If this edit is my legacy, Iâm okay with that.
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@overlordpancake
If this edit is my legacy, Iâm okay with that.

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Some Photoshop Tips
Iâve been getting quite a few asks about the process for the patterns in my stylized artworks, so I decided to put together a couple of tips regarding them.Â
Firstly, what you need are
â CUSTOM BRUSHES â
Most of the patterns I use are custom brushes I made, such as those:
For the longest time I was convinced making brushes must be super extra complicated. I was super extra wrong. All you need to start is a transparent canvas (2500px x 2500px max):
This will be your brush tip. When youâre satisfied how it looks, click Ctrl+A to select the whole canvas and go to âdefine brush presetâ under the edit menu
You will be asked to name your new glorious creation. Choose something that describes it well, so you can easily find it between all the âasfsfgdgdâ brushes youâve created to be only used once
This is it. Look at it, you have just created a photoshop brush. First time i did I felt like I was cheated my whole life. ITâS SO EASY WHY HASNâT ANYONE TOLD MEÂ
Time to edit the Good Boi to be more random, so it can be used as a Cool Fancy Pattern. Go into brush settings and change whatever youâd like. Hereâs a list of what I do for patterns:
- under Shape Dynamics, I increase Size Jitter and Angle jitter by 5%-15%Â
- under Brush Tip Shape, I increase spacing by a shitload. Sometimes itâs like 150%, the point is to get the initial brush tip we painted to be visible.
- If I want it to look random and noisy, I enable the Dual Brush option, which acts like another brush was put on top of the one weâve created. You can adjust all of the Dual Brush options (Size, Spacing, Scatter, Count) as you wish to get a very nice random brush to smear on your backgrounds
The result is as above. You can follow the same steps to create whatever brush you need: evenly spaced dots that look like you painted them by hand, geometric pattern to fill the background, a line of perfectly drawn XDs and so on.Â
BUT WAIT, THEREâS MORE
â PATHS â
But what if you want to get lots of circles made of tiny dots? Or you need rows of triangles for your cool background? Photoshop can do all of that for you, thanks to the magic of paths.
Typically, paths window can be found right next to Layers:
Draw whatever path you want, the Shape Tool has quite a bit of options. Remember, paths are completely different from brush strokes and they wonât show up in the navigator. To move a path around, click A to enable path selection tool. You can use Ctrl+T to transform it, and if you move a path while pressing Alt it will be duplicated.
Now, pick a brush you wish really was in place of that path youâve drawn and go to layers, then choose the layer you want it to be drawn on. Then, click this tiny circle under the Paths window:
Then witness the magic of photoshop doing the drawing for you while you wonder how tf have you managed to forget about this option for the past 2 yearsÂ
You can combine special brushes and paths for all sorts of cool effects. I mostly use them in backgrounds for my cards, but you can do whatever you want with them.
I hope that answers the questions for all of the people who were sending me inquires about the patterns. If you have any questions regarding this or any other Photoshop matter feel free to message me, Iâm always up for complaining about how great and terrible Photoshop is Câ:
So I got a lot of messages after my first post asking me to explain layers, so I have put together a cheat sheet of the different layer types.  The quickest way to become awesome with layers is to know exactly what each one does. Once again, Iâm no expert, and these are just my personal definitions, so please try these out for yourself! LONG POST BELOWWW THE LAYERS CHEAT SHEET PART ONE: 1. NORMAL:  Aw yeah you know all about this layer its just your average layer 2  DISSOLVE: This mode âdissolvesâ some pixels, allowing the lower layer to show through. very pixel-y.  Reducing opacity makes it dissolve more. ________ 3. DARKEN: Now the difference between darken and multiply are a little confusing, so I will explain them together. MULTIPLY is more of a glaze, while DARKEN favors the darks on all layers.  So if you have a darken layer on, it tend to reduce/remove the lighter tones on the layer if there are darker tones below it, while darkening the darks.  4.  MULTIPLY: A glaze that darkens the color of the layer below. It is great for shading.  Reduces whites. 5.  COLOR BURN:  âBurnsâ the lower layer favoring a more saturated look.  Marks made over white are not preserved.  6.  LINEAR BURN:  âBurnsâ the lower layer, with a little less saturation than color Burn.  Also will preserve colors over white. 7.  DARKER COLOR: I tend to avoid this puppy cause it does not darken on the RGB channel. (feel free to try him though!) ______ 8. LIGHTEN:  Lightens the colors below. Favors lighter colors on lower layers. 9. SCREEN:  Lightens the colors below, but much closer to the âglazeâ analogy as above.  Reduces blacks. 10. COLOR DODGE: Often used for magic-y effects, color dodge bumps up saturation and is very bright. 11.  LINEAR DODGE: Much like color dodge, but less saturation. 12. LIGHTER COLOR:  Once again, this is an outside RGB channel layer, so I donât really use this. As you probably have noticed, the second two groups are opposites, so if you have a good handle on one, you probably know exactly what the second group does! I will do the remaining groups next week as they do not follow this pattern.  Thanks! drawmaevedraw.tumblr.com EDIT: Part two here: Photoshop Layers Part Two!!
Ok so this post is extremely long and I put it all together for my blogs Feeling sad page but as I donât have a huge amount of followers I realize so many people are not seeing this information so Iâm posting it here too!
alternatives without harming yourself:
holding/squeezing ice.
splashing your face with water.
getting a rubber band and snapping it against your skin (this could hurt, though itâs better than other ways that people usually choose to self-harm).
take a hot shower or bath.
eat something sour. it will take your mind of the urge. (lemon, sour lollies)
massage where you want to self-harm.
get a red pen or red paint and draw/paint over where you usually self-harm.
remind yourself as to why you shouldnât do it. (scars, harms organs, leave memories etcâŚ)
describe what you are feeling. (is the urge/pain in your chest, fists, legs, arms, head).
killing yourself will not help. it is not a solution.
you have your whole life ahead of you. you have so many more years that you can accomplish things in. for example;
having a family.
getting married.
to watch the sun rise.
to watch the sun set.
to save someone elseâs life.
finish school.
get your dream job.
to laugh.
to smile.
to go camping.
travel to new places.
to wake up every morning to the person you love.
friends.
family.
to keep that promise you made.
to accomplish a goal.
to meet your idol.
to listen to new music.
theme parks.
video games.
chocolate.
to be able to look back and say âi made itâ.
what youâre going through is temporary.
in case you need to hear this:
you are loved.
you are wanted.
you are needed.
you are beautiful.
you are handsome.
you are important.
you are not alone.
you are okay.
you are strong.
you are worth it.
you are smart.
you are not a failure.
you are useful.
you are going to be okay.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
abuse
coping
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anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper
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what anxious racing thoughts are like for me
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finding the right anti-depressant
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281 reasons to recover
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why you must eat
learning to love your body
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10 steps to bulimia recovery workbook
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tips to help with bulimia recovery
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stop hating your body
body positive zone
self care 101
self esteem
30 day self esteem challenge
developing positive self esteem
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something fishy
ways of coping with eating disordered behaviors
the addiction help center
friends with illness
how to deal/talk with bipolar and depressed people
what to do when your friend is talking about suicide
what to do if someone you know is overdosing
what to do if your friend is hurting themselves
how to help someone who is suicidal
hereâs what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide
tips for looking after someone with depression
friends with metal illness?
what to do when someone is suicidal
help guide (helping someone with depression)
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help guide (coping with grief & loss)
help guide (coping with pet loss)
help guide (supporting a grieving person)
help guide (the five stages of grief)
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additional treatment options for ocd
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a new relationship to your obsessions
how to find help for ocd
ocd: exposure therapy versus medication
cognitive therapy for ocd
chat rooms
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perfectionism
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perfectionism - stress management
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schizophrenia: coping with delusions and hallucinations
paranoid schizophrenia coping and support
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an introduction to the treatment of schizophrenia
treatment of schizophrenia
drugs to treat schizophrenia
common drugs and medications to treat schizophrenia
treating schizophrenia successfully
self-harm
cut something thatâs not real skin
half of us
help guide
recover your life
self-injury outreach & support
how to care for cuts
resisting cutting
25 ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm
tips to help stop cutting
99 coping skills: things to do instead of cutting
what to do when someone sees
how to fade/cover scars
alternatives for cutting 1
alternatives for cutting 2
alternatives for cutting 3
alternatives for cutting 4
alternatives for cutting 5
self-love
how to stop putting yourself down
self confidence
how to improve your self-esteem
how to be ok with yourself
tips on self-love
confidence
learn to love yourself
when told you are not pretty
emergency compliment
lessons for self-love
suicide
coping with suicidal thought
what to do when someone is suicidal
how to help someone who is suicidal
hereâs what you tell someone who wants to commit suicide
help guide (suicide prevention)
help guide (dealing with suicidal thoughts & feelings)
therapy
how to get free therapy
getting a therapist - a brief step-by-step
psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?
50 signs of good therapy
50 warning signs of questionable therapy
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
the quiet place
things to do when you feel bad
when youâre not having a good day
reminders
self care suggestions
take a break
the thoughts room
90 second relaxation
the dawn room
the comfort spot
control a rainstorm
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how to make changes in your life
imalive
crisischat
7 cups of tea
kids help phone
positive love network
trans lifeline: 877-565-8860
depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696
suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433
lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
trevor project: 1-866-488-7386
sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743
eating disorders hotline: 1-847-831-3438
rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673
grief support: 1-650-321-5272
runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
exhale: after abortion hotline/pro-voice: 1-866-439-4253
Dont forget about Crisis Text Line!Â
Text HOME to 741-741
for those who might need it
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like âthis generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentialsâ and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans wonât tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER ITâS UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DONâT EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* ITâS SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because itâs easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronnerâs. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. Thatâs it. Thatâs the whole thing. Use maybe a Âź cup per load.
^^^ Iâve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesnât come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesnât need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
I love this post so much itâs filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one

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some resources for people who want to start animating
free animation programs
the 12 principles of animation
51 animation exercises (from beginner to expert)
glen keane animates a scene
my advice: have fun and playâplay is learning | always be watching real life to see how things move | also be watching cool animations to learn from them | donât wait until youâre âgood at artââanimating will help you improve | itâs hard but so worth it when things turn out well, good luck!
art cheats
hello i am here today to not lose track of the art cheats i have discovered over the years. what i call art cheat is actually a cool filter/coloring style/way to shade/etc. that singlehandedly makes art like 20 times better
80âs anime style
glitch effect
glow effects
adding colors to grayscale paintings
foreshortening ( coil )
foreshortening ( perspective )
clipping group (lines)
clipping group (colors)
dramatic lighting ( GOOD )
shading metal
lighting faces
that is all for today, do stay tuned as i am always hunting for cool shit like this
a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore
by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymoreÂ
never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes âi wanna dieâ as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
⌠8|
Thatâs some pretty good advice. I donât know whatâs left of my humor after âguess Iâll just dieâ jokes but itâs worth a shot.
Personally i went from âguess Iâll dieâ jokes to âIF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.â and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
Hereâs a tip I picked up from a friend thatâs helped me a lot â replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes
Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying âlâm just a disaster humanâ I say âIâm the epitome of grace and beautyâ
Or like, when I draw a picture Iâm not 100% happy with, instead of saying âmy art is trashâ I say something like âyou know I think itâs time we replaced the Mona Lisaâ
When you do that you get to make a joke, but youâre ALSO getting practice building yourself up, yâknow?
And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you ARENâT joking
Jury nullification. Pass it on.
Jury nullification is so fucking important.
This is something that more people should be aware of, if only because (in many states, at least) defense attorneys are actually prohibited from mentioning it to jurors. The law allows a jury to return a ânot guiltyâ verdict contrary to the facts of the case, but not for the defense to inform them of that power or to argue for its application in the current trial.
I didnât know about this. Wow.
always reblog
This is SUPER IMPORTANT and also a good reason to show up for jury duty. You know all those laws you think are stupid? This is your chance to maybe do something about it.Â
IâŚ. I thought this was common knowledge⌠signal boosting this because it obviously isnât!
Did not know this
Jury nullification in the United States has its origins in colonial British America. Similar to British law, in the United States jury nullification occurs when a jury in a criminal case reaches a verdict contrary to the weight of evidence, sometimes because of a disagreement with the relevant law.
extremely important: you cannot let the Judge know YOU know about this or you will not serve on that jury to even try this out.
I will hang the jury for a solid month if I think a law is stupid. All it takes is one person to do it.
In case anyone is having a bad night:
Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe Iâve found
Here are some fun sites
Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics
Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli
Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies
*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*
Youâll be okay, friend <3
i will reblog this everytime it shows up because any of my followers could have a bad night right now
@virgil-has-a-houseplant

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I'm a senior in high school and I've recently started doing college tours. But I'm worried about the whole leaving home thing I've got really bad social anxiety/skills and none of my friends are going to the colleges I've picked. It also doesn't help that my mom is very controlling and has made every decision in my life so far and I'm very codependent Idk what I'm doing. Do you have any tips for me leaving home? like is there anything I can do to prepare myself? or at least calm/fix my anxiety?
Here are some posts for you to check out from our Index:
Living On Your Own For the First Time
Moving - Packing Tips
Social - Homesickness
College - Campus Living Advice
College - Freshman Advice
College - Preparing for College
Anxiety - General Suggestions
Depression/Anxiety Masterpost
Adulting Posts
Adulting 101: The post that started it all! Discount cards, xmas lights, and general food advice.
Adulting 102: Cacti, electric bills, and some inexpensive cleaning advice.
Adulting 103: Peeing after sex, chalkboard paint, and why you need scented trash bags in your life.
Adulting 104: Electric bill budgets, lint drawers, and why mixed greens are more trouble than theyâre worth.
Adulting 105: Paper bills, Yankee Candles, and where to purchase postage stamps.
Adulting 106:Â Scented tampons, dishwasher pods, and why you should live next to a fire department.
Adulting 107:Â Command hooks, inexpensive bathroom decor, and why organic cucumbers are overrated.Â
Adulting 108:Â An Adulting post dedicated entirely to apartment hunting!
Adulting 109:Â Cleaning your shower head, condiments, and why you should never buy Dollar Store paper towels.
Adulting 110:Â Food hygiene, Airborne, and automatic payment advice.
Because abortions aren't the only way the patriarchy wants to control your junk
OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Iâm so sorry.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.
OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.
Me: *blinks* What?
OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.
Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.
OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but weâll run with it.
Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.
OBGYN: Not until you are 35.
Me: Dah fuq?
OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization wonât even consider any treatment unless itâs life or death until youâre 35.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.
Me: Iâm 31. I didnât want kids when I was 11, I didnât want them at 21, and I sure as shit donât want them now. Canât I just sign a form that says âI donât ever want a baby take it out, take it out nowâ?
OBGYN: Nope.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.
TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.
This is just evil. They are literally refusing to treat a potentially life-threatening condition, not just without the patientâs consent but despite the patientâs protest. Evil.
According to the National Womenâs Health Network, thereâs no legal age restriction-Â âTechnically, any woman of legal age can consent to the procedure, but it should be medically justified. Itâs incredibly unlikely that a doctor will perform a hysterectomy on women ages 18-35 unless it is absolutely necessary for their well-being and no other options will suffice.â Of course, this is in the US. Other countries may have different rules.Â
If youâre in the US and your OBGYN says âgovernment says no,â look for a new one because they lied to you. If your OBGYN says that âhospital says no,â look for a new one because this one doesnât respect your bodily autonomy. It is true that most surgeons donât like to perform hysterectomies until youâre in your late 30s at the earliest, but a respectful surgeon will listen to their patient and not just write them off. Sexism in hospitals is alive and well- and itâs not just anecdotal evidence. Thereâs been a history of looking at it academically/professionally since the 70s (look into Mary Halas as a good place to start if youâre curious), and it crops up all the time in articles in the Journal of Womenâs Health and Womenâs Health Issues, and the International Journal of Womenâs Health all of which are peer-reviewed, well-respected medical journals. Itâs absolutely a real thing.Â
Anyways, I guess what Iâm getting at is this:Â hereâs a list of doctors (mostly US-centric) who perform different sterilization surgeries without giving their patients trouble. While even a surgeon on this list might caution anyone under 35 away from a hysterectomy, at the end of the day itâs your body and your pain. (And some of the docs here have been known to perform hysterectomies on people in their 20s with no fuss.) While this list wonât be practical for everyone- after all, medical treatment is ridiculously expensive in this country, it might help someone.Â
Holy shit fam Holy S H I T
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP IâVE BEEN TOLD THIS IS NOT ALLOWED FOR YEARS
Oh god
QUICK REMINDER THAT I HAD A HYSTERECTOMY A FEW DAYS AFTER MY 26TH BIRTHDAY B/C I HAD CANCER AND I DID EXACTLY THIS. I HAD A DOCTOR WHO DIDNâT WANT TO DO IT AND THEN I WENT TO A NEW DOCTOR AND AFTERWARDS SHE MORE OR LESS SAID MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN DANGER HAD I NOT DONE IT.
Sometimes itâs not the doctor, itâs the hospital. For example, my OBGYN worked at a Catholic hospital, so they couldnât perform any type of sterilization onsite unless it was an emergency situation. Â
So if your doc feeds you this BS line about not being allowed to, ASK IF ITâS THE HOSPITAL POLICY. If it is, ask if they are able to perform the procedure elsewhere. If they are not, ASK FOR A REFERRAL.
I was 28 years old when my OBGYN explained that he wasnât allowed to perform a sterilization procedure onsite, and then he proceeded to tell me what a crock of shit it was and referred me to someone else who was able to. And even though I was under 30, his referral listed me as âan ideal candidateâ for the procedure. Â
If they pass off this line and insist when you know otherwise, FIND A NEW DOCTOR.
if someone does the âfine, youâre right, iâm clearly a terrible person, iâm satan, iâm the worst person alive, i should just dieâ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate ppl and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim
stop tolerating this in 2k17 tbh. like really and truly, if you or your friend thinks this is okay pls call the hotline on the bottom of the screen and learn how to take responsibility for your bad behaviorÂ
The bad thing is I do this on a regular basis. Not because I want to manipulate people, but because thatâs actually how I feel. Iâm bad at receiving concrit. I canât say that everyone who reacts this way feels the same as I do, butâŚnot every case is like that.
have you considered that, regardless of your intentions, reacting in such an exaggerated way would make it very difficult for anyone to criticize you or tell you that youâre harming people with your behavior? iâm not interested in searching out peopleâs motives, i donât really care why someone does or says manipulative things. being unable or unwilling to simply apologize and not make it about themselves is a solid indicator that a person is not interested in being held accountable for their bad behavior, and people, especially the injured parties in question, shouldnât have to tolerate it.
take responsibility for your bad behavior 2k17 tbh
Okay, life lesson time.Â
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, âOh, Iâm a bad personâ any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement.Â
Like, âPlease donât leave my X on the floorâ would get, âOh, Iâm a horrible person!â
HEREâS WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think Iâm calling you out and you think youâre about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.
What is important is what happened after. My boyfriend might say, âOh, Iâm just an awful boyfriendâ and instead of him acknowledging the BEHAVIOR and working on fixing it, heâd get me trying to buck him up for the next half hour, telling him he was a good person. The behavior that started it all would not change.
Well, things led to things and I went back home to live for a while, and found that the same exact thing was happening⌠with my mother.
And then I learned about pattern arguments. Pattern arguments are the ones where you keep having the same nonproductive argument over and over again. They donât all follow this pattern, but this is a really common one.
The trick?
BREAK THE PATTERN
First you have to know what the pattern is. In this case: 1. Grievance 2. Self deprecation 3. Ego stroking So, with my mother, we started in on one of these, and she said, âI guess Iâm just a terrible mother.â And instead of reassuring her, instead of derailing the issue and letting it go⌠I said, âWhen you say that, it makes me wonder how terrible a daughter I could be that you would think you were a bad mother. We have this conversation this way over and over, and the problem that I have always gets pushed aside in favor of trying to make you feel better. When youâre willing to have a real conversation about this, Iâm happy to talk to you, but Iâm bored with this argument, so Iâll see you later if you want to really talk.â And I left the room. Now, my mom is a reasonably self-aware person, and does a lot of hard emotional work, and so she got it, very quickly. 10 minutes later she came out and found me, and we had a real conversation about whatever the hell the issue really was, and we have literally NEVER had that particular pattern argument again in 23 years. Boyfriend came to visit. I was upset about something, he started in on the âIâm just a shitty boyfriendâ thing⌠and my response? âYep. You are.â His jaw dropped. He blinked. And I said, âLook, thatâs what you do. You say shit like that and it means you donât have to change your behavior, and Iâm tired of the pattern we have where I tell you something isnât working for me, you tell me youâre terrible, and I spend half an hour making you feel better. Iâm tired of it and Iâm not doing it anymore. If youâre willing to have an actual conversation about this, and not just the same old argument, Iâm game. But this thing we do where you talk yourself down and I butter you up? Is boring. And Iâm over it.â We also did not have that argument again. (The relationship finally ended for real a while after, but it ended in a grown-up way, and not with a ridiculous meaningless fight.) When you knock yourself down, the gut instinct for the people around you is to pick you up. But that means youâre not pulling your weight in the relationship. Youâre making them do the work and youâre not actually hearing them. So that brings us to another point:
How to deal with criticism
Okay, so if youâre not going to knock yourself down when someone says something negative about you, what DO you do? We donât actually train people to take criticism well. But it is an art and a skill and NECESSARY to finding emotional stability in the face of a critical world.
I see it as a flow chart, but since the flow chart I made for it ended up in a book that I donât own the copyright to (not a big deal) Iâll write out the decision tree here instead: 1. Someone offers criticism (constructive or not!)
2. Listen and think about it without immediately trying to defend yourself. You can say, âOkay, I need a moment to take that in and think about it because I want to understand it.â Or something else appropriate to the situation. It is okay to ask for time to think in most circumstances. Most people will appreciate that you are thinking about their words instead of immediately getting defensive or counterattacking. Think about whether what they are saying is valid, might be valid or is not valid.Â
3A. If it is valid, then you have a choice. You can try to fix the behavior or you can acknowledge that it is a valid criticism but decide you arenât likely to fix it. Start by acknowledging the validity of the criticism, and then say what youâre going to do to fix it, or say that itâs valid but it isnât something youâre willing (or possibly able) to change, or say that itâs a valid criticism and youâll need to think about possible solutions. They may have a suggestion. Taking it or not is also a choice.Â
3B. If youâre not sure itâs valid, but it might be, tell them, âI really need to give this some more thought.â or âCan you tell me more about this? Iâm not sure I understand the issue well.â  Or âIf you can point me at some reading material or search terms, Iâd like to study this before I decide what Iâm going to do.âÂ
3C. If you know it is not a valid criticism, STOP a moment, and look at WHY they are making it. This is where Active Listening can be very helpful. âI hear you saying that X is a problem. I donât see it that way right now but Iâd like to understand better why you do.â Or if you think they donât have enough information, âI hear you saying X, but my understanding of the issue is Y. Hereâs what I know about it if youâre ready to listen.â If theyâre just looking for a fight, tell them youâre not interested in fighting, and disentangle yourself.Â
4. If the criticism is something you are going to listen to and take action on, tell them what kind of action youâre going to take. If itâs something youâre hearing and thinking about, tell them that. If itâs not something youâre going to do anything about or itâs just wrong, thank them for their input and move on.
Literally never is it going to be helpful to say, âOh, Iâm just a terrible person.â Thatâs very much like a nonapology-apology in terms of how unhelpful it is to any conversation. Itâs kind of worse because it actually expects emotional labor from someone who is already having to bring up something unpleasant with you. Think about what they say Decide whether youâre going to do something about it Do the thing, or tell them youâre not going to do the thing. Donât demand emotional labor from other people when you were the one who messed up.Â
Apologize if appropriate. This is all predicated on the notion that youâre talking to someone who actually wants to communicate and isnât just an asshole on the attack. Because seriously, the whole âIâm a terrible personâ thing? Boring as fuck. Knock that shit off. Maybe you are. Maybe you arenât. But take responsibility and have a little self-respect and donât make others pick your emotional dirty towels off the metaphorical bathroom floor.Â
Yeah, I want to reiterate all of the above, because I feel like the top post doesnât do an especially good job of conveying that mostly when people do this its not on purpose, its generally because theyâre feeling real distress.
Its just that it doesnât matter.
If every single criticism of you ends in an emotional crisis, you become uncriticisable, and its unbelievably difficult to deal with someone when you can ask them to stop doing something, or to fix something.
9 times out of 10 when someone asks you to stop doing something, or fix a behaviour, its not that big a deal, they were a little upset, they said something about it, and a quick apology and not doing it again, or even just making a sincere effort to do it less, and theyâll probably not even think about it again.
And yeah, it can feel really, really bad to realize youâve upset someone, even if its only a little bit. But it is unbelievably difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who makes all their feelings your problem. Not because it means youâre evil, or abusive, or being deliberately manipulative, but because most people just donât have enough emotional energy to process for two. They just donât.
This would have been amazing to have when I was 16 and an arsehole, but thank God for the people who helped me break that behaviour.
This. I figured it out on my own at some point that, due to my low self-esteem, I was doing this internally. I wouldnât say it out loud and so it wasnât manipulative, but it still wasnât helpful at all. Neither was my original method of âoh look at the ways Iâll be amazing and better to make it for itâ that never actually got done. But forcing myself to stop, listen, breathe, and assimilate the information, without getting emotional or upset or focusing on my feelings too much, has seriously helped me analyze myself and my behavior so much more.
If you think the criticism is valid, another thing that could be good to say would be âYouâre right, leaving it on the floor means itâs in the way and will get dirty/will be more likely to get brokenâ or whatever. This shows the other person that you are working hard to see how things are for them, in contrast to âI am a terrible personâ which has no room for their needs or concerns.
Real talk.
Important life lessons here.
For all the artists out there
Youre telling me I threw away 10 dollar markers FOR NOTHING
REBLOG to save a life and a wallet!
Plus copics are actually refillable and you can buy more colored ink online for pretty cheap! So yeah dont throw out copics.
NO NO NO NO!
Never refill a Copic with regular isopropyl alcohol unless you have absolutely no other option.
Copic markers have their own ink refills to go with each marker,
They look like this and cost around the same price as a Copic Sketch maybe slightly more however they can be used to refill a marker several times
By using isopropyl alcohol what youâre doing, in fact, is diluting what little ink you have left in your make, therefore changing the shade of it.
Of course the one exception to this rule is the colourless blender 0 which is a marker that is full of regular isopropyl alcohol.
As a side note, DONâT throw away your marker if one/both of the is damaged
Copic also make replacement nibs for all of their markers
Which are much cheaper than buying a new marker as you get multiple in a pack.
Reblogging to save an artist. Copics are meant to be reusable and I know how hella expensive those things are. NEVER throw out your Copic markers!

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hey uh? i dont really know if this is real but im? kinda both scared and disgusted rn? even if youâre not muslim if you could spread this? i dont know how many muslim followers i have but, please, stay safe?
please spread this and please stay safe.
every single one of my followers should reblog this. Keep your brothers and sisters safe.
DUDE WTH
what the frick is this real
according to the internet this is a real thing in the UK.
thats messed up.
stay safeÂ
I just looked it up and for real people are getting these letters all over the UK.
Please be safe if youre muslim, if youre not muslim please look out for and protect the muslim people around you, theres some seriously sick people out there that may very well act on this.
What the actual fuck.
Please stay safe everyone
Rushed to snopes, hoping to find itâs a hoax - doesnât seem to be, and itâs reported on The Independent and on Sky News and on The Guardian.
Stay safe, everyone.
Evil.Â
Literally only like 10 people follow me but if that's 10 more people who are prepared and know to be safe and can help spread the word then good because this is disgusting
Trying to draw buildings
yo hereâs a useful tip from your fellow art ho cynellis⌠use google sketchup to create a model of the room/building/town youâre trying to draw⌠then take a screenshot & use it as a reference! Itâs simple & fun!
Sketchup is incredibly helpful. I canât recommend it enough.
Thereâs a 3D model warehouse where you can download all kinds of stuff so you donât have to build everything from scratch.
reblog to save a life
This is an incomplete tutorial, and it drives me crazy every time I see it come around.
We live in a pretty great digital age and we have access to a ton of amazing tools that artists in past generations couldnât even dream of, but a lot of people look at a cool trick and only learn half of the process of using it.
Hereâs the missing part of this tutorial:
How do you populate your backgrounds?
Well, hereâs the answer:
If the focus is the environment, you must show a person in relation to that environment.
The examples above are great because they show how to use the software itself, but each one just kind of âplopsâ the character in front of their finished product with no regard of the personâs relation to their environment.
How do you fix this?
Well, hereâs the simplest solution:
This is a popular trick used by professional storyboard and comic artists alike when theyâre quickly planning compositions. Itâs simple and it requires you to do some planning before you sit down to crank out that polished, final version of your work, but it will be the difference between a background and an environment.
From Blacksad (artist: Juanjo Guarnido)
From Hellboy (Mike Mignola)
Even if your draftsmanship isnât that great (like mine), people can be more immersed in the story you tell if you just make it feel like there is a world that exists completely separate from the one in which they currently reside â not just making a backdrop the characters stand in front of.
Your creations live in a unique world, and it is as much a character as any other member of the cast. Make it as believable as they are.
Great comments and tutorials!
Iâm a 3d artist and have been exploring the possibilities of using 3d as reference for 2d poses. I want to add a couple of tips and things!
Sketchup is very useful for environment references, and I assume itâs reasonably easy to learn. If youâre interested in going above and beyond, I highly recommend learning a proper 3d modeling program to help with art, especially because you can very easily populate a scene or location with characters!
Using 3ds Max I can pretty quickly construct an environment for reference. But going beyond that, I can also pose a pretty simple âCATâ armature (known in 3d as a rig) straight into the scene, which can be totally customized, from various limbs, tails, wings, whatever, to proportions, and also can be modeled onto and expanded upon (for an example, you could 3d sculpt a head reference for your character and then attach it to the CAT rig, so you have a reference for complex face angles!)
The armature can also be posed incredibly easily. I know programs exist for stuff like this - Manga Studio, Design Doll - but posing characters in these programs is always an exercise in frustration and very fiddly imo. A simple 3d rig is impossibly easy to pose.
By creating an environment and dropping my character rig into it, I have an excellent point of reference when it comes to drawing the scene!
Not only that, but I can also view the scene from whatever angle I could ever want or need, including the character and their pose/position relative to the environment.
We can even quickly and easily expand this scene to include more characters!
Proper 3d modeling software is immensely powerful, and if you wanted to, you could model a complex environment that occurs regularly in your comic or illustration work (say, a castle interior, or an outdoor forest environment) and populate the scene with as many perspective-grounded characters as you need!
reblogging to save a life
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look at this amazing addition! This is fantastic!
I tried Sketchup before but did struggle a lot with it X_X Maybe I should give it another try sometime âŚ.
ART TIPS ââââ