Superheroes Are Dorks

Ok I'll bite. you are bleeding now

Everyone responding to this with just "yeowch" and such please know I see you and every time I snort

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

oh my god I just saw the cutest thing in the world. little Black girl with beads in her hair for the first day of school and the beads were pink then silver then a bunch of yellow then beige then grey to make them look like pencils 🥺🥺🥺 brb I will draw an artist’s rendition

just watched a star trek episode about a planet that relied so heavily on it's computer system that they all forgot the basics of their own knowledge. and that allowed them to miss the fact that they were being posioned with radiation and nearly ending their civilization. because they couldn't use their own knowledge to figure things out. i bring this up for no reason in particular

Does anybody know how to fix it

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

500 MILES?!?!?!

this blows i shouldve taken the old town road to where the streets have no name. i cant believe i have to drive 500 miles. wait hang on i have to what.

hallelujah im almost there! i walked across the bridge over troubled water and through the tunnel of love. i can see signs for paradise city which means im not far from funkytown! it’s been a long long time since i was there. anyway i don’t wanna linger here sooooo what do i do after i walk 500 miles

FUCK this. FUCK this and FUCK your hotel. YOU wanna walk on and on and on then you can go your own way but IM heading back to my fast car and getting on the road again. fuuuuuck i’m exhausted and i literally need a place to stay the night and wait wait okay wait rant cancelled. some guys are telling me there’s no need to feel down 

little girl in the checkout line was freaking the FUCK out reaching for a shelf and screaming "GIMMEEEE GIMMEEEEE" at the top of her lungs and the mom kept saying "no 🫩" and I look at the shelf expecting there to be candy or something and it was full of batteries

Y'all ever think of what the person responsible for Rocky's voice bank must've felt when those videos finally got to earth? Imagine doing a voice acting gig for a bank voice on a computer or whatever that you eventually completely forget about, only for it to one day come back to you when the FIRST intellectual alien lifeform that a human being has ever met decides to use it as their chosen voice. The mild horror. The exhilaration. The emotional punch. This is it. This is your magnum opus. You have given a human voice to a sentient rock and it will NEVER get better than this. Also, they picked you over MERYL STREEP?!?!