Schrödinger's Unsee It or Not!

Who’s up not accidentally sending people documents titled “legbutt month” this fine 8:30pm?

My favorite part of [REDACTED] is sometimes I'm forced to gently convince an Important Person that one cannot "win" an emergency. Confront, yes. Solve, yes. Win, no.

Everyone is always jealous of my bug bite that gets itchy at 1:00 AM specifically.

Trump should man up and take a MoCA live on air. Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to ask that he do more than say he can identify a drawing of a giraffe? Is it too much to ask that he identify a drawing of a giraffe live on air? And count backwards by sevens.

Join our progressive tsunami or be flattened by it. And uplifted against your will and such.

*Sickos voice* Yes… Ha Ha HA… YES!

I hope a dog gets elected mayor of California or whatever.

I’ve unlocked the secret of the sixteen-hour workday and the secret is: tired.

You ever have like a really long day and see a scrap of cellophane and wonder for a second if it isn’t cellophane? Could it be crystal slime from a slug? The kind of slug that makes crystal slime. You don’t want to pick that up, not barehanded. You could get crystal slime disease.

Gotta say as someone who normally commands a solid response, cold contacting people who are like naaah or 🪦 is hurty. Don’t you nobodies know I’ve earned a high degree of respect and authority entirely unrelated to this? I’m an expert. Hey.

I’m a fun companion for watching movies and TV because whenever a character driving a car turns to look at who they’re talking to I bellow “EYES ON THE ROAD!”