#hijrah

Sudah sangat kita ketahui bersama, soal mencari ridha manusia itu melelahkan, karena manusia yang memiliki sifat hati yang gambang berubah, sesuai pada mau dan nafsunya.

Semoga, sabda Nabi ini bisa menjadi acuan kita dalam menjalani kehidupan, bahwa Nabi mengatakan

من التمس رضا الله بسخط الناس رضي الله عنه وأرضى الناس عنه، ومن التمس رضا الناس بسخط الله سخط الله عليه وأسخط عليه الناس.

major props to dev patel for showing that hey, you actually can make a movie about indians in a way that perfectly encapsulates the various cultures, mythologies, AND egregious political climate, while also highlighting indian people and giving them the recognition and respect they often don't recieve in western—OR bollywood—canon. now that we know it's possible (it always was) i want more! thanks!

A note on the sheer cultural diversity of the subcontinent

There is no realistic way for me to exhaustively examine the context of every South Asian transfeminized population (though believe me, I’d like to). As such, I’m going to limit my scope to India, but make a quick initial note about Pakistan and Bangladesh.

Pakistani transfeminized communities, according to my partner’s sisters who are in the community, do consider ‘hijra’ more derogatory than their Indian counterparts necessarily do and refer to themselves as part of the ‘khwaja sira’ community.

I have sadly not been able to speak to any transfeminine people from Bangladesh, but I have spoken to cis queers who have told me that they use ‘hijra’ in a manner similar to India.

If there are desi queers from those communities who would like to add their perspectives, please feel free to reblog. And for the South Asian communities I haven't mentioned (such as Sri Lanka), please feel free to add your perspectives too! I'm curious to hear from you all.

Etymology and Usage

‘Hijra’ in its meaning and usage amongst the cis is most similar to the word ‘naamard’ (NAH-murd). The ‘naa’ is prefixal, a negation akin to ‘non’, while ‘mard’ is the word for ‘man’. It is a way of unmanning a man, of calling him lacking in the essential quality of manhood, of labelling him, in spirit if not in body, impotent.

As such, you can see how it’s an implicitly third-sexing construction (even before you account for how these communities are explicitly third-sexed, denied the epistemic autonomy to be recognized as women and now third-sexed by law). When Nanda called them emasculated homosexuals, it was not far off from how Indian culture forcibly categorizes and marginalizes them.

Members of the community have told me about their frustration and anger at being referred to as such, even though the word has now become a term through which they organize the community and sometimes advocate for themselves, a political reality that does not inherently contradict their campaigns to be recognized as women, and allowed to self-ID as such. (Recall, the Indian government currently mandates legal third-sexing of the hijra: they must first obtain a “Trans Certificate” and be documented as a third sex before they initiate the process of being recognized as women—a process that is contingent on subjecting themselves to transmedicalist scrutiny and gatekeeping!)

Others, however, have pointed out to me that the term is undergoing a process of reclamation. The term ‘hijra’ has a certain degree of legibility in Indian society even as it is a pejorative with degendering and dehumanizing connotations. It is being reclaimed intracommunally, but also by allies who speak of them without the usual stigmatizing connotations that cis society has saddled the term with.

Even still, I have also been told that the manner in which cis and especially Western academics use the term in scholarship—and I’m quoting here—"makes me want to tear my skin out". The fictions of “recognized gender role in Indian society” and “oppressed only after colonialism” are further simplifications and fabrications that obfuscate the role South Asian ruling-class collaborators eagerly played in petitioning for those colonial-era laws, and ignore such easily available empirical evidence as the Manusmriti mandating punishments for anyone who sleeps with—ugh—“eunuchs”.

Conclusion

In sum, I’d liken the use of the word “hijra” as analogous to the usage of “queer” in the 90s, as a slur in the contentious, contextual process of being reclaimed. As Aruvi put it to me on Bluesky:

We cannot allow cis people to dictate the discursive and epistemic terms of transfeminine culture. At the same time, the term “hijra” still carries with it heavy baggage due to South Asian transmisogyny as well as the academic misrepresentations and epistemic extractivism that Western scholarship has subjected South Asian transfeminized demographics to.

If you want to know how best to use the term, try to do so without third-sexing, and without promulgating fictive ideas of South Asian cultures being “gender-expansive” and “recognizing more than two genders”. Erasing the marginalization of the hijra is endemic to the way the term is used in the West, and that must absolutely be combatted.

On a final, personal note, I also wish to clearly state that I do not reject the label ‘hijra’ because I consider myself essentially different from them. Many Indian (usually upper-caste) trans women wish to distance themselves from the hijra, as though reproducing our society’s disgust for them will spare them from the same fate. That is not an attitude I share, or wish to normalize. The hijra—both those who affirmatively identify with the term, and those who wish to distance themselves from it—are my sisters.

Bisa jadi target-target itu tertunda karena shalat yang sering ditunda-tunda atau khusyu' yang tak lagi ada. Dan bisa jadi pula, keberkahan waktu menjadi hilang sebab interaksi dengan Al-Qur'annya semakin jarang.

Yuk, perbaiki lagi kualitas shalatnya. Yuk, perbanyak lagi membaca Al-Qur'annya.

Kita usahakan menjadi hamba Allah yang bersegera ketika diseru. Kita usahakan menjadi hamba Allah yang dekat dengan Al Qur'an itu.

Semangat ya! Allah itu senang sekali dengan hamba-hamba-Nya yang terus berusaha memperbaiki diri.

Ukhtukum fillah,

I hate to see this from fellow queers in the global south. I get it, your “born this way” and “I can’t control that I’m not attracted to the opposite gender at all” narrative helps you gain some sort of conditional acceptance based on pity from a materially dangerous society. Rather than thinking of you as a deviant pervert, they can view you as helplessly sexually disabled instead. Or maybe it helps them accept queerness as something natural—which is what we want and is great for all of us without being dehumanising or infantilising, right?

The thing is, queerness may be perfectly natural however there is no evidence saying it’s bioessential. This palatable “born this way” narrative being pushed by the media has been what led to hijra communities (roughly, a culturally significant transfem umbrella) in South Asia being temporarily fairly accepted as a “third gender”, only to receive a recent wave of phobia towards “self-realised trans people” when the general public realised not all hijra-identified people are born intersex as previously believed by deliberately ignorant and bigoted idiots.

Socially, we know for a fact that gender is a human construct and as a result sexuality is a fluid concept. (Yes, this applies to everybody, even monosexuals that are settled in their identities for their entire lives, even if that makes you uncomfortable.) Relying on the censorship of the scientific facts only leads to conditional, limited and highly precarious acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community from larger society as well as divisive intracommunity conflicts and respectability politics that fracture the movement. [Exhibit A where the existence of bisexuals who identify as gay/lesbian (a historically consistent but stigmatised intersectional occurrence deliberately erased by the media) is suddenly the “reason” that homophobia exists; Exhibit B where the existence of trans endosex hijras (a historically consistent but stigmatised intersectional occurrence deliberately erased by the media) is the “reason” that intersexism towards hijras exists—Oh no! The straights realised we were sociopolitically double-crossing them to placate them and now they’ve gone back to mistrusting all of us!]

You might think contemporary label purity and the idea of “l’m only engaging in queer relations because I didn’t have a choice” serves you, a cis lesbian or gay man in the global south. But what about bisexuals that did still have an “option” to suppress their queerness and assimilate with straight society … but chose to follow their hearts and engage in queer relationships anyway? What about the bisexuals that are literally committed in visibly queer relationships alongside you? How is your agenda helping the bisexuals who can’t help that they’re queer, too? Or did you think “bisexual” is a synonym for “basically straight person that makes the rest of us look that way too when they associate with our gay/lesbian communities”? Are only monosexual lesbians and gay men deserving of their agency and freedom to love who they want in the global south?

You say in our part of the world “the distinction between lesbian and bisexual has real, material consequences”. Well, in my native language nobody even knows the word for “bisexual”, though anybody and even their grandmother in the village would recognise the universally prominent English terms “gay” and “lesbian”. In fact, the same conversion abuse is levied at any queer person; if anything, my long-term girlfriend and I coming out as bi (and painstakingly explaining what the hell “bi” even means) would probably put us in more danger of being sabotaged because our families will believe “there is still hope for us”—Is that the so-called “distinction” that is supposedly protecting queers in the global south? If I ever come out, I don’t care to reveal I’m bi and would rather say I’m a lesbian. I don’t particularly care if self-important netizens think bisexuals are somehow putting “the reals queers” in danger by “appropriating” (rather than literally embodying) globally significant queer identities—that have historically also belonged to bisexuals—whenever we’re literally trying to survive. And I’ve seen with my own eyes the kind of abuse bisexuals in our country face from their monosexual partners who falsely accuse them of cheating or threaten them to “pick a side”, but I guess “abuse and murder” are only wrong when you didn’t consciously “choose” queerness? The statistics of bisexuals being at comparitively higher life-threatening risk of intimate partner violence, poor health, substance use and poverty compared to monosexual peers don’t lie.

Biphobes are so incoherent. You say bisexuals have a choice (unlike the “real queers”, who don’t) and it’s some sort of privilege that bisexuals abuse by always choosing heteronormativity, but then bisexuals trying to engage in gayness/lesbianism (as they have always done) is obviously counterfeit for clout, some sort of new western invention, so these bisexuals should “use a different label”. (Which in itself sounds eerily familiar to how local phobes in my country talk about queerness itself—a figment of “western invention poisoning society”—but I rest my case.) However, judging from your own fears of being associated with “choice” narratives often applied to bisexuality (that you yourself are eagerly affirming), you reveal that even you are fully aware how dangerously those viewed as functionally bisexual are treated in the global south. Bisexuals are the ones who “think of queerness as a fun exclusive club rather than a real identity” and “are desperate to appear actually oppressed” so “they make up words like monosexism”, but there is an obvious inherent societal safety in claiming monosexual identity that lesbians and gay men are fighting tooth and nail to not share with bisexuals, deliberately blocking bisexuals from accessing this privilege. Queerphobes (hey! that includes you now!) claim sexuality is a choice because they want to punish people that, in their eyes, chose wrong. And instead of advocating for every person’s right to choose their own lifestyle, you’re saying “No! I’m one of the good ones! I swear!” If the “distinction” or separatism between bisexual and gay/lesbian (that is a fairly new, western phenomenon, actually) has indeed ever played a role in keeping a monosexual gay man/lesbian safe in my experience of the global south, it’s been at the selfish expense of further marginalising bisexuals.

Ego Yang Tak Mau Disalahkan:

Ustadz Fachruddin Faiz

Sering kali, manusia lebih condong mencari pembenaran daripada kebenaran. Inilah wujud ego yang enggan disalahkan, menolak untuk melihat kesalahan diri dan lebih memilih menyalahkan keadaan atau orang lain. Padahal, kesadaran akan kesalahan adalah langkah awal menuju perbaikan diri yang sejati.

Kita kerap menganggap dosa sebagai sesuatu yang jarang terjadi, padahal hakikatnya dosa bisa muncul setiap hari, bahkan setiap detik,baik melalui tindakan maupun pikiran yang tak terlihat. Karena itu, Nabi Muhammad SAW bersabda:

"Setiap anak Adam adalah pendosa, dan sebaik-baik pendosa adalah mereka yang bertaubat." (HR. Tirmidzi no. 2499).

Manusia memiliki dua sisi karakter: baik dan buruk. Yang membedakan seseorang bukan keberadaan keduanya, tapi bagaimana ia merespons godaan/ujian dalam hidup,apakah ia memilih jalan untik kebaikan atau tunduk pada hawa nafsu. Hidup ialah ujian terus-menerus, dan selama hayat masih dikandung badan, setan tidak akan berhenti menggoda. Namun Allah SWT bersumpah dalam hadits Qudsi:

“Demi kemuliaan dan keagungan-Ku, Aku akan terus mengampuni hamba-Ku selama mereka meminta ampun kepada-Ku.” (HR. Ahmad).

Para sufi mengajarkan dua langkah penting dalam perjalanan spiritual:

Takholi: mengosongkan diri dari sifat-sifat tercela melalui taubat dan muhasabah.

Takhali: menghiasi diri dengan akhlak dan amal kebaikan.

Begitupun juga dengan Ilmu yang baik pun tidak akan membawa manfaat bila dibarengi dengan jiwa yang buruk. Seperti kata Imam Malik:

“Ilmu adalah cahaya, dan cahaya Allah tidak diberikan kepada orang yang bermaksiat.” (diriwayatkan dari nasihat Imam Malik kepada Imam Syafi’i).

Diantara yang meredakan pahitnya ujian adalah keyakinan

"boleh jadi ujian itu menyelamatkan saya dari musibah lain yang lebih besar."

Diantara yang menguatkan ketika ditimpa ujian adalah ucapan

"Alhamdulillah, berarti ini bukti perhatian Allah kepada saya, dan melaluinya telah semakin berkurang jatah ujian dalam kehidupan saya yang telah ditetapkan dalam Lauh Mahfudz."

Ibnul Qayim Al Jauziyah berkata

"sesungguhnya ketika Allah menguji seorang hamba bukanlah untuk menghancurkannya tapi untuk melihat dan menguji seberapa sabar dia melaluinya seberapa ridho ia melaluinya bagaimana responnya jujur atau tidak keimanannya"

Yang dengannya Dia memvalidasi karena hendak menaikan derajatnya, memberinya pahala dan mengabukan doanya"

Bukankah kita sudah tau dan sering mendengar HR. Ibnu Majah

, "Jika Allah mencintai suatu kaum, maka mereka akan diuji. Barangsiapa ridho, maka ia akan mendapatkan ridho Allah. Barangsiapa marah, maka ia akan mendapatkan murka Allah."

Aku butuh seseorang yang bisa aku ajak berbicara tentang Maha Baik-Nya. Seseorang yang juga melihat setiap kejadian dengan menggali pesan apa yang hendak Ia berikan. Menyebutkan segala baik-Nya dalam setiap ketetapan yang Allah berikan kepada hamba-Nya. Seseorang yang juga mempercayai kehidupan bukan hanya sebatas tentang dirinya tapi juga mengalirkan kebaikan yang Allah ajarkan.

Aku butuh seseorang yang bisa aku ajak berbicara tentang indahnya melabuhkan cinta dan harap pada-Nya. Yang membuat manusia semakin terpacu untuk selalu membawa keikhlasan dalam kerja dan kebaikan. Yang tidak mudah menyerah dan kecewa apabila manusia lain memandang rendah dan mengabaikan kebaikannya. Sebab Ia menyakini, bahwa setiap niat baik dan kebaikan yang sudah dilakukan tidak pernah sia-sia.

Aku butuh seseorang yang bisa aku ajak berbicara tentang upaya-upaya dalam meraih cinta-Nya. Berbicara tentang apa-apa saja yang bisa kita lakukan untuk bisa hidup dalam keridhoan-Nya. Sama-sama memaksimalkan peran yang mungkin berbeda tapi tetap sama muaranya. Langkah-langkah yang akhirnya akan membuat kita semakin cinta dan dekat dengan-Nya.

Aku butuh seseorang yang demikian, yang melihat cintaku pada-Nya tidak dianggap remeh dan lawakan. Yang upayaku dalam meraih cinta-Nya bukan dianggap sok suci lagi dihinakan. Yang pembicaraanku tentang Rabb-ku ditimpali dengan antusias bukan malah dialihkan.