Ell

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

Dat's right boss. Now just tell us what ya need and we'll get it done boss.

who needs ta sleep with da fishes boss

sorry bawss, I was too busy searchin up da anime girls boss. real pretty.

Forget dem anime goils. Dere only temporary. But da boss is forever. Right boss?

Da boss got turned into a butterfly!!

Wadda bea-utiful transformation, boss. goes to show youse gotta preciate the lil things in life

ay boss congrats on da metamoiphosis

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

guys you gotta stop thinking of women in their 30s as elderly it’s just misogyny

you also gotta stop thinking about actual elderly women as lesser human beings. Youth is not a measure of one’s worth.

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

Only if you specify in the contract that the demon can't use chat-GPT

This brings a whole new element to my understanding of Devil Went Down to Georgia

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might