Stumbling Mostly Upwards

On Monday, from 1:30 PM to 1:37 PM, several residents have volunteered to host a brief tutorial in the laundry room for anyone interested in learning more about proper use of the equipment.

That is a leviathan passing beneath the ice of my peaceful fishing hut if ever I saw one.

The passive-aggressive nature of declaring it will take only seven minutes, but precisely seven minutes, for people to actually learn how to use the laundry room is amazing (I'm figuring five minutes to present and two minutes for questions).

1. Good laundry room etiquette: when you put your laundry in the washer, set a timer for the length of the wash cycle. It's good manners to move your laundry from washer to dryer within 15 minutes of the wash cycle ending. Don't be anxious though. It's not truly rude until you delay more than 30-60 minutes. This depends on how many machines there are -- the fewer machines, the better it is to remove the laundry sooner.

1a. Rather than sort by color, sort by type -- undies and soft shirts in one pot, trousers and heavy shirts in another. Most clothes are colorfast these days so washing the type rather then the color is more important.

2. When putting your laundry in the dryer, check the lint trap. This is a space between the inner area and outer area of the dryer at the bottom of it. Sometimes it's a tray you have to pull out and sometimes it's just a gap that looks like it's covered in felt. If it looks "felt-y", scrape it out with your fingertips and toss the felt. If you're feeling confused, Google "dryer lint trap" and look at photos, this will help.

3. If the lint trap is empty, awesome! When you take your clothes out after they're dry, check the lower front of the dryer and remove any felt or wool you see.

4. Some hot tips: if you can avoid it, don't machine-dry "delicates" (bras, some tank tops, flimsy shirts) or t-shirts that are 100% cotton. It's not that vital, don't get nuts about it, just be aware. Hang dry that stuff on hangers if you can. Don't use fabric softener, it's expensive nonsense. Also don't do the "deep clean" shit you see on tiktok, that's also nonsense.

99% of all laundry can be machine washed and dried these days. Don't freak out if you put something in the drier that shouldn't be. One cycle won't ruin things, most of the time.

The main thing I observe is that a lot of employees recommend makeup that is chemically incompatible. For example, if you ask them to recommend you a foundation and concealer, a lot of times they’ll pick two products that are chemically immiscible, so they’ll NEVER blend together successfully.

By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.

LMAO the universe is trying to silence me. This is my third attempt to write this rec list and I've switched browsers to do so. Third time's the charm hopefully

Okay so obligatory disclaimer I am not good a curating fic recs. When I read something I like I just go :] and clap like a seal and then forget to bookmark anything ever. That being said:

The big one for TPE (Total Power Exchange--a specific lifestyle dynamic that I believe there is subtle canonical evidence for in Hollanov, though nothing particularly overt and very ignorable for those who do not wish to see it; not a judgement, just a fact) is of course Decisions, Decisions by @jewelledfoxes. Always an absolute delight to read this fic, which I must have done at least half a dozen times by now. This one is also big for me because it explores a lot of Ilya's nonsexual dominance, which is important for me.

All of @creamsiclemelt's fic is amazing and so crucial to the Dom Ilya discussion, especially Ilya as a mean AND loving Dom (They're not mutual exclusive! They never have been!) If sadism is your thing or if you're even just curious about Ilya as a sadist, I'd recommend it's like you never had wings, Very very gorgeous fic about how the hockey is sex and sex is hockey.

One that I read very recently but has been sticking with me is hot, hot, sweat, sweet by livelyvague ( @shnehollander) which hits a few buttons for me, namely a flavor of dacryphilia I hadn't seen before. Basically, Ilya orders Shane to cry on his cock because he needs to see him do it before he comes. Heady stuff! Also, the title is from Rent, which is always fun.

@probablily's entire body of work is very worth a perusal. all my perversions isn't tagged with Dom Ilya but he haunts the narrative. It's Shane POV and very much an exploration of Shane's shame, (#hisshame) and humiliation kink, which Ilya facilitates of course. prinesi myach is their most recent work and it's more straightforward dom Ilya, but also pet play, and also about Ilya knowing what's good for Shane even when Shane doesn't know himself which is a classic Dom/sub dynamic that you can really sink your teeth into. Pet play isn't even really one of my big things and I read it twice in one sitting. You know it's good.

the profounder the stain by the Anonymous author of perfect from now on is another one that is not specifically tagged with Dom Ilya but that he is very present in. Their Ilya in general always has some very delicious casual dominance going on. There are several points in this fic where he comes through, such as the line where it mentioned that Ilya gives Shane head often, but rarely on his knees; and the line where Ilya just jerks his head to tell Shane it's time to come give him his goodbye kiss. Very dynamic. Also, there's a line in there that I think about constantly where Ilya slips out while Shane is riding him and Shane cries a bit and Ilya says, "I'm coming back baby" and it's like. [horny balloon emoji x1000]

I recced this one already this week but it was in a comment section so: always starving, never full by @coffeeinallcaps was verrry good. More about Shane's exhibitionism, his humiliation kink and his shame, but Dom Ilya is there and he's pulling his weight. I like this dynamic for their hookup era as well--a bit more casual and friendly than it's portrayed in canon and in a lot of fanworks but that kinda gets me going. So.

Everything by @bugslibraryy is sooooo good. Theirs is more of a soft Dom Ilya paired with needy Shane and all of it is just so sweet, like a piece of candy. Some of the things Ilya says to Shane in their fics are still so sweetly humiliating, so even if your thing is mean Dom Ilya I think you'll get a few of your jollies. Most of their stuff is housed directly on Tumblr but if you're wanting something specific i would recommend the installment from their Nurse Shane/Security Guard Ilya AU where they have midnight sex. So good and so buzzy and sweet. Bug and I share a love of combining comfort and eroticism.

Shoutout to @mybloodstream-caffeine, whose Tumblr I routinely peruse like the morning paper. They have fics of their own and routinely post about their own extremely correct opinions and those of others. I adore their musings on both dom Ilya AND sub Shane, which are two related but distinct topics that both deserve love. Lately they've been musing on overstimulation Shane, which is of course always delicious.

Dear fellow ESL speakers, be honest: how often do you find yourselves saying "yes" in your native language when speaking English to English native speakers?

Yes, the question is born out of my frustration at all the Heated Rivalry fanfictions that have Ilya saying "da" far too often and in absolutely normal situations. Sorry, but that's not how reverting to your native language works, actually.

I have been known to use my native language in the following situations (but it's Linguistics, really):

spotting a horrifying pest I am mortally afraid of: screams in native language

getting hurt: the equivalent of "ouch" in my mother tongue (sorry but when in pain I can't be expected to translate my instinctive reaction).

counting: if I count in English I focus on the words not the numbers, so it's a pointless exercise.

frustration: you know when you're trying to do something, but for some reason you're not having any success? (looking at you, demonic jar I can't open) That's when the native language comes out. It will be either a persuasive "come on!" or an angry "why won't you open you evil jar" depending on the number of attempts. It will be, invariably, in my native language.

tiredness: I barely remember my own native language when I'm tired. I'll try my best in English but be ready for grammar to go out the window and for a few choice words in my mother tongue, mostly mumbled beyond comprehension.

For balance, I should also add some other situations when I totally use my native language on purpose because of semantics, thus I whole-heartedly approve those usages in fanfiction (but it's still Linguistics, really):

terms of endearment: yes, darling and sweatheart and honey and what-not are fine. However, I will call my loved ones by names my heart resonates with on a deeper level, and that's going to be in my native language.

saying "I love you": now, the English language is awful for expressing love because you people only have ONE VERB, whereas there are MANY different kinds of love. So I will say "I love you " in my mother tongue, it's just better that way, trust me.

idioms that I love so I will teach to my foreign loved ones, with the only purpose of using them in conversation. And also because everyone needs enrichment.

insults: if you've just tried to run me over with your car while I was crossing the street with the PEDESTRIAN GREEN LIGHT ON, you bet I'll have words while you speed away. And those words will be in my native language (let's file this under fear and/or anger).