Superheroes Are Dorks

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

In the book ending Caroline actually tried to befriend Elizabeth because she wanted to still be invited to Pemberley. If she was half as cruel as some fanfictions portray her, she wouldn't have been invited (Lady Catherine was actually mean and cruel and lost that privilege for a time until she changed).

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

every day i get a little madder about the ‘dream job’ narrative… all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesn’t abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably can’t be) cosmic destinies and identities

I will always care more about the supportive cishet boyfriend at pride than i will about the wannabe cop queer person interrogating every “straight looking” couple to make sure they’re “queer enough” to be there btw. Don’t worry about your cishet boyfriend, he’s sitting with me eating an ice cream wearing a homemade little pride bracelet around his arm and he is the happiest he’s ever been in his life :]

THIS IS THE HARDEST I HAVE LAUGHED IN SO LONG YOU HAVE CURED MY DEPRESSION

This is one of the greatest posts I’ve ever witnessed. The payoff was amazing.

My roommate heard it going and went “OH MY GOD is it EVER going to resolve?” then the payoff hit and she busted up laughing

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

Two of my niblings (10 and 7) self-censor like this in real life during actual conversations. I tried briefly to explain to the 10-year-old that they didn't have to do that in real life after they said "unalive" out loud in casual conversation, and they just said they preferred to. On the one hand, I'm sad to see them unconsciously and fully without awareness succumbing to the panopticon. On the other... this post.

die has actually already undergone this process. die originally meant "flow" (i guess it's like you're flowing out of life or something? or maybe your life is flowing out of you idk). it was (probably) loaned from old norse to displace the now obsolete "swelt". and yes, that is the root word of "sweltering"

I never craved peace like I do now. I don't want to wake up bothered, angry, bitter, no negative energy or thoughts. I just want to be happy and at peace with everything.

I'm like the arbiter from halo. Motherfucking lightning just struck my house while writing this post