The Unreasonable Memoirs Of An Imaginary Man

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: :)

english: oh no

french: :)

english: oh geez

english: :)

french: don’t

german: :)

english: oh dear

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish: :)

english: oh lordy

polish: :)

english: i changed my mind

UK english: ladybird!

american english: ladybug

french: weird

dutch: :)

french: …what

dutch: the good lord’s little animal

french: …ok

irish, polish and russian: *giggling*

french: …just tell me

Dutch: :)

English: … tell me

Finnish: :)

English: for fuck’s sake

asl: :D!

english: tell me?

Romanian: :)

English: huh?

Latin: :D

English: what?

Slovene: Behind God’s back

Serbian:

Italian: :)

English: what now?

English: :S

Welsh: …

English: a longing for something or somewhere which no longer exists, to which you can no longer return; the longing for the lost homeland of your ancestors, which you know only through blood and tradition, and will never feel under your feet

English: ladybird

Welsh: :) :) :) :) :) :)

English: look, you literally just made fun of me for my lexical limitations, why are you -

Welsh: little red cow :)

English: aw :)

English: Come on French, isn’t raisin a word in you vocabulary?

English: French?

French: …

French: you’re not gonna like it.

English: what?

French: in my defence I was first.

English: What?

Mandarin: …

English: what?

Mandarin: river horse

English: you know that actually makes sense. giraffe?

Mandarin: long necked deer

OP's tags because... yes, goddammit:

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Wow a very good idea to help and send money directly to people and you can find them in all price categories. If you book than:

1. Let them know you won’t come

2. Put the date as early as can be [today/tomorrow] apparently AirBnB holds on to the money until the end of the booking period. I saw an example of someone booking 12/13 May and the house owner asked to move it earlier so that the money comes sooner.

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Edit:

If booking an AirBnB is too expensive you can also try via Etsy! Also make sure to message the seller you don’t need whatever you’ve bought and mark it as dispatched on Etsy.

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Edit | 05.03.22

Brian Chesky the co-founder and Chief Executive Officer of Airbnb posted the following about this initiative:

In 48 hours

61,406 nights have been booked

$1,9 million (!!!) going to the hosts

“Ooh, look at Master Structuralist over here with his ever-so-deep ‘everything is attachment actually’ reading”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who calls every new opinion ‘new depths of their relationship with the Force’”

“The Jedi Order is a social construct–”

“Could you stuff the po-mo and pick up a book once in a while? These aren’t new ideas! You are not a pioneer because you asked one question!”

“I think you could all benefit on more reflection on how our rooting in the Force is actually deeply sexual–”

yes please I need more jedi symposiums with knights who had different views than consulars who have different views than shadows. Temple-centered jedi versus those who lead frequent diplomatic or medical missions versus exploratory and research jedi who spend most of their time in uninhabited wild space and the outer rim.

The kiss of death only works when she’s on a boat (she never kissed Will on a boat until their wedding)

When the effect does kick in, the killing is preformed by the crew of the Dutchman.

When Jack died, he was killed by the Kraken, summoned by Davy Jones.

When Sao Feng died, was by the damage from the canons of the Dutchman

When Norrington died, it was by Bootstrap Bill, a member of it’s crew.

And when Will died, it was directly by the hands of Davy Jones.

One more thing that has struck me as odd is when she interracts with Davy Jones, he acts as if he’s seen her somewhere before. When the Empress crew point her out as the captain he has a sort of “wtf, you, you are their captain?” reaction, now you could just shake that of as Davy Jones being a misogynistic but i don’t doubt he’s seen female pirate captains before, given how long he’s lived. And when they come face to face on the Dutchman, it feels like a meeting between sworn long time enemies (at least to me).

And we find out later that Davy Jones resurrected the Pearl from its place on the ocean floor in a deal with Jack.

Guys who complain about the friendzone often don’t care about their female friends’ personal boundaries, forcing their female friends build more walls up. A good cartoon.

Resignedly, I placed another layer, voicing a quiet, repeated prayer, “This dude thinks he’s a player, but I am not a point to score, he should fuck off and bother me no more.”

Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro, By the mores that you abuse thus, by those films we both adore, Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, by stalking me through Facebook, You have gained a twisted outlook of whom those tropes are for, Paint a rare and radiant dream girl whilst you remain a bore, Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Be that slur our sign of parting, creep or douche!” I shrieked, upstarting, “Get thee back to lonely anguish and your friend’s used comic store! Leave no white rose as a token of the lust you claim heartbroken, Leave my scathing words to soak in! Quit the name calling of ‘whore’, When you lust for every girl, but when they say nay they are whores! Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

I’m no longer holding Star Trek or Star Wars “accountable” for their clunky-looking sixties-and-seventies future technology.

Why?

Because the Enterprise is off on a years-long voyage through space. There’s no Verizon store, no Radio Shack, no Geek Squad out there. If the Klingons fire photon torpedoes and the bridge shakes and Spock’s head bangs against the fancy iPad72 touchscreen and cracks the glass, the ship’s toast. If Han Solo’s fingerprints get all over the starchart and the touch-calibration is off by half a centimeter, the Falcon is going right into a star. But if Mister Worf accidentally twists the command knob too hard and pops it off, he can just screw that thing right back on and it will keep working. Dust gets in there? Take it apart and clean it out. All the plugs are big and universal, all the power cells are functional and have a decent battery life, and nothing is built to expire in the next six months so you have to buy a new one.

That tech isn’t anachronistic or suffering a bad case of Zeerust–it’s practical, effective, and it works. Apple tried launching its own space exploration craft, it had to come back for full repairs within three months, and then it had to be upgraded over the next two.

Consumer devices are designed to break on purpose and lately be impossible to repair and no matter how sleek it is that’s a deplorable practice. On the other hand, industrial and military interfaces and hardware are designed for all the above points like resistance to fouling, repairable, designed for the angry 200 lb gorilla using it while wearing a space suit. I imagine a spaceship would look a lot like a ship down on earth:

In fact exactly the issues the above people pointed out about touch screens and fancy sleek touch control have happened. DDG-56 John S McCain suffered a collision with a commercial vessel due to complications with touch based throttle and steering controls; difficult to use, crew training, technical oversight. The Navy has decided touchscreens have proven to be a risk and will be replaced with more traditional controls.

Controls in aircraft look just as chunky because, again, it’s reliable and works. Granted multifunction displays (MFDs) and “glass cockpits” have been around since the 60s/70s in aircraft (first military and commercial much later) but in these cases they’re more display devices with switches and buttons for control input (iirc).

I also want to note that it has occurred to me that movies deliberately put in the smooth, sleek, consumer-optimized touchscreens and holograms because they’re selling you the products. They want you to see Tony Stark and Captain Kirk using these fancy smooth screens so you’ll go out and buy a new smartphone just like they use in the MCU (filmed on Samsung Cameras, using Apple Movie Studios!). 

Triscuits while indeed being named by combining the words electricity and biscuit (elec-TRI-city + bi-SCUIT) and early advertising slogans for the brand called them the first electrically baked biscuits. The reason for the name and the advertising claim is that Triscuits are old enough to predate electricity, the electrical cooking in this case actually refers to the fact that the ovens in which they baked the Triscuits in were electric ovens (and not coal or gas ovens) supposedly powered by hydroelectricity from Niagra falls.

Anyway, Panko breadcrumbs on the other hand are quite literally cooked with electricity. We’re talking, sticking two conductive plates into the dough and running a current though the whole mix. The unique cooking method is what produces Panko’s unique flakey texture as the electrocooking doesn’t actually produce a lot of high temperatures instead producing a very “even” bread without any outer crust.

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.

It doesn’t matter what it’s for.

You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?

For college?

To put a downpayment on a house?

Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?

Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.

And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.

So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.

“What if I spend the money that day?”

Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.

before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.

Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.

And here’s the funnest part of the story!

One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.

The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.

He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

ay yo show ur husband