your friendly neighbourhood vampire

Went to a reptile meetup today at a local mall where there were plenty of big snakes and iguanas and other big intimidating reptiles and this girl was just watching the whole thing in silence with her hands closed up (as if she’s holding something) then one of the hosts saw her and pointed at her asking her if she had any reptiles, so she just quietly looked down at her hands and opened them up and there was the smallest most adorable yet ugly little baby leopard gecko just one McDonald’s sauce big everyone (and I mean everyone) erupted in awwwwwwwsss

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

I’d die on the hill that “stranger danger” is a deeply unhelpful mentality to have. “Ooooh everyone is out to get me they’re all gonna perpetrate harm that’s actually more likely to come from someone I already know. I better never talk to anyone in my community who I don’t already know, just to be safe. I’m sure there are no other biases interwoven with this mentality” like oh my god human traffickers do not just randomly spawn in every parking lot. You don’t have to go solo hitchhiking across the country but you also don’t have to live in fear that every guy on the street is the knife man who’s gonna get you. Like have situational awareness, yeah. But most of the time the guy on the street is not knife man he’s actually just a guy on the street and he’s probably pretty chill, and you’re driving yourself crazy by living in a constant state of unnecessary fear.

i think if you showed minecraft or fortnite to a little medieval peasant boy he would probably start writing parodies of church hymns. it’s human nature

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

You will never understand the mental torture of being 12 years old and having a debilitating crush on Hugo Weaving Elrond & having to lie to ur friends and say you like Legolas Orlando bloom like all the other girls so you don’t get fucking bullied

Now I’m 35 and I have a live sized cardboard Elrond who lives on my stairwell & I kiss him every time I go upstairs so anyway the moral of the story is never kill yourself

To me in 2016: if youre still on this website, fuck you but i understand

girl youre not gonna believe this

i think we should stop having "kink at pride" discourse and START having "kink at the 4th of july" discourse. for no reason other than that it would be very funny

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

hate when men complain about how theyre not allowed to be vulnerable and people will be like "and who set that system up?" as a gotcha moment. stop acting like patriarchy was funded by calling in Every Man Ever in a room and letting them all singularly decide if they wanted it. patriarchy hurts everyone in different ways, they're allowed to complain and you shutting them down and telling them to stop complaining are doing exactly what toxic masculinity wants you to enforce

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

i dont think straight people should be allowed to do "enemies to lovers" i think if a man is your enemy you need to trust that you were correct the first time and slay him in battle