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fun fact "a-spec people can still feel love even if it's different from what amatonormative society considers love" and "some people don't experience love at all and that's fine and doesn't make them any less human or worthy of respect" are two statements that can and do coexist
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every time someone treats Feeling Love™ as Political Praxis i want to beam this whole Moses Sumney quote into their head
“Reminder that aspecs can still date and love their friends and family” and themselves. And their hobbies, and their passion in life, and the media they consume and their pets and places they like to go and food and drinks they like and in fact they don’t have to subscribe to the idea of “love” at all. You don’t have to date or have friends or family to be a person. You don’t have to fit into what society wants your life to be like to not be a robot. When I complain about aphobes implying that people who don’t date are machines, I’m not just complaining that they devalue platonic or familial love. They’re devaluing the idea of being your own person and thats a type of aphobia people don’t talk about enough. Aspecs can do whatever they want forever and that includes everything.
anyone else feeling rather... annoyed at the way ppl have come to define and use queerplatonic and qprs? So many times I see ppl talk abt qprs saying they're "friendship but Deeper" or "a relationship strictly between friendship and romance" or "essentially romance lite/romance for aromantics" and like. A qpr definitely can be all that if the participants want that, but to say that this is THE definition of queerplatonic is actually going directly against the very goal for which the term was created. Queerplatonic was supposed to give us a word to be able to talk about relationships that don't fit neatly into the "romantic" and "platonic" boxes, whilst also deconstructing the relationship hierarchy and the idea that friendships are fundamentally lesser than romantic relationships. So can we please stop using qprs as a way to once again make friendships seem like a lesser form of relationship and to reinforce the relationship hierarchy? Please?
Afaik the original definition of a qpr was smth along the lines of "a relationship that doesn't fit the traditional boundaries of a friendship". By that definition? A loveless friendship would be a qpr. A "friendship" between two aplatonics would be a qpr. A friendship where they specifically feel less emotionally connected to one another than is expected of a "normal" friendship would be a qpr. Just like how queerness isn't fundamentally about love, queerplatonicism, i.e. queering the platonic, isn't fundamentally about "putting more love" into friendships. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
i just saw the phrase loveless marriage and i was gonna be like “oh thats so based actually” until i realized it was meant to be a bad thing ✌️💔
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Once again asking y'all to remember loveless, aplatonic, and afamilial aros this valentines day. Some aros don't have any kind of interest in substituting any other kind of love for romantic love, and there's nothing wrong with that.
reminder that if youre aro you dont have to be in a qpr or have any type of other relationship to still be happy !! you dont have to make up for not having/wanting romantic relationships !!
