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Keni
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@theartofmadeline
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tannertan36
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@xanadontit
Oh cool my ābarfing when I get my periodā thing is back again. Been awhile. Didnāt miss it.
Other than that I feel completely fine.
Thoughts and prayers to E who literally jumped out of the way so I could make it to the garbage can.
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Thinking about asking my 13 year old cousin to be my life coach. I mean Iām not handling life great so how much worse could she do?
MIL called on Sunday to let E know her eldest brother passed away. Not entirely unexpected (heād been in poor health for years) but sheās still understandably sad.
I put a card in the mail Monday. Like a person.
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E said the top of his head kind of hurts to the touch and was worried about some sort of nerve damage.
Yāall he has a sunburn.
Huzzah! My mom and stepdad are speaking to me again.
I sent my mom a letter and stepdad a Fatherās Day card. Let my mom know Iām ready to talk when she is.
She asked to speak yesterday (Sunday) and she aired her grievances, mostly NOT directed AT me. But it was important I understand how very difficult the celebration of life was (and related: how great a sacrifice she made for me by being there. No one held a gun to her head!) for HER. She also flat out lied about her untimely exit. Just a lot of bullshit. But according to her weāre āgoodā now.
Stepdadās beef was that I didnāt mention him or my mom in my speech about my dad at my dadās memorial. My mom felt that was an unrealistic expectation but that yes it would have been nice if I acknowledged them. I just. What. So when stepdad dies should I mention my dad and stepmom? I was saying good bye to my dad. Sometimes things arenāt about her/them.
My takeaway is that while I wonāt be making some big proclamation itās obvious they arenāt safe people for me, emotionally speaking, and feel entitled to a lot of attention and public kudos for being supportive. I thought the reward for that was having a mutually supportive relationship where thereās give and take but apparently not.
Stepdad started laying it on thick about how Iām the best kid in the whole world and heās so lucky. Well you iced me out for two weeks and went off on me not even 12 hours after my dadās funeral so I canāt be that great.
Tina FeyĀ as Liz LemonĀ inĀ 30 Rock (2006ā2013)
Tomorrow is an open house at my dad and stepmomās house. Well I guess just stepmom now. Itās basically for anyone who couldnāt make it to the memorial and for acquaintances around town who asked about a funeral but due to limited space we couldnāt accommodate everyone. This is very much my stepmomās thing. I feel like I have to be āonā and talk to people and I just want a normal fucking weekend. Also big ups to my stepmom for picking Fatherās Day weekend for this. Love that for me.
It doesnāt help that my mom and stepdad arenāt currently speaking to me and the big event was kind of a shitshow. I donāt want to keep doing this; Iām not comforted by being around a ton of people! But my stepmom is and I donāt want my brother to be on his own with this.
My uncle (one of the people who made the memorial a mess) thinks there should be yet another event in their hometown where he still lives. And sure go for it, man. You plan this one. I am DONE. The Dead Dad Roadshow ends tomorrow. I cannot keep doing this for other people!
Anyway my brother requested snickerdoodles so Iām baking snickerdoodles. Baby wants cookies? Baby gets cookies. Heās also 100% correct that snickerdoodles are underrated. Might make some chocolate chip cookies too. Letās see how motivated I get.
legal procedures that should exist but don't:
if the defendant makes the judge laugh they get a 20% reduced sentence
if the jury can't agree on a verdict each side will nominate a representative to dance battle, the winner picks the final verdict
if the judge feels one lawyer is way more overpowered than the other they can call for an uno reverse and the lawyers much switch sides
if the defense and prosecution fall in love during the trial the case is dismissed and the courtroom instantly becomes a wedding ceremony with the judge officiating
if the stenographer needs a typing break they can signal for "slowmo time" in which everyone must talk extremely slowly
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T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"
working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like āmeās go bathroom?ā
other thrilling destructions of my vocabulary:
the kid who replaced his hard G sounds with soft ones, leaving me incapable of thinking of glasses as anything other than jlasses
kid who would holler "DID" any time she finished her work no matter how many times we told her to just raise her hand
kid who began her scary stories with "once a time" and her friend who began his with "paw time"
middle schooler i had during student teaching who pronounced magritte as "mah-gritty"
the kid who said "i got boogies comin out my nose" while sobbing and the kid who said "theres his puddle of cry" while describing a drawing, both of whom i think of when im crying
kid who said that if he was 80 he would get big and turn grandpa
kid who, for no reason in particular, would just say "like a little feet" as a standalone phrase in relation to nothing
edit how could i forget. the kid who got sneezed on and angrily said "whyd you blessyou on me"
My niece who asks people with dogs "are him big or him little?"
And every person without fail answers "uh.. him big"
Years later my vocabulary is still influenced by:
kid who called snakes "nakes"
kid who called calculators "cockulators"
my little cousin who referred to anything he didn't have an immediate answer to as "vewy mystewious"
"I don't yike heem"
tiny neighbor who couldn't grasp the names of nouns, just the noises they made. Rocket ship was "wheesh!" Water was "wadleladdleaddle"
A spokesman for former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said the Kentucky republican was admitted to a hospital on Sunday.
E went to SILās birthday celebration (wine tasting in super hot weather followed by mediocre Italian food for dinner) while I stayed home. Got an annoying text from SIL that I was missed and hopefully we can get together soon for some āretail therapy.ā Barf.
Still no acknowledgment that she ditched my dadās memorial, no inquiry about how my family is doing, nothing. E said she feels bad but hereās an idea: instead of telling him she feels bad, why not reach out to me? This woman FaceTimes her adult children multiple times a day but sending me a āthinking of youā text is too much? Sure. Fine.
Iām so done with his stupid family!
Rules of the Les MisƩrables magic system (as far as I can figure out):
As long as there is still suffering to be had, Jean Valjean cannot die
Jean Valjean has super strength which cannot be depleted by age or his poor ability to look after himself (up to a point)
Once a person has met Cosette, lack of proximity to her will slowly drain their life force
The dead benevolently haunt those they loved while alive (ily ghost!Fantine)
Javert has an incredible ability to recognise potential criminals (read people from lower social classes)
Eponine has the ability to blend into the background but cannot turn this power off
The only one immune to this power is Javert which isnāt very helpful
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Cried my way through my therapy intake howās everyone else doing?
And because when it rains it pours: my brotherās girlfriend asked last week that they take a break (sounds like she is slow rolling an official break up) and while Iām really proud of her for recognizing this isnāt working for herā¦ damn, sweetie, could you have waited a few days?
They are high school sweethearts and each otherās first love and the poor guy is just so, so sad.
Anyway, she still showed up to offer support so š¤·āāļø
