Creative Graces

the first rule of cooking is that there are no rules. anything goes do whatever you want forever. the first rule of baking is that if you fuck it up you die

the opposite if mwah is hawm. fucking bite you.

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

I’m just imagining this super ripped guy called Brutus being like ‘YESSS!!! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE FAKE PROSTITUTE!! Now is my time to shine!!’

so I got inspired… and had to make a comic….

*wipes away a single tear* Yes.

Miss Congeniality, but with The Rock instead of Sandra Bullock

My dashboard has been blessed by this post again

ok!

ITS THE OG OMG

Had to be this one.

BRUTUS IS BACK!

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

I recommend just making a bunch of pre prepped meals so that you can just grab one and go back to whatever

i like how at five guys they're like oh you want one burger okay "ONE LITTLE BURGER" and then the guy cooking the burger is like "ONE LITTLE BURGER FOR BABY FAGGOTS THAT CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE PATTY COMING UP" and then if you can't finish it they make you wear a maid costume and handcuff you to the sink in the men's bathroom

Are … are the carnists ok??

yeah i dont work at a carnival or anything but im good im okay i appreciate you asking yo

oh okay pretty common mistake no problem dude but yeah i don't even really go to carnivals or anything even as an attendee

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

For all my uninsured judys out there it's for Walgreens only: walgreens.rxsense.com

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

dollarfor.org saved my broke ass, it can save urs too

When I was uninsured and broke, I still remember the pharmacy tech in a horribly understaffed pharmacy who took the time to find the best coupon for me. I hope they’re doing well

How did I not know this about you?!

Because I don't like talking about myself unprompted because I have a deep-seeded horror of my inevitable metamorphosis into my father?

I’m so glad that things like survivorship bias and statistical outliers became memes I wish more critical thinking skills would become widely-understood this way, I’m not kidding let’s get on this

My momma used to tell us not to fear the noises we heard in the woods at night because if something designed to kill us wanted to kill us then we wouldn’t hear it coming and at the time it was horrifying and unsettling but now I wish we all had heard that at least once growing up

the french beatles

jean, paul, george, et ringeaux

biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning

time for people to do the funniest thing ever

Do not.

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

I wish I spoke Spanish, this probably says something really beautiful