Stumbling Mostly Upwards

But as a fan of hockey from 1994 to 2018ish, a LOT of hockey players have that flat unemotional look.

This is one of the most emotionally conservative sport off the ice. Even on the ice, the players are very aware of the thousands of eyes on them.

Hockey is also a world where you're rewarded for being humble and bland, from a VERY early age. Players with huge egos are often punished for just being themselves. See: PK Subban. I'm still salty over what the Habs did to him. Compared to the acceptable ego of Patrick Roy, I could punch someone.

I'm gonna pick on Eric Lindros here. This was between his rookie and sophomore year. Compare this to how Shane is:

This was AFTER he already caused a major scandal by refusing to report to the team who drafted him, the Quebec Nordiques. It caused a major trade and may have been part of why the Nordiques folded and moved to Denver to become the Colorado Avalanche.

Eric is a good one to research for your Shane fics. We're lucky he's still alive. He's lucky he remembers his own name. He's one of the reasons I hate the NHL commissioner with a passion about CTE and how players are treated. How the entire league and hockey fans treated him. I made Lindros jokes too. I gotta live with that.

Coming back, I can see how people can see Shane as autistic. As Chibi said to me, the circle between hockey players and autism is probably a large venn diagram.

But Shane also just reads as career hockey player to me. Another reference, even closer to Shane. Paul Kariya:

Take a moment and ask yourself, a project like this requires a lot of time, money and dedication of resources, why would scientists dedicate that time to something that could just be done by a tree?

The answer is they wouldn't. So that means this claim requires further investigation!

This project is called LIQUID 3, and it's not meant for cities with wide open spaces, it's meant for cities like Belgrade in Serbia. These cities are densely populated and heavily polluted, to the point where pollution actually chokes out current trees and makes creating green spaces difficult.

Liquid 3 was a PhD scientists answer to these problems. The microalgae tank is intended for spaces where you either:

Don't have enough space to plant full trees, or

Don't have enough time to plant trees and wait for them to grow up.

The tank is extremely efficient when you consider the amount of space needed compared to the amount of CO2 turned into oxygen. The tank can operate throughout the winter. And most importantly, it can be quickly set up in areas that desperately need relief from air pollution NOW not in 10 years when trees are done growing. Children currently suffocating on polluted air can't wait for trees to grow, they need to be taken care of now, and Liquid 3 is one of the ways to take care of them. Depending on the species of microalgea used, a number have shown a pretty amazing capacity to pull heavy metals out of the air which is something trees can get choked up by.

The tanks aren't just tanks either! Liquid 3 have solar panels placed on top, they have lighting and mobile phone charging, and they work as public benches. The designers of it want to encourage green spaces where there's room, but where there isn't room or time, Liquid 3 can step in. Realistically, this isn't a replacement for trees. It's replacing boring metal city benches with new, cooler benches that also clean the air (and have at least some heating during the winter).

Not only that, but the microalgea that grows is native to Serbia and all that microalgea has a ton of great uses! It makes for great fertilizer, compost, wastewater treatment, cleaner biofuels and even for helping create new tanks for further air purification. They only require a quick algae divide once a month, and the produced algae can be carted off to where ever it's needed. This makes them effective solutions for areas that can't sustain complex installations.

Shane has been in face offs against Ilya for years, even if they didn't have their thing of the ice, he knows his face by memory. Which is why he notices when a mole in the underside of his jaw gets bigger.

It's the 2015-2016 season, middle of the hookup era, and he is trying to get this motherfucker to see a dermatologist, but nothing he says works. Ilya either distracts him or dismisses him with some stupid denial like russians don't get melanoma.

But the mole keeps changing and now its not even the same consistent color and Shane has googled the signs so he says fuck it, I'm gonna make him.

Shane uses his barely active public account to tweet a list of Boston based dermatologist and tags Ilya in each one.

This of course goes crazy with the fans because what the hell? Shane Hollander? Tweeting at Ilya Rozanov? Doctors? This is a very advanced very strange chirp? Is he calling his moles ugly?

The next time the Boston Raiders have a game the media scrum doesn't even try to pretend they came for another thing, they want to know about the Dermatologist Thread.

Ilya, at this point frustrated because his moles are fine, they're perfect, why is this a problem, so he answers.

"Hollander should mind his own businesses, he wants me to visit stupid skin doctor because he sees mole. I have lots of moles, always had, there's no problem here, it's normal mole!"

And Shane is getting out of his own game a few hours later, prepares himself to answer about the fumble in the second period when the media comes, and it's surprised when, instead, he gets shown a clip of Ilya's earlier interview. Now, this fucking reckless motherfucker, Shane explodes.

"You fucking asshole! You want to die by driving a Porsche into a wall be my guest! But you're gonna die of the most stupid thing in existence! A MOLE! A mole you decided not to check even if it changed size and color and it's in your fucking face where we can all see it every fucking face off with arena lights shining right into it! Why? Because you're stupid and you don't want to go to the doctor and you don't respect the sun. You're gonna die from a perfectly preventable thing and then what am I gonna do? I'm gonna be the best hockey player in mi generation with 10 cups and Harts and Conn Smythes and no competition because you're gonna be in the history books as that one promising dude who died from a mole. A mole! Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen."

That one goes viral. That one breaches containment and goes internacional meme viral.

Shane Hollander Skin Cancer Awareness King.

There's "Go to the fucking doctor and use your fucking sunscreen" T-Shirts.

Shane Hollander angry sneering face with the text "RESPECT THE SUN" under it.

Ilya Rozanov gets bullied relentlessly about it, everyone asking if he has gone to the doctor yet. He doesn't answer. Eventually, he appears with a new scar in his jaw where a wonky mole used to be.

you know that your boss the lord chancellor is ambitious, and since you've read his letter you know he's stalling the proper procedures, possibly deliberately, and will certainly try to benefit from the power vacuum and presumable incompetence of said emperor—the only thing you, or anyone, know about him is vague rumors that he might be insane.

you arrive at the place and it's the most badly lit, cramped, dilapidated, drafty, horrible manor you have ever delivered to. the person who is presumably your new emperor greets you half-dressed in dirty clothes. he is barefoot, his hair is not even braided, and he is accompanied by a man who is possibly drunk and blatantly contemptuous to both of you.

despite this ridiculousness, you follow the proper protocols (as much as there are protocols for this situation) and get your letter delivered. the emperor proves himself less Maybe Actually Feral and more just... possibly terrified, most especially of his guardian. while you are processing this you are informed that you are to escort the two of them back to court on the same airship by which you arrived, which you have to know was not part of the lord chancellor's plan and may very well lose you your job.

this might as well happen, i guess. it's not like you really have a choice. maybe you can just scurry away once you arrive at court—oh the emperor wants you to show him around. OH he wants to know who you are. like actually you think he might care about you. ok new plan. fuck your job, fuck the lord chancellor, this guy is your life now.