I got 99 problems Madeleine & Joey are all of them

You get there and all the pretty boys look up from drinking from the reservoir and gallop away like gazelle

Sprusilla makes me insane. Dru is so doomed, so broken and wronged and tragic. She picked William because he was kind, he was a lover, he was good and loyal and romantic and innocent. And he was her knight, even when she couldn't love him, even through the worst of the manipulation and suffering and dependency that Angel inflicted on her. He was kind and loyal even as an evil, corrupted vampire. Even when she was crazy and cruel and Lost. It's like she sought him out. And he would have kept loving her! He does still actually! He would have stayed!!! But despite this, she knows before him that he loves Buffy. It breaks her heart, because it was not what he was supposed to do. But of course, he's a lover and loyal and a Knight. She mercifully and kindly (though he doesn't understand yet) lets him go, gives him the chance to move on from his intended purpose, the very reason she created him. And he gets to be Good again, gets to regain what she had stolen from her and will never have again. It is fated, and it is known by her well before it all unfolds. And some part of him will never stop loving her, never stop regretting what was done to her, what he was for her, even with a love as all encompassing as the one he has for Buffy

- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible

^^^This though

if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher

- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS.  It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.

Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while

-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.

-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.

I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience

Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?

I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman

Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.

I love this post.

I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale “feminine” awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female character’s POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the women’s lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were “heavy” or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

They have to keep it on easy going Beethoven like Ode to Joy here to ensure a more docile response. They cant play In the Hall of the Mountain King cause they were already burning down venues when Grieg dropped that one back in 1875, today there would be a radioactive crater.

Oh… this is how you’d get me to a festival. That’s worth the heat and overwhelm