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hate when men complain about how theyre not allowed to be vulnerable and people will be like "and who set that system up?" as a gotcha moment. stop acting like patriarchy was funded by calling in Every Man Ever in a room and letting them all singularly decide if they wanted it. patriarchy hurts everyone in different ways, they're allowed to complain and you shutting them down and telling them to stop complaining are doing exactly what toxic masculinity wants you to enforce
a man being gentle with you is the most masculine thing he can do.

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I don't think cis men commit 90% of violent crimes because they are naturally more violent than cis women. I think cis men commit 90% of violent crimes because they are afforded more opportunity and leeway by society to do so.
I think there's an incredible correlation between insulating cis boys from the consequences of their actions and the prevalence of violent crime.
I think we teach cis boys from a young age that violence will be tolerated from them as long as they perform masculinity to society's standards.
That second part is the salient factor here. Because we also teach them that violence will not be tolerated from them if they defy society's standards of masculinity, even if it's self defense. If they're picked on for defying those standards, it's the violence against them that's validated.
I think cis boys who are performing masculinity to society's standards get in no real trouble for snapping their classmates' bra straps or pulling their hair or whatever else gets written off as "he likes you" & it sets them up for a life of violence.
It doesn't guarantee it. But it raises the probability that they will continue to express their desires via violence when they're adults.
He'll get you pregnant then degrade you for being a slut.