When I was about 4 or 5, my dad worked in software implementation (installing very complicated programs for entire companies, basically). And sometimes when people had a problem with the program, theyâd call my dad.
If he wasnât in the room, I was assigned to answer the house phone and say âHello, Edward will be here in jutht a moment,â in my high-pitched lisp typically described by family members as âelfinâ, and then yell for my dad. Then Iâd listen to him walking them through the issue because I found it interesting.
One time my dad went in for a meeting with the CEO of a large company, like, one youâve heard of, and the CEO said âOh, by the way, your assistant is amazing! Fixed my problem immediately."
After some very subtle investigative work - because if the CEO of a billion dollar company is pleased you donât answer with âwtf are you talking aboutâ - he determined that what happened was the following:
The CEO called my dad at a very odd time of day, because rich people are like that.
The phone was answered by an elfin, lisping voice, which said âHello, Iâm thorry, Edward ithnât here right now. Can I help you?â
ââŚokay, do you thee the power button? Can you rethtart the computer? âŚthat means turning it off.â
Five minutes later, the CEO hung up, very pleased that an elf with a speech impediment had fixed his million-dollar software.
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