#afamilality

I’m not aplatonic, but I will always stand by my community, the aspec community, which includes aplatonics.

Context under the cut, warning for aplphobia

*Note: Please make sure to check the original post for the latest version before reblogging. This post will be updated frquently!*

There are a lot of aspec terms, some more common than others. With this series, I'm hoping to spotlight a bunch of different aspec identities, terms, etc.

If you have any suggestions for terms to post about, you can comment on or reblog this post, or send in an ask or dm!

A lot of these topics will be aro/ace centered, but I'm happy to shine some light on anything on the aspec, including afamilial, aplatonic, asensual, atertiary, aqueerplatonic, etc. Just know that I will have less to say personally about things that don't apply to me, and I will be more heavily relying on the words of others in those cases.

Note: when a term is a modifier than can apply to multiple things (eg. repulsed, aego, demi, etc.), I typically default to using sex/sexuality/asexuality as the example (eg sex-repulsed, aegosexual, demisexual), because those are more clear-cut for me to define. Determining if an action is sexual is easier for me than determining if an action is romantic or platonic or anything else, and sometimes I just need an example. There's not really a deeper meaning to it.

Navigation links

Terms

Microlabels

A-Spectrums

Further reading

AUREA (Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy)

Aplatonic Information

LGBTQIA+ Mirahaze Wiki - link to the aspec category directly

LGBTQIA+ Fandom Wiki - link to the aspec category directly

Achievement Unlocked [asexual]

Achievement Unlocked [aromantic]

Achievement Unlocked [agender]

Achievement Unlocked [afamilial]

Achievement Unlocked [how many A battery?]

feeling like that “you guys get paid?” meme…. you guys actually experience the desire for being in relationships, whatever that may look like?

Disclaimer: I am not aplatonic or afamilial. Aplatonic and afamilial folks would probably be able to explain better than I can. If I make any mistakes, 1) I apologize and 2) please correct me.

Many people experience a form of attraction called platonic attraction. We don’t tend to think about this one, but if you’ve ever met someone and thought “man, they look really cool, I want to be their friend” or “I just met them but they’re so interesting, I want to be their friend,” that’s platonic attraction. Being aplatonic just means that someone doesn’t experience platonic attraction, or doesn’t experience it to the same extent that most people do, or that they experience in a different or fluctuating way (the same as the definitions of asexual and aromantic). Just like other a-spectrums, aplatonicism is a spectrum. Some people are favorable, or neutral, or averse, or repulsed by having friends. It’s not about the relationship, it’s about atttaction. Just as aros can date or aces can have sex, apls can have friends.

Some apls dislike terms like “friendship,” and prefer to use other words to describe their relationships. Again, it’s a spectrum with a wide range of experiences, the same way aromanticism or asexuality are.

Afamilial is similar, but for familial attraction. Familial attraction is a little harder for me to explain, but it’s that sense of specialness that you have in a relationship due to them being your family. I love my sisters, and they’re my best friends, but there’s a level to that relationship that I have purely because they are my family. And my roommates are wonderful, and almost like family to me, and there’s a specialness to being like family rather than just best friends. What im describing is my personal experience with familial attraction. Again, it’s a lesser recognized type of attraction that not everyone thinks to recognize, and that can make it harder to identify. But not everyone feels that way about the term “family”.

And an aro ace apl afam *could* desire no relationships, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have to. All of these are spectrums that describe attraction, which is different from experience. Maybe this hypothetical person is romance favorable, sex favorable, platonic favorable, family favorable. They don’t experience any of those attraction types, but they do enjoy having people in their life who fulfill some of those categories. Or maybe this hypothetical person is romance repulsed, sex repulsed, platonic repulsed, family repulsed. Maybe they don’t want to have any relationships, or maybe they just don’t want any relationships that check those specific boxes.

I have positive relationships with lots of people who are not a romantic or sexual partner, a family member, or someone I would qualify as a friend. There’s work friends (which are NOT the same as friends), acquaintances, etc. The ex-coworker who I’m friends with on Facebook but I’ve literally never sent a message to or liked a post of, but I smile when I see their updates about their marriage or their new job or whatever. The coworkers who I’m not *friends* with but I am *friendly* with, and they brighten my day even though I don’t have their phone numbers or anything like that. The neighbors I wave to when they walk their dog but I’m not really friends with.

If you want to learn more about aplatonic, afamilial, and anattractional (people who experience no attraction or are aspec for all forms of attraction), I suggest you check out some blogs by/for people who are on those spectrums, just read through what they've already said, and you can get a much better understanding. Here's a few!

@anattractional-culture-is, @our-aplatonic-experience, @allosocial-aplatonic, @our-afamspec-experience, @basil-being-afamilial (sorry for tag spam, y'all are just some of the blogs I've read through to better understand other aspec experiences!)