your friendly neighbourhood vampire

one of my least favourite things about this website. "op have you considered that [the thing op was saying]"

if i were a respected british actor with any principles at all i would simply not agree to a project whose earnings will have material consequences for trans people but maybe i'm built differently

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

yes this exactly

phrase added to permanent vocabulary

Have you ever considered that Sisyphus might've just been in for the love of the game? My bus driver hits the same curb every morning

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

Hey guys, what if *puts the most horrifying mindblowing concept into your head with about 15 pages*

don't let being born a girl stop you from being the man your father never was

warfare is mechanised in world war 1 & 2 -> all of a sudden soldiers are coming back with disfiguring injuries from explosives and other more unconventional weapons -> major advancements in reconstructive surgery to keep up with this new demand -> surgeons learn how to reconstruct someone's penis that got blown clean off -> surgeons are able to apply that to people who never had a penis to begin with in the form of gender affirming care -> Q.E.D. yorick: transmasc ally?

christmas is kind of like if for 1/6 of the year everyone got really into ska and started wearing the fedoras and checkered clothing and they only played ska music in stores that the employees clearly weren't enjoying and everything was just ska themed for a while and one day someone eagerly asks you what ska you're listening to and when you tell them you're not doing the whole ska thing for the tenth time in a row its like a 50/50 chance that their face suddenly falls deathly serious and they say "are you one of those people who thinks all orphans should be drowned in boiling shit?" or they chuckle and squint at you and say "oh yeah you must be one of those people that listens to pop punk! Its kinda like a weird, different ska I guess! I am going to a ska concert later today if you wanna come along and see how awesome ska is, as enforced by the ephemeral force of enjoying ska instilled in all moral beings!" and this has been going on for so long that all the ska music is just people saying "pick it up" over and over again and plastering everything in checker patterns and theres a whole wave of people who think everyone has forgotten how to really enjoy ska but they actually just want an older version of the artificially enforced ska mania everyone is having and they made a book and several movies called "the man who did not like ska" about a disgusting evil spinach creature that hated everything and ate broken glass every day who learns basic empathy after hearing an upstrummed guitar for the first time.