Musings of a busy mind

me, an elder fandom veteran, suddenly having anne rice flashbacks:

no.

NO.

starting to rock back and fourth.

you do not understand.

you were born into an age of peace. i was there Gandalf. i was there three thousand years ago. i remember the cease and desists. i remember authors hunting fanfic writers for sport. i remember when every fic opened with a disclaimer because we genuinely thought it might protect us.

we do not charge money for the copyrighted gay wizard stories.

do not tempt fate youngling.

step away from the paywall.

that is how you summon the ancient evils.

No "buy me a kofi"

No links to patreon or other money-making sites or apps

Okay. What literary criticism IS, is like taking a mechanical clock apart to see all the gears and learn how it fits together and approach your next clock with more knowledge of what makes it tick.

Incidentally, this is why I don't care that the recent Wuthering heights wasn't realistic period dress or society etc. It was blatantly symbolic (and Symbolic!) and wasn't trying for realism or period accuracy, so I don't criticise it for period inaccuracy. Like, who walks across the moors in a massive tulle gown in real life? No one ever, and that's the point. It's obviously performance, and that's what its going for. My criticisms are based on other criteria.

But this new adaptation of S&S seems realist - the colour palette and grading, the costumes and hair that aren't accurate but look like something real people at some point in time have worn, the characters that read like real(ish) modern women... It's trying to read as realist without being realistic and just. What's the point in setting it in the past then?? Why adapt Sense and Sensibility, a realistic realist novel, into an unrealistic realist movie?

I'm just so tired of earth tones being "realist." People wore bright clothes! The past wasn't drab, honestly it might have been brighter than now given our whole obsession with beige minimalism.

But no, it's not realistic unless it's BROWN and BORING

This is just modern minimalism imposed on the past. Just make a modern.

a) If you are doing Jane Austen, you are doing the top of society, percentage-wise. Stop lying to yourself. (Even the Dashwoods. They're poor in comparison to their previous situation but they still have incomes and more to the point, their old clothes.) They have servants. There is someone waiting to help them change clothes.

b) Oh my god it does not take hours to twist someone's hair up and stick a comb in it, and cosmetics were minimal. The alternative to pristine is not "full blown mess".

There are a shitton of videos on Youtube about people putting on period clothes or doing period hair, often with explaining the various parts of it and giving close-up views of cool details, and even with narrating everything it still only takes 10-15 minutes max to get into outfits from eras that have much more elaborate clothing than the Regency. Hairstyles are similar. And they didn't wear much makeup. Compare that with the time it takes to do a trendy blow-out hairstyle and full makeup today, and it may actually take less time to get ready in the Regency period.

Any movie, no matter how accurate it is, is going to change things for the sake of making things more palatable to modern audiences. That's part of theater. The question is which things are they changing, what message is the audience receiving, and most importantly, does it serve the plot and the characters and the themes. And usually, it doesn't!

Here's the thing about costumes in theater and movies. A character's clothes and styling should tell you something about that character. Here is a shot from a stage version of Les Mis. You can tell that the woman crouched down is decently prosperous; you can tell that the woman behind her standing up is, well, dirt poor. You can tell that the man kneeling down is closer to the crouching woman in status than to the standing woman. You can tell their relative social status at a glance without any further information.

Besides class and gender, costuming can be used to tell you how a character is feeling, their relationship to other characters, their attitudes towards tradition and generational conflicts, and so much more. Are they conservative or a free spirit? Are they shy or outgoing? Are they angry or happy? Costuming and styling choices are character choices--so many times, actors will say that their character's costumes changed how they inhabited that character, how they played them.

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

How to be an archery MENACE (without a bow)

A lot of us did stuff like this as kids, and to be fair, kids know what they’re about when it comes to having fun.

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

Clark’s introducing her around.  “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”

You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.