The Far-flung Sofa

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"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."

"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"

"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"

"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."

"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"

I laughed. "I've heard that before."

"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."

I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"

Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.

There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.

JESSICA CHASTAIN as LUCILLE SHARPE

Remember to keep your gobo girlfriend hydrated and fresh in this season >.<

the characters' family trees/connections

the way people die

plot twists (among others to explain actors' departures)

the dramatic zoom-ins on characters' faces

A good soap has all of the above, but which one does COC have in abundance?

The skimmer has its own dedicated subforum on the biggest fan site and people regularly post pictures of themselves with skimmers of the same make. All location data monitored by the Order of course. Someone got into big trouble for selling off what they claimed was pieces from the wreck of the original skimmer. They were going for mad prices before the investigation got underway.

Incredibly, the actual skimmer was tracked down postwar to a quarry two hours outside Ses’erakh by former Order filing clerk Akem Retel, and is now held in pride of place at the Culat Museum of Popular Culture, opened by Castellan Garak in 2388,

CoC causes of death list:

- White skimmer (multiple times)

- Cardboard boxes

- Fall down a turbolift shaft

- Mauled by regnars

- Poisoned by the highly toxic pollen of the perek flower

Also: who is that one character that regularly gets killed and then miraculously comes back, "bitch you thought you'd seen the last of me" style and is it Mathra's niece?

One of the longest-standing actors (played Mathra’s second husband, she was his third wife) foolishly confused his fame with reality and was embroiled in a real-life marital scandal with a girl young enough to be his daughter. Wasn’t seen on screen again. Or off.

You'd think there might have been some difficulty piecing together all the details of the years and years of prior and very complicated narratives, but as luck would have it, a full archive existed off-world. This was returned from its anonymous owner via a very strange route: a gift from Grand Nagus Rom to the Cardassian people. The special role of the Ferengi people in preserving this unique piece of Cardassian cultural heritage was later recognised by a series of crossover episodes with their equivalent show, Love's Latinum's Lost.

Yes, one big difference is that the new show has offworlder characters, many of whom are associated with the Federation relief mission. There are dramatic storylines around bringing home an offworlder as a potential spouse, but these characters quickly settle in as part of the core cast. Particularly popular is the handsome young human doctor, the show's most eligible bachelor.