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going to a restaurant solo is so funny because you feel deeply evil for taking up a four-top all for yourself. but there usually simply aren’t any smaller table options #beingevil #onatuesday #lunch

Smallville population 25,001 is so much funnier than I think they expected it to be. That’s a massive fucking city for the Midwest. That’s the (checks Wikipedia) 18th biggest city in Kansas approximately. I love it genuinely, but also really they could have gotten away with less. I guess they need monster of the week victims lmao OH WAIT IT’S UP TO 45,001 Smallville the 11th biggest city in Kansas… probably bigger given I’m looking at 2020 numbers and this is 2001 I refuse to do any more math about this anyway

Post back to say okay yeah new meet cute you hit him with your car because you were texting and driving and then he gives you CPR that absolutely would have not actually worked after pulling you from the river

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

Fwiw I do consider medical professionals bluntly asking me what substances I do to be a green flag even tho the answer is none. Especially props to the audiologist who asked if I smoke weed and when I said no said 'ok, but just fyi here's why I'm asking' and I'm like this information is of no use to me but I appreciate that you went out of your way to relay it in case I'm lying 👍