your friendly neighbourhood vampire @ratsetflummi - Tumblr Blog

radfems go kill yourselves challenge

#i envy anyone who doesn't have to experience what's currently happening on my dash #they are all so fucking stupid

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inatherps

Nile Monitor (Varanus niloticus)

Observed by saskia_thomas, CC BY-NC

ashenmind

good lord this thing is useless

fishmech

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

dragongirltongue

Happy horse on mars day

borgevino

so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

hellish-undeath

i love medications and swallowing pills #mypebbles

chloecat

don’t forget to swallow your pebbles today girls

becherdireinen

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

#i assume that this is about mental illness or disability #but i also feel this about the end of the semester where all of my projects and exams are due at once #things will get better now that i have turned in one of my projects #vs i have three more deadlines this week and i can't fucking take it anymore

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all-vampires-are-gay

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

red-garden

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

new rule: if a bus drives off while i am standing next to it pressing the door opener then i get to shoot out its tyres

#i think that's generous enough as compared to my first draft which was that i get to shoot the driver

blackpyrefly

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

official-german-puns

Frohen Sehr-Feiner-Sand-Tag!

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creepymutelilbugger

"i have to water the shitbird wait a minute"

"prosper stupid poultry"

inthefallofasparrow

hellyeahscarleteen

"Fat folks have unique needs when it comes to body care and we often aren’t ever taught what those needs are. Because we have been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and view them as a punishment because we look the way that we do, we are often even discouraged from learning the proper techniques required to care for ourselves.

This guide is here to help fix that! It’s here to walk you through some of the starting steps I -- writer Sarah Biette --- took for myself that revolutionized the way I cared for my fat body, especially my skin. I’ll also talk about some of the stereotypes and judgements I had to work through while going on this journey. While I discuss my own experiences a bit in this article, I hope that you can see it as a jumping-off point to start your own relationship⁠ with caring for your body. The list of tips and tricks I have below is not at all exhaustive, and I would love to hear what methods have worked for you over the years!"

Check it out the rest of this amazing new piece here!

captain-price-returns

no-terfs-no-swerfs-no-fascists

We have no choice but to stan a queen 💪❤️👑

themainspoon

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

dumbtrannybitch

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

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sometiktoksarevalid

theunfairfolk

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

theunfairfolk

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".

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