Where Is My Wizard Hat?

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something

Columbo is the only vibes based detective. He just goes up to a rich asshole with a completely flawless alibi and goes “you did it.” Zero evidence. Just vibes. And he’s always right.

Not just blind, literally missing an eye! He lost his right eye when he was 3 due to a retinoblastoma. That’s why he would squint like that.

I’m absolutely DYING. THIS IS PERFECTION. 🥹

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

And now I’m crying in the stinky bathroom at work, thank you.

Good goddamn, RIGHT IN THE FEELS... 😭😭😭😭😭

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

We’re happy to have you!