This is an utter crackpost because I like applying my endless character knowledge onto weird situations.
This isn't necessarily a shippy post, more-so a "put the blorbo in a situation and see what happens" exercise for myself.
Fix It HCs: Simon and Video Games!
I just went down a rabbit hole on how video games psychologically affect war veterans on behalf of Simon, for this hyper-niche headcanon-with-logic tangent.
I have seen a handful of people write Bloodymary scenes where Simon gets really into survival horror games, and I just keep thinking to myself... homeboy wouldn't want to play "Trauma Simulator" and risk triggering his own PTSD repeatedly, right? I know some war vets absolutely love militaristic games...
Simon did not love what he did. Simon wanted to be anywhere else.
He'd be good at those kinds of games... at a cost. Because he'd be back there, mentally. Not good for relaxing. Simon is a distractions kind of guy.
Simon would want control and predictability. He'd be playing the most mundane shit imaginable, because he could just shut his brain off for a while, and not think.
Nothing that simulates work, because he did enough free labor for a lifetime, so I think he'd have a chip on his shoulder about stuff like Powerwash Simulator. It would evoke a very serious "ah, yes, more bullshit for me to do" annoyance reaction.
Simon's an exploratory, "get into trouble, test boundaries" kind of dude, so I see open-world being a big deal to him. The tantalizing concept of, "I can go wherever I want" would have him addicted.
I also think he'd enjoy tycoons as a secondary little "I want to feel wealthy. I want to Have Belongings" crack hit, sometimes.
So, what games are predictable, low-stress, offer lots of freedom, don't contain gunfire, don't make you perform a labor task as the main subject, and lets you dragon hoard an inventory?
No Man's Sky (on peaceful. He'd kick ass at the fuel management system and would be filling up a notebook of star charts SO fast. "I get to name a WHOLE planet I found?!" He'd love that shit. He's immediately becoming a GekNip smuggler.)
Slime Rancher (Dude would get lit one day, not leave the laptop alone out of the ADHD jitters, and be like... shapes and colors... holy shit I can extort these little alien blobs for MONEY. OH YEAH.)
Skyrim (I think he'd LOVE feeling like a hero and running around with a greatsword. He's eating upppp the "you're the only one who can save us!" plot to balm his own soul a little bit, plus, no gunshot noises to worry about, and he'd be enthralled with the forested/mountainous map environments. He'd be running around over-encumbered with a grudge against Delphine and YOU KNOW IT. He doesn't trust that woman. Everything he owns is stolen or looted. He has 100 sneak and 0 magic stat. Kills a chicken on accident and dies to the guards. AVOID HERMAEUS MORA AT ALL COSTS.)
Stardew Valley except he does the thing where he utilizes every single square inch of farmland to build a complex and efficient workflow, becomes a millionaire and never once talks to an NPC
Do NOT let this man near ANY games with gambling involved or you will lose him forever. I hear an addiction gene warning alarm in this man and it's LOUD.
The Sims. He'd get way too invested in making a death maze for his enemies in his backyard and learning what Normal People life is like by watching his sims do nothing. It's a taste of Earth and Simon's starving for anything.
A game like Party Animals would take him the fuck out, especially with Grace or Rocky. Fastest way to get him to start screaming.
He'd be a little shit and an annoyance to the game engine. I also think Simon would get frustrated with complex controls really fast, but he's too stubborn to give up, so he'd be sitting there button mashing until something happened.
You ever try to play video games with an annoying brother who's always running in the opposite direction as you on a split screen? He's that.
He doesn't like manuals. Point him in a direction and tell him to start swinging. He'll figure it out!
