Antinormal

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

FIRST OF ALL, that's not gonna go into writing. They know better than to put it into writing. They'll say "we held a meeting to discuss accommodations and you didn't agree to them, so you quit" when the accommodations they offered were "well we can cut your hours and nothing else" or they'll say "we didn't hire you because you weren't a good fit" when the "good fit" means "not disabled."

Second of all, when you ask for it in writing, they're gonna retaliate because now they know you might report them for their illegal behavior.

Third of all, with what money?? You just got fired or pushed out or people are refusing to hire you, meaning you're broke and unemployed.

"oh you have chronic pain? sorry I harassed you for being lazy, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a lazy person, I still get to harass those people"

"oh you're autistic? sorry I harassed you for being weird, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a weird person, I still get to harass those people"

"oh you're deaf? sorry I harassed you for ignoring me, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. you're just not actually a rude person, I still get to harass those people"

Advice that involves money

Buy wheelchair gloves (any sort of fingerless padded glove with extra grip works, they don't have to be specifically for wheelchair users) these will protect your hands and give you additional grip making self propelling easier. I personally use Harbinger Pro Weight Lifting Gloves 2.0, mine survive about 6-8 months before getting too worn out and I love them a lot

Buy push rim covers, these will also give you extra grip and make self propelling easier.

If you have a standard chair, get a cushion. Please please please get a cushion, standard chairs like to give people pressure sores and pressure sores are (quite literally) a pain in the ass to deal with and if they get bad enough can become severely infected. It's better to just avoid them

Get a cupholder and bag, it makes carrying things so much easier since your hands are now full 24/7

Advice that doesn't involve money

Deliberately take time to learn wheelchair skills. a lot of things that seem like cool tricks actually have a lot of practical purpose. Learn to push correctly, wheelie, hold a wheelie, move in a wheelie, hop over single curbs, drop down curbs in a wheelie, tip yourself back upright without leaving your chair, drop down stairs, safely descend down very steep slopes, etc. (a lot of wheelchair skills center around being able to wheelie)

Learn various methods of transferring even if you think you won't need them. Learn to transfer from the ground to your chair and from your chair to other chairs in multiple different ways

If you have a custom chair, learn to adjust your chair. It's much more convenient to do things like making your brakes tighter on your own than taking it in your DME store every time you need a little change

Learn to clean your wheelchair. folding mechanisms need to be lubricated and so do wheels. Casters need to have hair removed from them periodically. Seat cushions need to be washed.

Consider how high/low your push rims are in comparison to your hands. I found a lot of difficulty when my wheels were both too high and too low. I think the common rule of thumb is that if you're sitting upright with your hands at your sides, your fingers should reach the center of your wheels/wheel hub.

Get a cushion!!! I have two on my chair currently bc one of them is wearing out and the other isn't quite enough on its own. It's worth the investment.

A guide to designing wheelchair using characters!

There is no marriage equality until disabled people can marry without losing their sole source of independent income and independent access to health care, making them entirely financially dependent upon their spouse and unable to leave in cases of abuse or failed relationship.

"Benefits" is what the government calls it, yes, and it's not wrong, but it sounds like something optional to abled people, or something which disabled people can get by without.

If you receive SSI or SSDI -- yes, this addition is US-centric, but the concept is not -- you've gone through usually years of attempting to get those benefits, and you don't get them if you are capable of working at all. This means that if you lose your benefits, you have no independent means of self support. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkis.

And if you want to leave that partner? You have only the money that partner gives you because your assets were previously under penury-level restrictions. Even if you had the maximum amount currently allowable, that's not enough money to get an apartment with, let alone to live on while you go through the process of applying for SSI/SSDI again, which, once more, takes years.

On top of that, not only is marriage off the table, but in many places, even the appearance of a marriage-like relationship -- living together to share resources and like... to live together -- can fuck up your life and get your sole source of independent income yanked.

And since there is a deeply ableist assumption that disabled people only marry abled people and that the abled partner would be able to take care of the disabled one, I haven't even scratched the surface of how fucked up it is that two disabled people absolutely can't get married under this system.

i'm getting my own living space for the first time ever in two weeks. it's in my mom's basement in a new house. i'm physically and psychologically disabled, i have multiple severe mental health conditions, multiple physical disorders, i use a powerchair, i have to spend most of my time in bed, etc... of course its in my mom's basement. i'm lucky to have a mom who cares for my support needs.

you know why i cant live fully on my own? sometimes im in so much pain or so sick i cant get out of bed for days, and if i was alone, i'd starve. i can't go outside much, and on top of my mental health issues, living in total isolation would destroy me. i can't manage appointments or finances or any of that on my own. i wasn't able to finish high school due to my physical and mental issues. i can't get a job, it takes all of my energy to do so much as take care of my hygiene, and i'm terrified of people. living on my own is dangerous for me.

this is a dream come true. we're getting a house where i can try to be independent, but if i can't, i'm safe.

and yet, i have to fear all of the implications that will have for my social life, if i'm ever able to get one. i'll have to tell people to go around back to get into my house, and when they ask why, i'll have to tell them i'm in my mom's basement. and it doesn't help that people frequently see my autistic traits and deem me a creep - great, im a creep in my moms basement, this is going to do wonders. and i'm sure all of my other mental issues will make that even better. /s