A Fractal of Loops

I don't know if I'd go so far as to call religion superstition in a world where ghouls, ghosts, walking spirits, revetheralinnoi, and revethavaroi exist. When Thara lost his Calling, I don't think the alchemists could've helped him.

A food-item (Waffles, Peanut)

A color (Pinky, Hazel)

A real-life person (Marilyn, Paris)

A fictional character (Eevee, Simba)

A type of flora (Rosie, Willow)

Animal-like (Kitty, Gator)

A trait (Lucky, Buddy)

Something else

If you have more than one pet, choose the most applicable listed (ex: you have three pets named Cookie, Cream & Rocky, so you choose the “Food” option). Also, would be interested if you reblogged your pet’s name(s) in the tags and the reason why you chose it ^^

Thara, as we are introduced to him, has the horrifying and traumatic death of Evru hanging over him in literally 100% of his canon appearances. We're introduced in Emperor to a character who is not only understandably grief-stricken, but who, additionally, is severely clinically depressed (this merits its own post, but for now, the key point is that he is very ill). And he just stays that way nearly to the end of Grief of Stones. And on top of that, the way the first parts of Cemeteries is narrated actively prevents us from gaining any real picture of what his life was like before all the trauma (which in and of itself seems to be partly a reflection of badly he's doing). Almost everything he says about his earlier life is a single sentence that could be presented as a bullet point with no details. So its really difficult in Witness and Stones to make any kind of educated guess on what an un-traumatized, healthy Thara was like.

it's a calm and relatively quiet environment

it's very low-politics! people are there to share their research and learn, not to impress the emperor

he genuinely really likes learning new things and being able to just listen and ask questions without being judged

But it didn't. Because, as the book emphasizes, trust is the right choice. Even when it does go badly, even when he is betrayed, that doesn't mean the trust was wrong. Because when one person betrays him, every single other person around him shows how truly loyal they are, not only by rushing to his aid, but by caring so deeply and obviously about him.

three 20 something men who are professionally trained in cosmetics

the force of fashion nature that is clemis atterezh

a scatterbrained academic prodigy who took a vow of poverty and knows avada kedavra

the most organized person possibly ever, running on 4 hours of sleep, several cups of orchor, and pure concentrated devotion

god's most autistic soldier

a world-class chef

a middle aged cleric who is incapable of being phased by anything at this point

telimezh, the sweetie of all time, awkward kinda ordinary guy who hails from squat dab in the middle of bumfuck nowhere

the tiniest shyest little maid in the world

the boss of most of the others, a stern no-nonsense kind of woman who perpetually looks vaguely disapproving

He was called the Winter Emperor, for his reign was brought in with early snow…

the first thing we learn about the varedeise emperors is that they are 1. isolationist and hostile to other nations 2. corrupt and prone to nepotism and 3. firmly aligned with the contingent of eastern lords.

and then... well, as it turns out, varenechibel was really none of those things? he tried to negotiate for peace on the steppes, and was actively negotiating a trade agreement with barizhan when he died. he's so deeply anti-corruption that he exiled his own cousin for even vaguely suggesting that he might deserve special treatment. he was invested in the idea of bridging the istandaärtha, which is directly counter to the eastern lords' interests. even when he DOES go out of his way to favor a major eastern house, it's the tethimada, who were previously snubbed by the varedeisei.

certainly, all signs indicate that he personally held some xenophobic and racist views. (although he wasn't necessarily always hostile to all those with goblin heritage, since he was seemingly friends with orthema to some extent. ok i'm aware that counts for very little the bar is under the floor on this one) but anyway. xenophobic beliefs do not isolationist policy make.

his lukewarm support of the eastern factions is imo probably a symptom of his deep dislike for partiality. which... well, his father is THE poster child for varedeise corruption. setheris is biased, but his account of varevesena giving out titles to his friends' newborn children is pretty damning; and even csevet basically politely confirms he was Nepotism Georg. from that same conversation, csevet doesn't seem to think varenechibel had any close personal friends at all.

Nobody wants to talk about Setheris and that surprises me because he has some of the nastiest, most interesting implications to me. Like.

My impression of cousin Setheris and his wife, cousin Hesero seems to fly in the face of fandom want for him to get divorced from his wife for beating a child and then he spends his life miserable or whatever.

Here’s the logic: Setheris genuinely strikes me as genuinely oblivious to the impact his abuse has on Maia.

Hear me out based on text: The impression is, he’s talented, and intellectual. He also seems like he’s the sort of person who believes his intellectual traits mean anyone can’t challenge him head-on in an argument and win. (See: charges of treason and his “Prove it” even to the emperor, further indicated in his constant lack of formality to everyone. He thinks he’s their better or equal to an almost contemptuous degree. And all the moreso to Maia, who even as emperor he calls thou.)

The crux of his characterization is that Setheris is fundamentally arrogant—with some reason—and believes he’s being kept from the things he’s owed because of his own merit.

And.

In a place that arranges marriages, his wife and he both want to be together.

Like. I can’t understate how audacious that is for a person who might otherwise be fully selfish and self-centered.

They think of one another constantly. She petitions on his behalf, for his return, even though that’s not a politically astute thing to do, and she does it incessantly. She writes him letters constantly about what’s going on in court, with the understanding that when he returns he’ll need to know. Like, not for a second does one or the other doubt the other is supposed to be there and supposed to be recognized as something extraordinary. They both think that. You can see it in their actions and their regard when they appear together.

The impression I have is basically this is a marriage between a lawyer and a very elegant, composed lobbyist. And both of them are kind of surprised and eager to have found someone who supports and genuinely thinks the other is better than other people at what they do because they both have the types of personalities that get something out of that.

So, let’s look at the interactions between Hesero and all she’s known for maybe the better part of a decade writing love letters to a man she respects and maybe loves, and who respects and loves her in turn.

(Yes, loves. Setheris barely gets back to court before he wants to see his wife. A character can be a dreadful person and have nuances. The man’s abusive and cruel, and…he loves his wife.)

For a person who advises to leave no weakness, leave nothing that can be turned against you, Setheris’ eagerness to see Hesero again stands out. It’s in his almost daring Maia to say a word when he asks to see her, and in the way Maia kind of has to stumble around to even realize he has to grant permission. (Not pressing the weakness is also a source of Setheris’ contempt, possibly.)

So let’s look at Maia’s word, and his marks, and Hesero’s sitting down heavily, and her sincere “He never did such things to me.”

I think Hesero believes herself closest in all the world to Setheris—probably rightfully so at that. They seem to have a very clear mutual regard, and very tested, at that, since the bond’s endured more than a decade apart, and in dire straits in terms of reputation.

Hesero, if she were after status, could have divorced her husband, and distanced herself from him. She didn’t do so. Very much didn’t do so.

Setheris could have probably asked her to come with him, but instead, presumably, endured so she could remain at court. And in such a way so she maintains her elegant dress and composure—both of which things it becomes very clear later in Maia’s reminiscence about Setheris grieving the sale of his estate and clothes, matter to him very much, and maybe, by extent, matter to her. So perhaps it can be read in that he wanted her happy. By his own terms of happiness if not hers.

There’s very much a mutual intent for preservation, and an esteem there that can’t be denied in text clues.

So let’s hit that with abuse allegations from the highest voice in the land, from Hesero’s point of view.

To her?

This is the word of the now-shabby but Soon-To Be-Restored Husband You Love against the word of a skinny, eighteen year old with a scar, trying to fit in to the highest post in the land. A post Hesero’s husband probably has been more than scathing about explaining the reasons he won’t fit in to.

Let’s be real.

Even faced with something jarring, is that enough to jostle you out of something as audacious as love at cost, in an arranged marriage setting where you’re both such good matches?

Setheris maybe regrets striking out while drunk because he does it a total of once. Even Maia’s POV points out it happened a total of once and Setheris seemed to regret it. (It’s not an intellectual response or the response of a bigger, better person. So that tracks.)

But the verbal abuse to the effect of I’m Bigger Stronger And Smarter Than You And Always Will Be continues, because Setheris himself needs assurance of that in his low points, and there’s no one to assure him except the letters of his wife, no one to see his clothes and demeanor and envy him, no one to strike out or strike out at with tongue or with fists because they have no other recourse, thus driving home for him again, his superiority to them, but the inferiority of his situation, and the despair it might never change.

On first reading, Setheris strikes me as the kind of person who says offhand “of course my parents hit me, but look, I turned out fine!” When he very much didn’t turn out fine. And in his assurance of his own intellectual superiority, he completely misses Maia’s Real Needs even while he girds him against invisible foes he thinks he’ll never be ready for. (He, the superior, Maia, the ever-inferior.)

As such, Cousin Setheris is completely blindsided by the lack of gratitude for his hard lessons, and callous to the hardness of them.

He expects greatness because of his abilities, but he’ll never be a good man, always looking over his shoulder and resentfully staring above.

While Maia, who has no talents but a conviction to be kind because he never wants to be the person who rolls over another simply because he expects a position, will be, and is, already, a great man.

He expects nothing. He places trust and he’s rewarded, without care for if he looks to be in control of a situation. He asks for help and is given it. He has loyalty, and doesn’t yet know how to parse it.

Setheris is left struggling for every scrap of what he believes he’s owed and resents anyone who doesn’t give it to him. And even with Maia’s mercy and gentleness he can only ever be ungrateful because he’s always hungry for more, ambitious.

So.

Do I think Hesero divorces him?

…No.

Because he’ll probably ask her for proof, borderline gaslighting, and adoring her. And she’ll gloss over is, because she clearly thinks he’s genuinely a great man deserving of recognition or she wouldn’t work so tirelessly for his restoration, and she maybe likes to be adored as an equal deserving of comforts, banter, recognition.

But…

the memory of cousin Maia’s scarred arm will linger in her head on dark nights when gifts won’t calm, or if her husband’s hit the bottle a bit too much (he likely gets better, with feedback, and people to lord over and preen in front of, I think, but still has bad nights.) and she’ll think about it.

It sits there in the back of her mind and she tells herself she can’t be sure.

And he never hits her.

He never shows that side of himself to her because she has Worth, and Maia very much didn’t. Still doesn’t. Except for the payment of Things Owed For Care. And Maia’s sown doubt and now he has to be careful not to lose the one thing he actually genuinely still has as a jewel to his credit.

And he does, in his own mind, think he provided care and instruction, and constant reminders to be vigilant and trust no one, and always strike swiftly while the iron’s hot. He has no real memory of opportune strikes when given.

He has his position, away from the court. Away from Maia. He’s careful, maybe cowed a bit by the consequences of what he did that he thought wouldn’t matter. Enough to be careful.

Hesero thinks, and doesn’t divorce him.

And Setheris toes the line like he’s expecting an inquisition and brings home jewels and dresses, praises, makes sure to be seen with the elegant wan in good standing. They make sure to be in one another’s corners.

And …hey don’t talk about it but…

There are maybe no children.

Not ever.

And Setheris doesn’t dare ask and doesn’t dare divorce, because they’re both clever people who value one another even when it isn’t advantageous.

But would you have a child with someone like that? If there was a chance?

And they never actually talk about it until maybe it’s too late or almost too late.

I lost the first instance, but the second is on page 154. Literally: ""It's no matter" I said uncomfortably. "Why?" Said Parmorin, with a Witness's gift for asking the worst possible questions. "Because you are the only one suffering?"" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢🙁🙁🙁🙁