Le Leurre Des Mots -

Your honor. It's true that a first glance at the evidence would suggest my client was responsible. But let's look a little further, shall we?

I have here a reverse image search for the crime scene as well as my client's photo.

And if you look closely at the results...

The blogs and dates don't match.

My client has been framed!

And why? Because their iconic "mischievous smile" makes for a funnier post, of course. But nothing, not even Tumblr notes, is more important than the truth!

I present to you: The original unaltered post and the true culprit!

I grew up in a temperate boreal rainforest. It rained all the time there, so I developed an overinflated confidence in my ability to go about my day while it was raining. I walked to school in the rain. I worked outside in the rain. Rain is rain, right? So when I went to Chicago and they were like "Yeah Yeah don't do shit outside when it's raining" I thought, damn. Yall weak.

Guys.

Guys.

Pacific northwest rain can be anything from "faint mist that might as well be damp air" to "fat pellets hitting your face and soaking through your clothes". The worst I ever saw was "wind blowing heavy rain sideways under the front door". Like, aggressive shower spray rain.

I went to Illinois and DROWNED. It was like I got dunked in a bathtub. I couldn't see two feet in front of my face. It was like stepping out of your house directly into the world's widest waterfall. I damn near couldn't breathe the way it was streaming down my face.

England rain is more like Pacific Northwest rain, but shorter and more sporadic. What London gets in a day in mid summer, Vancouver gets in 3-4 days in late spring. And it smells more metallic, where Vancouver kinda always smells a bit like moss.

Dreamworks were originally ex-Disney who were tired of the restrictions. They went to make The Prince of Egypt (which is always confused as a Disney title because of the clear Disney influence)

The difference being:

The prince of Egypt is a religious film directly adapting a story from the Bible as accurately as possible. When came the time for child death, unlike what Disney would have done, they didn't shy away from it. There is on-screen child death, blood, and genocide depicted visually, and not off-screen.

Also, the Prince of Egypt started a new era of animation with the scene of the parting sea.

I have many padlocks (and other, uh, lockable devices) to which I probably have the keys somewhere but it's frankly quicker to pick (or in some cases, technically bypass but what most people would still call picking) the lock than find the right key.

And usually yes, that quickly.

I was not expecting the visceral nature of this picking; the single thrust and twist, the casual toss, the verbal disdain, the sense like you just watched something be swiftly gutted.

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Netflix still fully intends to roll out anti-sharing measures by March, they just didn’t intend to post them on their site this early (supposedly).

The cynical response to "everyone is unique" with "So no one is unique?"

Cause like. no, dipshit.

If I have 3000 piece puzzle, all the pieces are unique, and they are not interchangeable!!! You cannot jam the wrong piece into a space and have it work!!