Stumbling Mostly Upwards @chibisquirt - Tumblr Blog

“Does it…Does it feel like agony for you too?”.

heated rivalry♥️

Had a job interview today so I’m rewarding myself with some angsty hollanov

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greymatter13

Hardison: “You know, Fermi’s paradox says that it’s improbable for other life forms to exist.”

Eliot: “Yeah? Well, Drake’s equation shows that orbiting around the hundred billion stars in our galaxy there’s up to ten thousand planets with technological civilization. [smiles at Hardison who gives him a surprised look] You never know when you might have to fight an alien.”

–Leverage (The First Contact Job, S5E3)

bethanyactually

“I’ll tell you, the Stargate, I wish you had it because there’s a lost shot, one we could not do. When we bring the team back together at the beginning of Season Two, we had little moments of what everybody said what they did during the break and Eliot’s was going to be ‘What did you do?’ and we were gonna flash to the Stargate with him in the gear: ‘All right, but this is the last time.’ And then flash back and him going ‘No…’ But the Stargate was broken! It was thrown away.”

–John Rogers to Dean Devlin, DVD commentary for “The Last Dam Job”

(x) (x)

letsstealsomethiefjuice

Listen. LISTEN. You can pry “Eliot was on a gate team” from my cold dead little hands for a whole list of reasons but mainly because nothing would be more hysterical then watching Hardison trying to understand Eliot working at Cheyenne Mountain. Know why?

The cover story for the Stargate Program was that it was doing deep space telemetry for NORAD. Please imagine Hardison trying to wrap his brain around Eliot spending what, four years?, doing deep space telemetry. And Eliot just shrugs because

“I can’t have a hobby, Hardison, is that what your saying? That’s just stereotyping, man, that’s wrong.” He keeps it up until they’re actually in the gate room and then he slaps Hardison on the back and grins.

“I’m just messing with you man, I was fighting aliens. Come meet Teal’c, bet he’ll let Parker climb him like a rock wall, it’s fun.”

chibisquirt

Also the Stargate Program had Sam Carter doing their IT, so it's like the one place he can't just hack into!

greymatter13

Hardison: “You know, Fermi’s paradox says that it’s improbable for other life forms to exist.”

Eliot: “Yeah? Well, Drake’s equation shows that orbiting around the hundred billion stars in our galaxy there’s up to ten thousand planets with technological civilization. [smiles at Hardison who gives him a surprised look] You never know when you might have to fight an alien.”

–Leverage (The First Contact Job, S5E3)

bethanyactually

“I’ll tell you, the Stargate, I wish you had it because there’s a lost shot, one we could not do. When we bring the team back together at the beginning of Season Two, we had little moments of what everybody said what they did during the break and Eliot’s was going to be ‘What did you do?’ and we were gonna flash to the Stargate with him in the gear: ‘All right, but this is the last time.’ And then flash back and him going ‘No…’ But the Stargate was broken! It was thrown away.”

–John Rogers to Dean Devlin, DVD commentary for “The Last Dam Job”

(x) (x)

letsstealsomethiefjuice

Listen. LISTEN. You can pry “Eliot was on a gate team” from my cold dead little hands for a whole list of reasons but mainly because nothing would be more hysterical then watching Hardison trying to understand Eliot working at Cheyenne Mountain. Know why?

The cover story for the Stargate Program was that it was doing deep space telemetry for NORAD. Please imagine Hardison trying to wrap his brain around Eliot spending what, four years?, doing deep space telemetry. And Eliot just shrugs because

“I can’t have a hobby, Hardison, is that what your saying? That’s just stereotyping, man, that’s wrong.” He keeps it up until they’re actually in the gate room and then he slaps Hardison on the back and grins.

“I’m just messing with you man, I was fighting aliens. Come meet Teal’c, bet he’ll let Parker climb him like a rock wall, it’s fun.”

eddi-3-sbats

inspired by those communism poster

legotwink08

still not over the fact that shane hollander was told by an insanely attractive man that he was going to come to his room for sexual favours, and his first instinct was, yes. let's put on a suit.

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gremlinnddraws

It all works out

The caption is for ME because of what the last ep did to my psyche

libraryofnes

He was so real for this, I was the same Connor.🤝🫶🏻

Connor Storrie via Instagram

libraryofnes

OH MY GOD! HUDSON.❤️‍🔥

Hudson Williams photographed by Davis Bates for Wonderland

geonbaeeeesblog

they are ruining my life rn in the best way possible 🫠🫠🫠🫠

jakeyjake22diary

You guys don't get how Slavic Ilya looks to a person who grew up in Russia, that mf looks like a big chunk of my old classmates and friends. I don't mean his talking because he sounds like he learned Russian as a teenager from old sitcoms.

I mean the fucking pout and frown, the way he's so grumpy despite liking someone, the way he calls shane by his second name because he's scared itll be too personal, the way he can't keep his mouth shut during sex, especially those little bits of hair by the side of his face, like BRO whoever did the casting for Connor storrie did a fucking amazing job (I'll personally eat their ass) because when I first watched the show I was like 'oh second gen russian immigrant, my bro' then I found out that mf is from Texas 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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gremlinnddraws

“You killed me Hollander. I am dead”.

spinejackel

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

xeno-lalia

I have one of these and I keep it in my IT toolkit because that teeny little screwdriver is the right side for laptop casings, but because it lives inside a large object it’s harder to misplace than a standard tiny screwdriver. Also because the look on a client’s face when you bring out a brass hammer to fix their laptop is absolutely wild.

lightweightkate

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

uncharacter-istically

[Video caption:

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

End caption.]

loveitorreblogit

Bitch neither I work for Wayne Industries, they got better offers than work these clowns:

gandalfsbignaturals

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"

Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.

thequeeninyellowlace

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

youngerfrankenstein

To put it very bluntly.

You will always make a better impact helping people who need it than trying to hurt people you think deserve it.

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