do not speak to me of dragon fire

i've ran out of which could mean nothings. i think this just might mean everything

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

Y'all. "Hell is empty and the devil's are here" is not one of those epic Tumblr quotes. It's from The Tempest. The Shakespeare one.

remember when that furry post went around with "you have nothing to lose but your chains" and people were saying "this is such a raw ass line and it's from a furry post" but it's literally karl marx

reading waiting for godot for class and finding out that’s where that “that’s how it is on this bitch of an earth” meme is from ruined me i think

new game: "classic or shitpost?" in which we give you a raw-ass quote and you have to determine whether it came from an internet shitpost or classic literature

"I will face god and walk backward into hell" that one on the other hand is actually from a dril tweet

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

This is and always will be my favorite Tumblr post of all time.