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While twinks of various combinations are the blorbos in law for Kisame and Haku, Wei Wuxian sees All Of Mist as His Blorbos In Law which being him quickly becomes His Circus His Monkeys to everyone’s stress

Wei Wuxian becomes the official ambassador once the revolution is over. Everyone in Mist fucking loves him

Kisame retains that Finders Keepers and that everyone needs to stop fucking with his blorbo bc it’s making the other one stressed in a Bad Way

Itachi is his sight hound that will start giving himself Issues™️ if people keep looking at Wei Wuxian. Except instead of Anxiety his Issues look a lot more like massacres.

#the elf talks #naruto #mdzs

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Omg wait

Wei Wuxian and Naruto and Haku can bond over Gender

Also Wei Wuxian and Itachi are Haku’s blorbos in law. And vice versa for Kisame

(This also does lead me to believe that Wei Wuxian is somehow going to get involved with the Mist’s revolution. If only because he knows so many people from there and we know how he is)

All three of them have three different ways of shrugging at gender that only the three of them and their respective codepentents understand to some extent or another but if anyone outside their group fucks it up the whole wombo combo is coming down on their heads.

(While twinks of various combinations are the blorbos in law for Kisame and Haku, Wei Wuxian sees All Of Mist as His Blorbos In Law which being him quickly becomes His Circus His Monkeys to everyone’s stress)

#the elf talks #naruto #mdzs #someone calls Haku a man on the wrong day and the resulting explosions are heard in sand

Kisame and Zabuza are two of the seven swordsmen of the Mist. They probably know each other

They run into each other again in Konoha because they got adopted by Freaks somehow

(Zabuza is terrified of the day when Kisame and Haku get together to talk about their Little Guys. Because he knows he will be dragged along. And he doesn’t want to hear all that)

Zabuza: Don’t do this to me

Haku: You are free to leave at any time :) the door is open :)

Zabuza, who would saw off his own leg before he willingly walked away from Haku after they were nearly killed in Wave: I’m being held hostage while you gossip and you know it

Haku, only then perching themself on Zabuza’s lap: Sh let us talk :) you were saying Kisame?

No but this is the most hilarious situation of two feral animals domesticating themselves only to turn around and find the Guy They Know already waiting in their forever home. The cognitive dissonance hits them so hard. Walrus at the door. They cannot explain this.

#the elf talks #naruto #mdzs

I gotta dig out some of my Nejinaru aus I miss my boys and the freaks I made them (affectionate)

#the elf talks #but the scrolling #timeloop is a good one for this #shikanaru I made freaks a lot too #WAIT HOLD ON WHAT WAS THE SHIP #FOR RED LIGHTS BESIDES THE OC AND KAKASHI WHAT WAS NARU BABY UP TO

I think Sasuke and Naruto should have their own Kisame to really draw the parallels between them and Wei Wuxian and Itachi. Also because it would drive everyone insane

But I fear everyone I think of are people who just have a crush on Naruto

(Maybe Haku? Haku and Zabuza survive and get dragged back to Konoha and Haku is a closet little shit and finds sasunaru fascinating? Maybe. Maybe not. But who else?)

Nandndbdbdbdhs HAKU WOULD WANT TO PUT SASUNARU IN A JAR AND SHAKE IT

The emotion is far more affectionate towards Naruto and derogatory towards Sasuke but both of them are Haku’s Little Guys. They have their own thing going on. Their entirely undefinable relationship with Zabuza that freaks everyone out being one of them.

(The only way to be truly immune to Naruto’s wife beam is to be more of a freak about someone else there are many such cases)

#the elf talks #naruto #mdzs

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I feel less bad about chapter 11 taking two weeks in the way that it’s 9600 ish words and like 4K of that was written unmedicated. I feel more bad in the way that I am so behind and am only going to get more so what with the move and am nwndnsjsjjsjsjsjsjsnsjhdjdhdndbdbdbdnndndndndndnnd about it

#the elf talks #almost 10k of Shen yuan thinking men are freaks #there’s going to hit a point I can’t update weekly and I’m #going to be so sad about it #and I don’t think anyone expects me to #update weekly mid move but still know I will be sad

egg-ify

can’t even make eye contact smh,,

#bloodymary #iron lung #project hail mary

voldemo

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian

voldemo

its like ive never seen herbivore

ezekestiel

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

shori-koi

Apparently the Bai Zhan Peak Lord secretly enjoys sweets once in a while, who knows what else he's hiding...

#liu qingge #svsss

fairycosmos

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

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need-him-pregnant-poll

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT *SEASON TWO* ROUND 6 POLL 7

TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?

Yue Qingyuan/Yue Qi (The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System)

Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)

Remaining time: 6 days 20 hours

PROPAGANDA:

[Yue Qingyuan]

"The Sect Leader should get pregnant because the Sect Leader should be the picture of fertility and virility both, boost the usage of male child-bearing pills, and because the whole Sect would go crazy trying to find out who's the baby daddy. I think Yue Qingyuan could benefit from having to raise a child of his own instead of managing disciples, because Yue Qingyuan no longer has a family of his own and deserves one, and this way, perhaps he'd be forced to care about another person again. His strong and qi-rich body would also have an easy pregnancy and have a strong and happy child."

[Phoenix]

"It wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened to him."

"Phoenix Wright is in a competition with Batman for who can accidentally adopt the most children. So far, Phoenix has his mentor's little sister, his mentor's cousin, forensics science girl, weird magical girl (aka the only one that the adoption is legally binding), dorky boy who doesn't want to admit he's been adopted, and emotions science girl. Plus, I'm pretty sure he co-adopted his boyfriend's kids (crow, anxious boy, rock star, and samurai) before actually asking his boyfriend out (or at least there's plenty of fics to support that theory). Plus, he sees anyone under 18 in trouble, his default is protective mother hen. 16 yr old girl has grown men lusting after her? Attack mode. Young boy arrested for crime with no defense? Guess who is now your attorney and your parent. He wants to be a parent so badly, and he deserves to carry one of his own."

#summoning the 70000 Shen Jiu alt accounts

nondelphic

writing? oh, i’m definitely writing. in my head. during the most inconvenient times. like in the shower or when i’m about to fall asleep. actual typing? no, no, we don’t do that here.

#typing? I’m typing what I was supposed to type last week.#this weeks chapter?#haven’t touched it since I was supposed to writing last week

dark-elf-writes

The time skip chapter is really going to be me throwing Shen Yuan at Peak Lords and him leaving the interaction thinking they are all Freaks™️

dark-elf-writes

Shen Yuan: All the Peak Lords are freaks or stupid. Thank god Shizun is the only normal person here

Bingzun: If anything happens to A-Yuan I’m setting all of us on fire

Mu Qingfang: You need to be more specific. Something happens to Shen-shizhi every incense time. There is a counter on Qian Cao. Qing Jing can’t keep one because he gets into things too often.

Bingzun: :)

#role reversal au #untrue. he likes qingge even if he is strange #and has a puppy crush he doesn’t understand as a crush on Qingyuan because he is binghe in a different robe #he does think they’re all freaks though and they are they are so not fucking normal #he doesn’t like Mobei though they are beefing

What was supposed to be two (2) throw away lines has turned into so much Pangolin research

#the elf talks #I just wanted to know how their scales worked

SOMEONE SPRAYED AIR FRESHENER AND DIDNT WARN ME ??!!??!!?

#the elf talks #THE BUGGEST TABOO IN THE HOUSE??!!??!!?#RULE ONE DONT SPRAY THINGS AROUND THE ASTHMATICS

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Sometimes, I think I don't know much more than the average person about my hobbies, and then sometimes I'm looking at an embroidery tutorial with something labeled "perfect whipped running stitch" that is A. Not a running stitch (it's backstitch.) B. Not a whipped stitch (it's a laced stitch.) And C. Badly done, and I realize that I can't even bitch to anyone about it because most normal people don't know what a laced or whipped embroidery stitch is, much less the difference between them, and most of them might not even know what the difference between a running stitch and back stitch is, and there is no way for me to explain any of this without sounding like I'm speaking incomprehensible gibberish, much less actually be able to complain about it.

Anyway fuck the person that made that tutorial, their stitches are crooked and uneven and sloppy and they're don't know what the fuck they're talking about, which wouldn't even be a problem if they weren't trying to act like their an expert but they are so it is.

.........

So anyway, how's your week been Lex?

Sorry about just dropping and incomprehensible rant in your asks, I just really needed to say something about it to *someone*.

No I get it sometimes I think I’m a casual about something and I am suddenly forced to realize that my understanding of what a casual is skewed and I am far more advanced and I am left like “?????” And usually more than a little irritated.

The statement “bigger idiots than you” hits at weird times and it always leaves me feeling baffled. Usually I get it with books. Like I consider myself okay at writing. I do this for fun. It’s far from professional. I’m aware of its flaws.

Then sometimes I pick up something published that’s being made into a movie and I put it down with a rage headache because what the actual fuck was that

#the elf talks

Chapters: 11/? Fandom: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Ning Yingying & Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Ming Fan & Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Qing Jing Peak Disciples & Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu Characters: Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe, Ming Fan (Scum Villain), Ning Yingying, Qing Jing Peak Disciples Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Oblivious Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Heavenly Demon Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Half-Demon Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Disciple Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu is Like a Disney Princess, I can’t believe that is a tag, Shizun Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu Needs a Hug, Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu is a Mess, Broken System (Scum Villain), Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Shen Yuan died and transmigrated into the scum villain, and that was where the story was supposed to begin… only somehow during his transmigration the System bricked itself and swapped key roles, meaning that he is now also the protagonist. Now as a disciple of Qing Jing training under Luo Binghe Shen Yuan has to manage being half-heavenly demon (sealed), a (malfunctioning) System stalking him, and the general shitty writing of PIDW coming to fuck him over at every turn.

Role Reversal AU where Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe trading places both solves problems and create countless new ones.

#the elf talks #the elf writes #svsss #role reversal au #ao3 fanfic #svsss fanfic #bignqiu #the chapter that was totally in my outline the entire time #and was never forgotten ever #have nto even started typing the bits for ch 11 or working on ch 12 and its 11 am i am hsihfjdsahfjhuj #but it's fine things are fine

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