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my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

Literally all I know about this franchise is that he wakes in the morning and he steps outside and he takes a deep breath and he gets real high and he screams at the top of his lungs

What's going on?

Yellow leatherleaf slug, Vaginulus taunaisii, Veronicellidae

9:00 am: clock into work after a stressful few days of dealing with a giant robot and also a crazy man who stuffed me into a cupboard

9:05: investigate mysterious box.

9:10: i am in space. almost killed sarah jane. almost got killed. lost my shoe :(

9:15: sarah jane has gone missing

9:30: found sarah jane. shes in a coma :(

9:45: sarah janes no longer in a coma :)

10:00: attacked by bugs

10:15: attacked by bugs

10:30: bugs dead. doctor is quickly popping down to earth to fix transmat. pop down with him

10:40: in a hole :(

10:50: out of hole :) sarah jane has been kidnapped :(

11:00: attacked by potato. sarah jane is free :)

11:10: attacked by potato

11:20: blow up spaceship. finally time to go home :)

11:25: aw man what the fuck

11:30: in the trenches

11:40: nazi prisoner :( sarah jane is maybe dead (unclear) :(

12:00: escaped prison. foot almost bitten off by big clam :(

12:30: sarah jane is alive :)

12:45: witness genocide :(

13:00: nazi prisoner. doctor decides to kill nazis :)

13:05: the doctor is no longer killing nazis :(

13:30: nazis are all dead :) new, eviler robot nazis have been born :( finally time to go home :)

13:35: goddamnit.

13:45: the plague

14:00: sarah jane has the plague :(

14:10: sarah jane no longer has plague :) went to alien planet and found gold :)

14:15: in prison :(

14:30: no longer in prison :) sent sarah jane back to ship to help the doctor

14:35: dropped rocks on the doctor. nearly blew up the doctor. sarah jane has been captured :(

15:00: the doctor has saved sarah jane :) finally time to go home?

15:05: in scotland.

15:10: got shot :(

15:20: got kidnapped :(

15:30: met suction cup aliens. met loch ness monster. replaced by suction cup alien

15:50: sarah jane frees me :)

16:00: escape suction cup aliens ship

16:20: loch ness monster in london. jesus christ.