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Hey, quick reminder, aplatonic people are real and valid and welcome here. If you think they aren’t, kindly fuck off.
I’m not aplatonic, but I will always stand by my community, the aspec community, which includes aplatonics.
Context under the cut, warning for aplphobia
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Hello aros of tumblr!
If you happen to be aro and ace, you may have seen a new ace flag floating around. It look something like this:
NOTE: I had to significantly desaturate it to make this post accessible to photosensitive people! The original colours are very different but this is the general order of the stripes.
This was made by Instagram Black ace activist _aceingrace_ (see their profile here). The yellow stripe specifically stands for intersectionality and multiculturalism (plus joy), something that I think would be a nice addition to the aromantic flag (or any flag that doesn't have that, for that matter).
If you're wondering what was wrong with the original flag, it's the white stripe, which stood for "allosexual partners and allies", something that didn't sit right with many aces for obvious reasons.
Update: it seems that was not the case originally! Do check out the link someone kindly provided in the comments. Still, that is the Commonly Understood Meaning of the white stripe, for better or for worse.
Something similar is going on with the white stripe in the aro flag: it's defined as such:
the ‘platonic’ stripe - friendship/platonic and aesthetic attraction/queerplatonic relationships/family, the importance and validity of all non-romantic relationships and feelings and non-romantic forms of love etc.
That doesn't sit right with me as, without any shoutout specifying it's not a universal aro value and experience, it leaves aplatonic and loveless aros estranged from their own flag.
So I've made an attempt at a new aro flag. Here it is:
I wanted it to match the new ace flag so we finally have the same amount of stripes!
It is not meant to replace the original aro flag, but rather be displayed alongside it for those who find it meaningful.
I just need the community's feedback on what meanings to assign to each stripe! Please, if you're aro-spec, take a couple minutes to fill in the form.
If you're an ally please please please spread this around!
Hello, thank you for checking out this form! This is a survey to assign meanings to a new aromantic flag inspired by Instagram Black ace ac
Tagging some blogs for reach, please ask if you'd like to be removed!
@aromanticofficial @aroworlds @aromantic-official @our-aro-experience @our-arospec-experience @our-aroace-experience @aroallo-culture-is-archive @arospecawarenessweek @aro-polls @aro-and-trans-thoughts @aroaceqoutes @alloaroworlds @aro-culture-is @aroapl @aro-positivity @aro-pride-stuff @loveless-aro-culture-is @lovequeerblog @lovequeers @aspecpplarebeautiful @aspecpolls @a-spec-unity-blog @a-spec-community-issues @a-spec-tacular @aroacesafeplaceforall @our-queer-experience @queer-polls
Thank you!
whyyyyyy do so many people rightfully annoyed by "friends don't do that" and "no platonic explanation" stuff decide to hit back with the "oh do you not have real friends? you've never cared about a friend? you've never had an intense or devoted or physically intimate friendship? what the fuck is your problem?" rant. it pisses me off so much. speaking as a person who went a long time without friends because of my neurodivergence and other disabilities. i was on your side about "friends don't do that" being fucking annoying and wrong! but hearing the negative qualities you imply about friendless people would've fucked me up bad as a depressed autistic middle schooler. or as a half-bedbound college dropout. why are we acting like this is progressive. why.
potentially shocking statement here, but having friends or not (and, among people who do, having specifically intense and devoted and physically intimate friendships or not) is a fucking morally neutral thing. and not having relationships like that does not inherently make a person say the amatonormative stuff that started this whole argument! i don't kiss my friends, but that doesn't mean i'm going on a crusade that kissing is always romantic and never platonic! is that too difficult for you to believe? and if you can believe that, can you also believe that not participating in other aspects of friendships doesn't inherently give you amatonormativity brainrot, either? it's literally just like this:
[ID from alt: edited meme where a stick figure fires a beam, labeled "do you not have friends JFC WTF is wrong with you." The beam bounces off "shipper who will keep saying amatonormative bullshit no matter what you do," and instead, it hits "person who doesn't have friends who now knows that you think there's something wrong with them." End ID.]
not sure if this is the right place to put this but the (pretty popular I think?) account @/not100bees is just going on a random anti-aromanticism rant for some reason? just like completely out of nowhere. so add to the blocklist or whatever
blocklist: not100bees & galesong
So for blocklist purposes, @aspec-experience is aphobe trying to cause infighting in the community. This post hasn't had interactions in month and suddenly an aplaphobe with an empty blog finds it ? I have suspicions they're a bad actor purposefully searching apla posts to hate on.
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Okay I’m glad we on Tumblr have started to understand that loveless aros exist. But do you understand that not all aplatonic people are loveless? That you can be aplatonic and alloromantic, aplatonic and allosexual, aplatonic and both? Do you understand that aplatonicism isn’t a subset of aromanticism any more than aromanticism is a subset of asexuality?
I consider it aplhobia that you basically can't find conversational partners or acquaintances online nowadays. Everyone wants "long-term friends," ghosting you if you didn't reply to them after one day. I do not want 24/7 annoying emotionally dense talks. I want to chat with someone occasionally without any expectation whatsoever.
Im non-partnering and anattractional on all fronts. Platonic, familial, romantic, sexual, aesthetic, sensual, etc. I have never experienced any of these, and I have expressed discomfort with "affectionate" terms of all sorts since I was able to speak at age 2. I only accept my name, title, and pronouns as terms of address, and I don't feel a *need* for any sort of social contact. Partly because of SPD.
Nobody in my life will accept this. Coworkers constantly attempt to call me things like "buddy" or "pal" despite me repeatedly telling them to only use my name or title.
My doctor always tries to initiate physical contact (shoulder touches, etc) in sympathy when I'm talking about my symptoms even though I have told her several times that I don't want to be touched outside of necessity, and that I don't consider sympathy a necessary situation for touch.
I cut off contact with my relatives because they wouldn't accept the fact that I don't see any of them as anything past my relatives and that I don't feel any strong emotions towards them.
I even had to drop the therapist who diagnosed me with schizoid personality disorder because she wouldn't accept the fact that I didn't want to "fix" my lack of desire for social connections. I only wanted to address the issues with derealization I was having, which I ended up having to do with a different therapist that specialized in a less effective form of therapy.
Apologies for how long this ask is, I just wanted to talk about it somewhere without being scrutinized
This is aphobia and ableism.
I hate how some people truly just won't back off. Don't use nicknames people ask you not to, don't touch people against their consent unless it's literally necessary, don't try to push relationship standards onto people when they don't feel comfortable with it. Respect people's individuality.
