Biblio Aesthetica

the trouble is, you think you have time.

and better

And the answer is, we don't.

The unhoused people who come here seeking refuge 99% of the time understand that they will be kicked out if they misbehave.

The people you have to watch out for are Jessica, who only came because the kid she didn't want had to visit for a homework assignment and she just *needs* to yell at her child for asking to borrow two books or stay an extra five minutes, or Michael, who came in to look at porn on our computers for whatever fucking reason, or Karen who just wanted to come by to throw a fit that the particular book she wanted was checked out and harrass our staff about our collection being too limited.

And we did what we could to help. He was incredibly kind and patient despite his obvious anxiety and stress, more than most able bodied, housed patrons are to us under much less dire conditions. I liked knowing that we were the first place he came.

We have so many people like this who come in everyday. Many are quiet and keep to themselves, but sometimes they talk to us.

They tell us about how they're taking a few courses on a scholarship they applied for from our library's computer at the local community college to get their diploma. Or ask about a manga or dvd or book we might have to help them pass the time.

One woman, who comes in daily with her tattered walker always says hello to me and likes to work on the new jigsaw puzzle with me when we set one out.

So like, treat unhoused people like people. Treat disabled people like people. I don't want my library to feel like the only safe space in the world, but I'm glad it can be one of them.

HELLO YOUNG FRIEND. I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying the fic! 

I’ve been thinking over this ask since you sent it, hence the delay, and I think the problem with giving advice is that as a middle-teen, so much of your life is just dominated by your parents and your school. So the kind of advice I’m going to give, it depends to at least a small extent on what kind of parents you have, what kind of culture you live in, what kind of school you go to. Also it’s been a long time since I was 15. So take me with a grain of salt, yeah? 

Broadly speaking, and only you will know the truth of this, the great thing about being 15 is that the consequences of everything are not as big or bad as you think. There are still a lot of consequences, like…don’t drink and drive, if you get pulled over or kill someone there will be Consequences. But for dumb personal stuff…I wish I’d started dying my hair when I was 15. Who was realistically going to stop me? I might have had some shouting matches with my mother about it but she wasn’t going to kick me out of the house for having blue hair. I wish I’d cut classes to be with my friends more. I wish I’d engaged in more campus activism instead of being afraid of getting a detention. 

Obviously, go to school, learn hard, and be good, but like…if your friends want to cut school and go to a concert, go with them. Very few mistakes you make when you’re a teenager will matter when you’re 30, but the stuff you could have done and didn’t will be hanging around rolling its eyes at you.

But also: learn how to say no when you’re uncomfortable with something. Not “sorry, no,” not “maybe no”, just learn how to say “No” and “I don’t want to” and “That’s a bad idea.” It doesn’t matter what you’re eventually saying no to – just be able to say “No” confidently and without fear of what the other person will say. Be able to say it repeatedly. So that when you need to, you can. Too much emphasis is placed in our society on what we say no to, and almost none to how we say it. No one will ever have so much power in your life that their disapproval of you for saying no will be worse than the discomfort of saying yes. 

Also, your wonderful brain is still growing, and I know when I was fifteen it was a little like having a permanent concussion: I never seemed to be able to articulate what I meant, and I made dumb decisions. All the time! So treat yourself kindly when you make decisions, and always try to explore your options first. If the decision is going to impact how you live your life as an adult, talk to an adult who made the same decision when they were your age and ask them to explain how it really feels.

But most importantly, if you’re happy and you’re having fun, then you’re doing exactly what you should to to live your best fifteen-year-old life. There will always be things you regret doing or not doing, but that will be true for every age you ever are. So if you’re happy, don’t worry too much about how much happier you could be. Put that nervous energy into something else, like making new art or sharing around that happiness or plotting weird shit to do with your friends. 

Okay, two last things:

1. Make movies on your phone, or anyway someone’s phone. I would have KILLED for a video camera when I was 15. If I had the kind of time and energy I had at 15 and a video camera in my pocket I’d have been the Spielberg of my high school. Besides, you’ll love these when you’re 40.

2. I failed my driving test twice before I passed it, and I turned out mostly okay. Just in case you don’t pass the first time, don’t get discouraged. 

do not get IR blocking fabric or thick wool to cover your nose and mouth

do not get IR blocking sunglasses since facial recognition has moved up to targeting and identifying the upper face

do not avoid having your phone or any bluetooth devices around these cameras as they can detect and track those signals

do not buy cheap green lasers 1 milliwatt or above from etsy or walmart or amazon (i will not try and find a link if you ask)

do not use them to fry those fuckers from a distance damage the delicate inner sensors by pointing the beam in the lenses

AND unless you want to cost Flock more money in repairs, do not buy a small circle saw or a reciprocating saw and cut down the pole

OR do not climb said poles, spray paint on the solar panels, cover the lens with paint or a sticker, then use bolt cutters to sever the wires

when doing all these things, DO NOT avoid using latex gloves as fingerprints can leak through

DO NOT USE DEFLOCK TO FIND FLOCK SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS NEAR YOU

remember, flock is for YOUR safety :) even though crime rates have not gone down since they were implemented, they're being abused to track down exes and s/os, and many face pools or houses or schools or gymnasiums! Where there are no liscence plates to be found!

DO NOT DO THESE THINGS and enjoy a life under surveillance!

enjoy living in the country where 87,000 of these cameras were used to track down a woman who got an abortion!

enjoy living in the country where there's no consequences for a flock exec to watch a inside of a gymnastics place without their knowledge!

Remember, this is their American Dream.