Don't mind me

Witch: And that is?

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

Me: im sorry i interrupted your date

Girl 1: oh this isnt a date we're just friends. But thanks for not assuming though cause we actually both gay lol

Me:

Me turning to girl 2: whats your name?

Girl 2: Heather?

Me: heather sweetie i am so sorry this dumbass is too dumb to realise shes on a date with you

Girl 1: what??? What do you mean? What does HE MEAN?? Is this a date?????

Signature

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

J: "wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s"

Consider

Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade

Alfred: oh I'm dreadfully sorry - for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it

(later)

Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*

while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar

the family requests that trash gengar's privacy be respected during this difficult time

"Look, it's a circuitboard. That makes this tech - your territory"

Okay so. It’s traditional that on the last day of Faire, the show goes a little off the rails due to the cast’s final-day pranks on each other. Faire management hates it, so we’re not technically supposed to do it, but, like…they never quite manage to stop us.

Anyway, last year, I was playing one of the lead villains. I was the second in command of the viking king, and it took approximately ten seconds for everyone to start shipping our characters. There’s at least one ship every year that gets popular, and that year, it was us. The vibe was 100% “Viking Mom and Viking Dad are getting a Viking Divorce and the berserkers are stuck in the middle of a custody battle.” Like, five minutes after opening gate one day, I had a patron strike up conversation with me about how I needed to get a better man, lmfao.

By the end of the show, my character betrayed the king and joined the Good Guys, and I got this epic showdown with him at the end where I kick his ass and get in a one-liner.

So for my last-day prank, I replaced my usual one-liner by just full-volume screaming, “And the divorce is FINAL!!!!”

The audience, and the rest of the cast, lost their absolute shit.

And @borinquenaqueer​ managed to take a picture of the exact moment of reaction, in which my costar later told me he actually broke character for a split second and didn’t know how to react because he was just caught so off-guard: