally every team is immediately making cap space to give Shane ANYTHING HE WANTS.
"Shane Hollander can have anything he wants" except it is League-wide and definitely includes ginger ale AND the hot bartender. ALL THE HOT BARTENDERS.
Does Shane want more gay representation? EVERYONE IS GAY NOW. GET GAY FUCKERS BECAUSE SHANE HOLLANDER IS AVAILABLE AND WE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
Does Shane want to never relocate? NTC, NCM, HERE IS THE DEED TO MY HOUSE AND ALSO MY PASSPORT.
Egregious amounts of money? WE WILL FIND THE MONEY.
Captaincy? SURE. WE DIDN'T LIKE THAT OTHER GUY ANYWAY.
Signing Bonus? HERE IS THE OWNER'S FIRSTBORN. OR A HORSE. A CAR. A HOUSE. THE CITY. WHATEVER IT TAKES.
Ottawa has the cap space to pay Shane what they pay Ilya, but not much more.
Other teams might have had more money, but Ottawa has the only thing Shane really wants.
Ilya.
So Shane absolutely left the chance to be the highest paid player of all time, but in Vancouver or Seattle or like, Edmonton, on the table, and chose Ottawa to be with Ilya.
Shane chose Ilya. Over hockey. Over Montreal. And over absolute scads of cash.
Enforcers have always been a huge part of the NHL. Generally big (over 6' and 250lbs), kinda slow. Not necessarily the most skilled hockey players, but that's not why they're on the ice.
Enforcers are often fan favourites; they are usually the ones fighting, which fans enjoy. Pests draw penalties by annoying other players, grinders check hard to clear lanes, but enforcers show up and defend their team mates.
Enforcers are also the players most likely to suffer from advanced CTE at a young age, and show the most significant personality shifts as CTE advances. Getting punched in the face at least once per game, 82 times (or more) per year is gonna fuck you up a bit.
At least one enforcer (Marty McSorley) was charge with assault for on-ice actions when he hit Donald Brashear in the head and knocked him to the ice, causing Brashear a Grade 3 concussion.
McSorely was suspended after the incident. When he was found guilty of assault, the NHL extended his suspension to a full year - the longest for an on ice incident - and McSorely's contract expired in that time. He never played for the NHL again.
What McSorely did was terrible, but what is more terrible is the NHL and the MJHL promote a culture of on ice violence, then refuse to back their players when they "go too far," as if a player could even know what too far is.
In the film "Hello Destroyer," Tyson Burr (played by Jared Abrahamson) is a rookie in the WHL (the Western Canada Major Junior League), playing for the Prince George team. During a break in a game, the coach is screaming at the team to play harder, to fight, to beat the other team. It's violent, it's loud, it's a grown man screaming at a group of children whose lives he controls. On his next shift, Tyson performs a legal hit on a player that causes a severe injury.
Tyson is made to take full responsibility for the hit, claim it was done without anyone else's encouragement, and is suspended from the team indefinitely. The family he is billeted with kicks him out, the entire town turns on him, and the team voids his contract.
If the hit - which absolutely was clean - had not caused the traumatic injury, Tyson would have been hailed a hero, built himself a reputation, and gone on to the majors to do the same thing there while people chanted "BURR-Y HIM!"
In the film we see Tyson explaining that his parents used to play him music to drown out the ringing in his ears after a game. Tyson is shown to be gentle with the kids he's billeted with, and helpful around the house. He's quiet and kind.
The coach who spurred him into the hit rejects him. The team rejects him. The town rejects him. The family he's been told will take care of him rejects him.
Tyson is a boy being violent in a violent culture, but he's the only one punished for that.
The McSorely/Brashear incident occurred in 2000, and restarted a lot of conversations about violence on the ice. These conversations have always existed in pro men's hockey, and are never really addressed properly, and then just sort of die down until the next big incident.
Gary Bettman, the Piece of Shit commissioner of the NHL, has said as recently as 2013 that there will not be more rules about fighting in hockey, because no one involved - players, admin or owners - want more rules.
Why do I bring this all up?
To remind you pro hockey is terrible to the players it treats like meat.
Some GCU fans think Fabian is toxic for "making" Ryan quit hockey.
Let me be so. Fucking. Clear.
Fabian probably saved Ryan's life. I am not being hyperbolic.
In Tough Guy, Ryan is a mess. His back is fucked. He has near crippling anxiety about flying. He "freaked out" the previous season - had a panic attack while playing - and the medication he's taking to manage that is barely working.
He's never connected with any of his team mates because he's traded every season. He's not really seen his family in years because his flight anxiety is so high that short trips home are too much to deal with. He makes friends with Wyatt, only to have Wyatt traded to Ottawa.
When Ryan throws out his back over Christmas, the team doctor starts using toradol injections to get Ryan on the ice every game. Toradol isn't addictive, but Ryan is also on painkillers off the ice, likely opiates.
In addition to this, Ryan asks for sleeping pills because he's not sleeping well.
When Duncan Harvie dies, Ryan is forced to reckon with a possible future. Harvie has been battling opiate addiction for some time. He's not connected with his family; his parents are dead and his sister apparently didn't attend the funeral. The only players are Ilya and Ryan. No one who's on Duncan's team bothers to attend, and they could have, because Duncan's funeral is during the bye week for All Stars.
The Duncan Harvie story is very, very real. Several enforcers have died either by suicide or by accidently mixing their painkillers with alcohol. Others have simply died in their sleep. Others retire, are lost after retirement, and fall into bankruptcy and homelessness. Others go back to their families and their families don't even recognize them because of the personality changes brought on by advanced CTE.
Their lives are brutal, often marked by depression and anxiety, and far too short.
Georges Laraque, a famous enforcer who played mostly for the Oilers, spoke of the role of enforcer like this:
"The worst part is never the fight itself, because the adrenaline kicks in and you don't feel the hits. The worst part was the night before, the day of the game, the constant pressure of knowing you would have to do it again. You couldn't enjoy a movie, or relax, because you were already preparing for the next fight."
Again I say this. Fabian saved Ryan's life.
The enforcer role is slowly being phased out of the NHL. There are still heavy hitters (Tom Wilson comes to mind) but the game is a lot faster now, and a slow skater whose only job is to punch people is a pretty expensive resource in the hard salary cap era.
But likely what has done the most to end the role is the 2011 off season.
This is the part that was giving me the most trouble, y'all, so please be patient, or protect yourselves and skip the next few paragraphs.
CW: Suicide. Death.
On May 13, 2011, after a long battle with substance use, Derek Boogaard, a beloved enforcer for the Wild and the Rangers, died by an accidental combination of oxycodone and alcohol.
Derek was a soft, shy and quiet man, according to his family, but his on ice nickname was The Boogeyman, because he terrified other players. That summer, he was in rehab for the second time, but was on a recess to see his sister graduate university.
He was 28 years old
His brain showed signs of advanced CTE
On August 15, 2011, after battling anxiety and depression, Rick Rypien, a well known enforcer for the Canucks, was found dead by suicide in his home in Coleman, Alberta.
Rypien had not struggled with sibstance use, but he'd had significant mental health struggles that began when he played in the WHL and his girlfriend died in a serious car accident as she was driving to see him play in Calgary. He never got over the guilt.
He was 27 years old.
His brain showed signs of advanced CTE
On August 31, 2011, Wade Belak, a famous enforcer who had recently retired, was found dead in a hotel in Toronto. His death was ruled a suicide, but his family maintains it was accidental.
Wade was well liked by everyone in his life and was known to be charming, witty, and gregarious. However, Belak suffered from depression, and had been on anti depressants for about five years prior to his death.
He was 35. He had two young children.
His brain showed signs of advanced CTE
Other Enforcers who died too young include:
Steve Montador - sudden death in his sleep. He had 4 concussions in 12 weeks but was cleared to play apparently against medical advice. I guess coaches and admin just don't know how to say "no, fuck you, go home." He was showing signs of CTE, including memory loss and personality changes. He was 35.
Claude Lemiuex - suicide, after struggling with depression. Three days before his death, he carried the torch into Centre Bell at a Canadiens game. His family donated his brain to be studied for CTE. He was 60.
John Kordic - died of pulmonary failure after police subdued him. He had been struggling with alcohol addiction. John's fiancee said "he didn't want to fight. He HAD to fight to play hockey." He was 27.
Todd Ewen - suicide, after struggling with depression and CTE. He was 49.
Bob Probert - heart failure, after struggling with addiction and depression. His brain showed signs of CTE. He was 45.
Chris Simon - Suicide, after struggling with CTE. He was 52.
Like many of the men I just discussed, Ryan is described as gentle, shy, and quiet. In juniors, he's the only hockey player that Fabian's family billeted who wasn't unkind or dismissive towards Fabian, and actually attends Fabian's graduation recital while Fabian's family goes to his sister's hockey game.
Ryan has come to hate hockey but - like many pro players who are on the fringes - Ryan knows he's lucky to be in the pros. Getting to the show ain't easy, but he's made it.
Ryan's been playing professionally since he was 17 - The Major Junior leagues in Canada are paid leagues. He was also attending high school at the time, but many players end up dropping out.
Ryan doesn't know how to do anything else. He hasn't really ever had the option of exploring it. And hockey has made him relatively wealthy.
Walking away from something he used to love that paid him well, to do absolutely nothing, is terrifying.
Fabian not only makes Ryan see he's worth more than his fists, he offers Ryan a soft place to land, a group of adoring friends, and a purpose for living, so Ryan can walk away from something that no longer serves him with no regrets.
Maybe Ryan starts coaching. Maybe he goes to university and gets an education degree (although the CTE he no doubt has a head start on might make that difficult). Maybe he never does anything ever again but lug Fabian's equipment on tour across Canada.
But whatever happens, never doubt for a second that Ryan made the right decision to leave.
Everyone say "Thank You Fabian!" for saving our favourite hot lumberjack/viking
CLIMB HIM LIKE A TREE FABIAN, YOU FUCKING EARNED IT.
If anyone knows the artist for this picture, please tag them, TikTok dragged me all over without giving a name
THIS IS A PART TWO OF A TWO PART THREAD ABOUT TLG AND UNRIVALED. AS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, SPOILERS ABOUND
Part Two:
Do You Want Romance or Do You Want Reality, Because You Can't Have Both: Shane's Legacy
(Part one found here:)
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 1 · SPOILERS FOR TLG FOLLOW.
This is the first part of a two part post because this one got away from me, and is crazy long
Let's do the discourse.
And you're not going to like it.
My bonafides for this discussion:
1. Long term dedicated observer of NHL hockey.
2. Casual observer of pop culture, specifically sports scandals in relation to this thread.
3. Person who lives in this shitty, stupid, racist world.
LET'S FUCKIN GOOO.
First of all, we need to establish some simple realities about the GCU.
1. Shane and Ilya are the main characters. The GCU begins (2008) and ends (Unrivaled) based on their story.
2. Shane and Ilya have a joint path, but different tales. Ilya's is found family. Shane's is the hero's journey. The hero starts out strong, loses everything, and returns home changed for the better. I mention it now because people need to understand that adversity isn't about punishment, it's about growth.
3. There was always supposed to be a seventh book; RR thought she would write about Luca but couldn't and cancelled it. Since Luca is a Centaur, I assume Shane and Ilya's story would figure prominently as well. But now we get Unrivaled instead and I for one am so happy.
4. The GCU is set in a slightly better version of the NHL, but it's still, specifically, the NHL, and has all the rules that govern the NHL universe, like salary caps.
5. We know the villain is the NHL, and if we don't know that already GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. But it's also going to be a shitty podcast, and conservative fan movement.
6. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY it will be covering how Shane feels about the changes, about not being captain, about leaving the legacy he built in Montreal, and his friends. So like, can we all fucking chill on that? She knows. We will get that story.
But I fear many fans will never be happy. Because Unrivaled will only be covering that first year, and this is still a romance.
My guess is, the podcasters and the cons will be endlessly discussing Tripgate, but through the magic of analytics and the sheer power of the GOATed Centaurs, they will all have to grudgingly admit that Shane is the greatest player to have ever played the game. This happens because they win the cup in 4 4-game sweeps, and every team will say "Jesus we had no chance" and Montreal admin will come crying and beg Shane to retire his jersey or something.
I'm being hyperbolic.
I do think Shane will have his legacy restored somehow because as I have stated, that's the only thing in question after Tripgate.
This is a romance novel, and therefore legacy restoration in a single season isn't unrealistic. We're promised that HEA, and frankly I demand it because I have read and watched enough depressing queer stories.
But a lot of people want this story to be more real. More like what they want to happen in real life, or what would actually happen in real life. They want Shane's redemption in a way that categorically retores him to his previous state and fixes all the ways they feel he's been wronged.
I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this:
That will never happen.
Once again I will ask you. Do you want romance or do you want reality? Because you can't have both, on a deeply fundamental level.
I have said many times, you need to know hockey to truly understand these books. Rachel Reid is a Canadian. She lives hand in hand with hockey every day, and has all her life.
I cannot fully explain how completely intertwined hockey is with Canadian culture.
Once of our most beloved children's books is The Hockey Sweater by Roch Carrier.
In 4th grade, our novel study was Mice At Centre Ice. The Mice play the Rats for the Cheddar Cup. The mice are very clearly the Montreal Canadiens, and the Rats are very clearly the Boston Bruins, and no one needed that explained because WE LIVED IN CANADA.
Degrassi has a whole bunch of storylines about a MJHL team.
Bon Cop Bad Cop is about hockey. A lot of our movies involve hockey, a little.
I hadn't watched NHL hockey in 22 years when I watched Heated Rivalry, and the second the sports commentators started talking about Shane i said to my friend Tavin, "Is he supposed to be Sidney Crosby?" Because even as a person adamantly not watching NHL hockey, I KNOW WHO SIDNEY CROSBY IS. BECAUSE I'M CANADIAN.
Hockey is such a part of Canadian culture, a lot of Canadians know more about hockey than they ever realized, and probably didn't think twice about the storylines in Heated Rivalry or the GCU because they... just made sense.
I PERSONALLY didn't think about them until I read all the ruminating online.
That's why I knew that Trip!gate was bullshit.
That's why I knew Ilya was 100% recognized in Ottawa but the fans kept their mouths shut.
That's why I knew Fabian saved Ryan's life, and wasn't some manipulative bastard.
That's why I knew Ottawa was a lateral move for Shane, an upgrade for Wyatt, and a punishment for Troy. Even though they're all going TO THE EXACT SAME TEAM.
That's why i knew coming out would be politically dangerous for Ilya til he got his Permanent Residency Card, but he'd be fine after.
And I knew coming out would always, ALWAYS, damage Shane's career.
In case I haven't made it abundantly clear, the NHL and the culture around it are terrible. It's a disgusting stew of toxic masculinity, racism, and homophobia.
Shane isn't white, and he's the greatest hockey player of all time. And the good ol' hockey boys fucking hate that.
The pundits
The journalists
The commentators
The coaches
The owners
The fans
When Shane is outed, they finally have proof! Shane didn't win those three cups, his pansy boyfriend fixed games for him!
Never mind that Ilya and Shane only played each other four times a year in an 82 game season. Those four games were DECISIVE (they weren't). And when the playoffs happened? Obviously they decided who would win each round! Never mind that they would only have ever played one round against each other per season. Never mind Montreal dominating in every other series, or posting the most points over all, or ranked highest in the league.
It wasn't Hollander being good. It was Hollander cheating.
So. Romance or Reality?
Cuz in Romance? The Hockey Apostles, led by Gay Hockey Jesus Scott Hunter, use the power of friendship and rainbows (and social media I guess) to bring about meaningful change in the NHL.
In Reality? The NHL institutes Pride Nights, then bans Pride Tape, then reinstitutes Pride Tape, but changes Pride Nights to Hockey Is For Everyone, so they don't have to openly welcome LGBTQIA players, and risk losing their audience in conservative Eastern European countries.
In Romance? Dallas Kent is arrested, goes to trial and goes to jail.
In Reality? The Hockey Canada 5 are shuffled back into the pro leagues.
Romance? Crowell makes a public apology, steps down, and is replaced by someone new and energetic who knows The Queers are the future
Reality? Bettman never steps down, and when he dies he will be replaced with his clone.
Romance? Shane's legacy is restored, he tells Montreal to kick rocks, retires when he's 40 with ten cups under his belt and has 17 movies made about him.
In reality? Shane's legacy will never be fully restored. Ever.
Let's get depressing.
Match-fixing, for people who don't watch sports, is the process by which people directly involved in a game (athletes, refs, coaches) do something to create a predetermined winner, usually for gambling purposes.
Hilariously, there aren't any known accusations of match fixing in the NHL because everyone knows THE STANLEY CUP FINALS ARE RIGGED.
Through officials making calls that favour the chosen winner, and GMs benching key players to give the chosen team an advantage, the playoffs have been predetermined by Gary Bettman since 1994.
He decides which team needs a popularity boost, and that team wins the Cup. It can be for a variety of reasons, but usually to make hockey more popular in a chosen city, and by extension, boost revenues.
And everyone knows that not doing what Bettman asks is the end of your career.
One day we will talk about Game 6 2004. But not today.
Hockey is a team sport. One single player playing badly cannot decide an entire game.
So lets look at boxing instead.
This is going somewhere, i swear
Boxing is a sport where match fixing accusations run rampant. Probably the first ever match fixing accusation happened in boxing in, I kid you fucking not, 388 BCE, when Eupolus of Thessaly was accused of bribing his four opponents. They were all fined, so I guess they were all found guilty.
Let's go for something a little more contemporary, and also a little more complicated.
I bet you've seen this picture:
That is Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston, having just won a match in 1965 with a so called phantom punch.
Ali is literally yelling "get up!"
Both fights between Ali and Liston were accused of being rigged, but this was never proven.
Nor was it disproven.
The allegations followed Ali and Liston for the remainder of their careers, and are still being talked about now, by weirdos like me, to talk about the damage an unprovable allegation can do to a career.
You watched the video right? The video of the hockey players tripping?
I wanted you to take a couple things from that video.
One, as I already told you, is that people trip in hockey constantly, over nothing, for no reason at all.
The second is more important though.
Can you prove that any of the players who tripped without outside interference didn't do it on purpose?
What is your proof? How can you tell?
You can't. It's impossible.
That's the point.
In Romance? The definitive footage is found, it is absolutely proven Shane was tripped by a chuck of ice or a loose skate blade, or a fucking pixie, or even better, a team mate who was particularly shitty to Shane, and Shane is exonerated completely.
The podcasters, the pundits, the fans, everyone has to admit that they were wrong, Shane would never, they all apologize and resign from whatever they're involved in, Shane graciously forgives Montreal, Montreal retires his number, and Shane plays til he's 40, wins the Cup every year, and retires the All Time Greatest.
The Hockey Hall of Fame wait period is waived, he's inducted the summer he wins his last cup, (also winning MVP, both regular season and playoffs, joint w/Ilya), Ilya is inducted at the same time (wait period also waived due to Being Awesome).
The induction speech is given by that season's Rookie of the Year, who says he was inspired to keep playing hockey because Shane and Ilya coming out so bravely changed his life when he was 12.
In reality? Shane never fully puts the allegations to rest. He can't. Intentional tripping is impossible to prove or disprove. Shane is asked about the trip at every presser in Unrivaled, and it comes up from time to time for the rest of his career and is a whole fucking chapter in his unauthorized biography.
RR tried repeatedly to give us the romance ending.
Shane goes to Ottawa for Ilya! That's a romance HEA.
Okay but his career is attacked.
But! Ottawa is Good Now!
Not good enough.
Well Montreal and Boston weren't good but Shane and Ilya fixed them, and they can do it again, together!
Both of them should have never had to give up their draft teams.
Well okay, but Ilya wants to have a Canadian passport, so...
Yeah but he misses Russia.
Well, actually...
HE MISSES RUSSIA.
Okay well, hey! Now he and Shane can live together, and he has told Shane his greatest fear, that his depression will never go away, and Shane says "I love you regardless" and David tells Ilya that Ilya is a second son to him, and Ilya is so happy, and Shane knows their wedding song, and they have a dog and maybe get a cat!
Shane doesn't sacrifice enough! Ilya doesn't sacrifice enough! This is racist! This is xenophobic! This is...
An impossible situation.
You can have your romance HEA, or you can have your hard hitting realistic take on the NHL.
But you cannot have both.
If you want your real life take down, may I recommend We Breed Lions by Rick Westhead.
If you want a fictional, brutal takedown of hockey culture, may I recommend Beartown by Fredrik Backman (thank you for showing me this, @whenthebeebuzzed). TW: SA
If you want a tragic story of abuse in hockey culture, please Google Sheldon Kennedy NHL and also The Hockey Canada 5. TW: Sexual Assault, CSAM
But if you want queer joy and hockey in the same place, you should read the Game Changers Series. A series so honest about the NHL but so loving of hockey that I fell back in love with hockey as well, and want that for all of you.
RR imagines an NHL better than the real one, but in the end, it is still the NHL. You need to live with the fact that your ideas of redemption are simply not feasible within the confines of that world.
Shane will not be going back to Montreal. That is a step backwards for him.
Montreal will probably not forgive him, but the rest of the league probably will.
Shane will probably never have the C, but he'll get the A, and he, Ilya and Bood will create a locker room culture so accepting that soon it's adopted across the league, because in RR's NHL? Things CAN get better.
But it's still the NHL. The C will never be anything but symbolic. The lines will never mean anything important.
Maybe the Centaurs are like the Pens, and the core group stays together forever til they all retire the same year.
Maybe Ilya retires first so they can adopt, or maybe they adopt and hire a nanny that travels with them on the road and they raise their child on the rink.
Or maybe they're happy after three cups and retire early so they can start a family. But whatever the Fairytale NHL becomes, the metrics non hockey fans seem to be applying to a "good" ending will never matter.
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"im not saying feminism is for everyone but-" the fuck? well im saying that. feminism is for everyone. yes even cishet men will benefit from feminism and cishet men should be feminists because cishet men are indeed harmed by the patriarchy; nowhere near to the extent that women are, but having a culture that is fully equal and anti-misogynist benefits everyone. have we forgotten that lifting up the disenfranchised people in society helps all of us as a collective? "im not saying that universal and unalienable human rights are for everyone but-" YES THE FUCK THEY ARE LOL
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