HERE, QUEER, CALCULATING PLOT RELEVANT DEER

“In 1979, a memorable party took place when Carrie Fisher had rented Eric’s place while she was filming *The Empire Strikes Back*, but at the time, Eric was in Tunisia filming *The Life of Brian*. The fun began when Eric returned to London to catch a football match, only to drop by his place and find a lively gathering.

I am level two autistic. I am visibly autistic and always have been. And I still got misdiagnosed as not autistic four times for complete nonsense reasons.

Your regular reminder that any actually crocheted items you see in stores like Target are 100% being made for terrible wages even taking into consideration average incomes in the countries where these things are made. This bag is 14 rows of plain double crochet, 22 (I think) rows of double crochet, ch 1, double crochet, 2 more rows of double crochet at the top, then a strap that Target calls "braided" but looks to me like double crochet and slip stitches.

Absolutely 0% of this bag can be made on a machine. So, this was hours of work of someone only using their own hands and body to make a bag. This was NOT someone being able to set the rules on a machine and let it run with minimal physical work on their part.

So, $30 is a fucking travesty.

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE!

WHAT'S THIS?!

I've never heard of Nest. Let's go to their website! Oooh, what a pretty non-profit website about helping handcrafters make real wages! What criteria must a company meet to get the pretty sticker???

OH! THERE'S A VALIDATION PROCESS!

Who's doing the validating?

"...validators independently conduct validation of their production process and receive confirmation of handcrafted."

So....the companies seeking to claim their products aren't produced in horrendous conditions for sub-par wages are validating their own products are totally handmade and that their employees are totally not being exploited?

And this bag that would take several hours (I stitch faster than you; it takes several hours) still only costs $30???? REALLY?!

Oh, but here's a whole explanation of how Nest identifies handcrafted items, including lists of tools that may be used.

Let's see what they say about knitting/crochet:

Oh, wow! A whole list of supposed crochet machines! That could, if real, benefit crocheters by allowing them to create crochet with the use of a machine that would take some of the stress of the artform off of their bodies! That's neat! Let's duckduckgo these, shall we??

The Crochet Galloon Machine patent info. Which does not describe crochet. Nothing described here is crochet. It's just using hooks to pull yarn where it wants. That doesn't make it crochet. This is a knitting machine creating knit warp (or warp knit? I'm not sure on the lingo, I admit).

Okay, let's try this "Multi-Needle Crochet Machine." First link is an amazon listing for "crochet machine":

The crochet hooks ARE for crochet, but everything else is a knitting machine. So, NOPE!

For the Raschel Crochet Machine? How about this blog debunking that it crochets at all. Whoopsie, doodle. An excerpt:

"Here’s the short answer: there is still no commercially deployed, fully automated machine that makes hand-crochet stitches the way a human does, stitch by stitch, with one active loop and a single hook. The fabrics you see marketed as “machine crochet” are almost always warp-knitted on Raschel or crochet-galloon machines, or they’re other kinds of needlework (like chainstitch embroidery) that visually imitate crochet. They are not hand crochet, and the stitch geometry (the topology of the loops and their interlacing) is different."

This is important because the point is that to get ACTUAL HAND-CROCHETED ITEMS LIKE THE BAG AT THE TOP, YOU CANNOT REPRODUCE THE LOOK WITH A MACHINE.

So, again, $30 for a supposedly ethically sourced tote that takes hours of work to make with ONLY YOUR BODY.

Moving, on the embrodiery-crochet combination machine?

None of these crochet. And, if you go back to the previous link about the Raschel machine, that post includes an explanation of how embroidery machines can make stitches look crochet-ish but aren't actually crochet at all.

We all know how this is gonna end, but let's see what lace crochet machine brings up:

Knitting. Knitting. Lace maker that is NOT duplicating crochet lace. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Lastly, let's look at what Nest considers to be non-handcrafted crochet items:

::seventeen minute sigh::

Let's just start with if you use a knitting machine, then it's not crochet, so that takes bullet point 1 and 3 off the list.

And now let's remember none of these so-called crochet machines Nest has listed actually crochet or even come close. So, that's 2 and 4 removed as well.

So, in short, Nest knows nothing about crochet and appears to be making bank allowing companies to greenwash their terrible labor practices by letting them or their suppliers be their own validators on whether or not their work is 1) handcrafted and 2) done in a way that does not abuse the skilled laborers who are making them.

600+ bags bought, if you look at that first photo again. Each bag crafted by hand by a person who cannot use a machine to lessen the amount of work/effort/stress on the body to create it. For 30 fucking dollars.

I went to Target's website and checked out what else the brand (Shade & Shore) has for sale because if Nest DID care about actual ethical creation of products, then I would think ALL of the Sand & Shore items made in crochet would have the sticker.

Here's everything else Shade & Shore calls crochet that I think is actually crochet. I haven't had reason to be near a Target the last few weeks, so I haven't gone feral in the clothing department actually reviewing everything marked as crochet to see what is crochet and what is machine knit. Based on only the photos (and zooming in), here's what I think is 100% made by hand because it's fucking crochet:

(These blue pants are very hard to tell since it's mesh stitch, but I'm also cutting several that are clearly knitting machine-made, so fuck it. Erring on the side of petty.)

For bathing suits, I only went through tops and diregarded any that were just trim. I am trying to keep focus on items that appear entirely crocheted or at least 95% crocheted with minimal extra work:

NONE OF THESE ITEMS HAS THE ETHICAL HANDCRAFT STICKER. NOT ONE. I WONDER WHY. READ ON AND DISCOVER MY THEORY.

if you didn't see me do it, I ended up duping the bag. It took a little over 5 hours. 5 hours of work divided by $30 is no more than about 6 bucks an hour. Which is NOT a terrible wage in China, where these products are most likely made (pin in that). BUT. crochet pieces like these aren't paid by hour. They're paid by piece. And, in general, you have to hit a quota to paid in full for a week rather than by actual piece. So, if your quota was 10 pieces and you only finished 9, you MIGHT get paid for 9, but you also might get paid less because you didn't meet quota, so you get your pay cut extra because of that.

Anyway. Nest IS aware of piecework. They refer to it as piece rate. If you go into this pdf they have, you can search 'piece rate' and see that 1) it has an entry in the definitions table, and 2) you can see it's referenced 11 more times.

Here's the thing, I KNOW somewhere on the website I saw Nest say something about the average rate of piecework (I will just keep calling it piecework, but I mean piecework/rate), but I can't find it again. I did search using their own spelling and spacing and, well:

And if I may tech writer at you for a moment: If the word is defined in your manuals, then you have fucking search results for it. That even the Standards doc they WANT you to read doesn't pop up makes me think it was intentionally not added to the search. I cannot prove that. But.

I vaguely remember Nest's numbers for what piecework goes for and what they're aiming for. The important thing is, I do still think these items are coming from China, and Chinese piecework tops out around $1.40 according to what I can find easily, and Nest's number was like $1.68, so even their estimate for piecework does not appear to be based on actual research.

Sorry for the side track, but it bugs me I can't find that page where they listed it and also pisses me off how easily I can prove they're not even trying to build on easily found facts.

Carrying on. This is Nest's self-written explanation of their goal:

[transcription: Nest partners with vendors, brands, and retailers who are committed to prioritizing social protections for all (emphasis from Nest) workers within a supply chain, including those most vulnerable to labor exploitation. Nest works with philanthropic organizations and donors who want to drive social impact through fair work and systems change solutions.]

If the goal of Nest is to make sure all workers are protected in the supply chain, why are they letting their sticker get slapped on a single item from a larger brand that very clearly does NOT create items that meet their own standards for ethical creation?

If the goal of the sticker is to let consumers know when a handmade product is ethically created by a company, why can Target slap one on the bag that may or may not (we know where I land) meet their standards but ALSO be fine with the rest of the line NOT meeting their standards?

How much does Nest make to complete their so-called "third-party" reviews of a corporation's supply chains to provide their input on what counts as ethically made items? How detailed is their review of a single company's supply chains to be certain the numbers they are being given to "prove" ethical creations are truly accurate? I don't know. I can't find any easy breakdown of how Nest works. You have to contact them and ask. For a quote, I presume.

But also, how much do I trust a non-profit that's helping clean up Target's crochet exploitation image they've been fighting for 3 years at least? Not at all. Especially when they've been partnered since 2016 (scroll down and choose the 'Nest' option) and it's only this year that Nest seems to have gotten around to certifying this one, single product out of the many that appear to be crocheted from this single brand.

And why is Target comfortable saying how they're working to be more ethical while slapping the sticker on a single product from a brand that we all know is not meeting that standard for any other product because the sticker isn't on any of those? For the record, every thing else I listed here as crochet WOULD take more time than that single bag. So, yeah, they definitely are not being ethically sourced if Target is still selling them for no more than $40 a pop.

I'm not surprised Target is a bunch of fuckbags. I'm not surprised a non-profit claiming to be about ethical ideals is a bunch of fuckbags (It is unfortunately common). I am mostly just tired of having to defend my art and the art of others to be worth the cost and then watching companies like Target lie through their teeth to pretend like they care.

"I do a lot of pet portraits, but if it's for myself I like to paint fancy animals."

"Like a winged tiger?"

"Yes! You've seen that?"

"Ah. The canvas you used-"

"I got it cheaply, but it's good quality."

I wanted to make a wiki about it but I don't have time for it.

The point was to try to encompass every "superpower" I could think of into a magic system.

You can check it out here !

The writing part is done, and I've done enough spells to provide an example for each element. The goal is to fill up that huge array eventually! >:]

Image description: photo of a brown sign with white text that reads: "You can't save everything cute, eat everything that tastes good, and kill everything you're afraid of and expect a working ecosystem to come out of it." -- Flip Nicklin, wildlife photographer