I'm tired @forthosewhonevergivein - Tumblr Blog

ragingpunsexual

I love the idea of Spock being super queer, highly expressive and very emotional from a Vulcan view point. Like...

What humans see:

What Vulcans see:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness

i love how this implies that gritty is how vulcans see jim

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mod2amaryllis

parts 1-2

mod2amaryllis

part 3

and this is the true story of my monday afternoon

mod2amaryllis

it frew up :'(

heart-sprout

I'd like to thank op because I have been using these as reaction images since I first saw this post in 2022 and I had lost track of their origin but now I am grateful to the universe for the chance to say bless u

mod2amaryllis

imagining someone in the world making use of my 4pm on a monday doodles is sick as hell

i-like-violet

@funnier-when-objectum

copperbadge

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

vergess

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

hollowboobtheory

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

teaboot

"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"

teaboot

Alternatively,

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.

Wonderful. You take care."

nebulousboundsfloof

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

hollowboobtheory

hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer?

a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself

talvin-muircastle

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

fakeharmless

mini-wrants

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

dissociatingdumbass

bi-polarbear

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sisterofiris

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

yay855

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

rox-and-prose

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

watermite

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

xakumi

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

themodernsouthernpolytheist

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

asortoflight

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

whisky-gerblin

Reblogging for the last addition

badgraph1csghost

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

badgraph1csghost

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

omnicat

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

bucketbunny

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

sarumans

i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:

she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten

expectiations

what is time but an endless all consuming miasma of void ,?

greelin

to bite. Fondly.

greelin

love is stored in the throat offered willingly AND in the teeth sinking in. Or something

greelin

to bite. Fondly.

greelin

love is stored in the throat offered willingly AND in the teeth sinking in. Or something

sceptixfakemon

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

sceptixfakemon

im never leaving this hellsite

dingdongyouarewrong

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

averagejoey2000

dingdongyouarewrong

well damn . egg on my face

dingdongyouarewrong

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

averagejoey2000

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

averagejoey2000

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

averagejoey2000

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

averagejoey2000

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

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thememedaddy

void0m

ms paint study from 2021

diospore

magical-awesome-kid

I’m sorry MS PAINT????

cursedpossums

unrestrained summer fun

cursedpossums

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

jesterbots

“Larper” being used like “poser” is so annoying bc actual LARPers are cool as hell. Get me some armour and a fake sword too

linolinoing

guys pls don't die from the heat i love playing tumblr with you

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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