#aplatonism

If you happen to be aro and ace, you may have seen a new ace flag floating around. It look something like this:

NOTE: I had to significantly desaturate it to make this post accessible to photosensitive people! The original colours are very different but this is the general order of the stripes.

This was made by Instagram Black ace activist _aceingrace_ (see their profile here). The yellow stripe specifically stands for intersectionality and multiculturalism (plus joy), something that I think would be a nice addition to the aromantic flag (or any flag that doesn't have that, for that matter).

If you're wondering what was wrong with the original flag, it's the white stripe, which stood for "allosexual partners and allies", something that didn't sit right with many aces for obvious reasons.

Update: it seems that was not the case originally! Do check out the link someone kindly provided in the comments. Still, that is the Commonly Understood Meaning of the white stripe, for better or for worse.

Something similar is going on with the white stripe in the aro flag: it's defined as such:

the ‘platonic’ stripe - friendship/platonic and aesthetic attraction/queerplatonic relationships/family, the importance and validity of all non-romantic relationships and feelings and non-romantic forms of love etc.

That doesn't sit right with me as, without any shoutout specifying it's not a universal aro value and experience, it leaves aplatonic and loveless aros estranged from their own flag.

So I've made an attempt at a new aro flag. Here it is:

I wanted it to match the new ace flag so we finally have the same amount of stripes!

It is not meant to replace the original aro flag, but rather be displayed alongside it for those who find it meaningful.

I just need the community's feedback on what meanings to assign to each stripe! Please, if you're aro-spec, take a couple minutes to fill in the form.

If you're an ally please please please spread this around!

Tagging some blogs for reach, please ask if you'd like to be removed!

@aromanticofficial @aroworlds @aromantic-official @our-aro-experience @our-arospec-experience @our-aroace-experience @aroallo-culture-is-archive @arospecawarenessweek @aro-polls @aro-and-trans-thoughts @aroaceqoutes @alloaroworlds @aro-culture-is @aroapl @aro-positivity @aro-pride-stuff @loveless-aro-culture-is @lovequeerblog @lovequeers @aspecpplarebeautiful @aspecpolls @a-spec-unity-blog @a-spec-community-issues @a-spec-tacular @aroacesafeplaceforall @our-queer-experience @queer-polls

as an aplatonic person whos allosexual and alloromantic this genuinely pisses me off. whenever i describe myself this way people either get surprised or say im not really aspec. "but friendships are different than romance or sex, they need to be in your life!! youre not aspec if youre a weirdo freak whos obsessed with romance and smut!!!" oh my god shut up. aspec doesnt only include aromantism and asexuality

and also aro/ace people please dont generalize allos when criticizing aphobes. im genuinely tired of people saying allosexuals/romantics are 'corny' while im here both aspec and allo in my own ways. youre making plenty of other aspecs who are not ace or aro feel like theyre invalid

What we& haven't asked for in a long time is cake.

Don't get me wrong. I understand why people like cake. In fact, we& used to like cake. Up to a certain point, we& had cakes and cupcakes for each birthday. We& loved going to social events to have cake. It was our& favorite dessert, and nothing could compare.

But cake gets tiring.

It's different every time. Sometimes it's too sweet. Others, it's too bitter. Maybe it's too dry or too moist. The icing is often artificial.

Last year, we& woke up in our seventh period class, the last class of the day, and we& were offered a slice of cookie cake by our teacher. As I've just detailed to you, we& don't usually eat cake, but we& were hungry as we& hadn't eaten since breakfast. It's not like we& hate cake, either; the occasional bite isn't so bad. Except, when we& took a bite, the icing was bitter. So bitter, in fact, it left us& nauseated, and we& had to spit it out. Though I've never had it, I could only compare it to rat poison.

We& stumbled out of the classroom and straight towards the water fountain, gulping down as much as we& could stomach. We& choked and we& kept going. We& couldn't breathe and we& kept going. Our& throat burned and we& kept going, yet couldn't wash it down no matter how much we tried&. We& nearly threw up.

We& already hadn't liked cake for years, but since then, we&'ve sworn off of it for good.

And it's everywhere, too. You can't escape it. To be clear, I guess we& wouldn't really expect people to stop making cake. It's just that... well, it's not just that it's everywhere, it's everywhere. Every birthday party, every gathering, it's there and it's offered to you. And if you don't take it, people look at you funny. They give you that tight smile. "Yes, sure, that's fine," they say, but they keep it in mind.

You start to feel broken. Everyone likes cake, so why don't you? Why don't you want it? Why don't you want a slice? Don't you want it shoved down your throat? So deep, in fact, that you can taste the sweat of their skin and the dirt caked under their nails? Don't you want a taste? Don't you? Don't you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why don't you want it? Can't you see that it's hurting their feelings?

But we& can't shake that acrid taste from our& mouth.

We& still won't ask for cake next year.

"But how??" I'm aplatonic because I don't experience nor understand platonic closure, however I do have a trait that is called "friendliness", as well as still enjoying a company of some individuals (not necessarily of those who I know, if an individual is pleasant I will enjoy their company), and some reciprocate it, with us forming some kind of mutual connection.

Also the "first step" in having a partner shouldn't necessarily be platonic attraction/bond, it could be queerplatonic, alterous (need for deep connection/bond), aesthetic (attraction to one's looks), and many more!!

Is being a/platonic a spectrum ?