Item: huge mechanical horse with wheels armed with a cannon that fires cans of beans; I dunno if you can load other things in or not. Not totally sure how it’s powered, it’s got aspects of a steam engine but also a fire-belching exhaust pipe typical of high-powered gas engines—maybe the beans are involved?

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

To be fair imagine you just arrived in 2018 from Victorian England and discovered Take On Me, what are you supposed to do, not blast it loud enough for your family to hear it all the way back in 1876?

I’m such a “yay <3” person like unironically a hip hip hooray type of personality

hey don't cry. blorbo coughing up blood

blorbo writhing in agony ok? don't cry

blorbo screaming so much their voice becomes hoarse and weak and the pain still won't stop

blorbo unable to close their eyes and avoid the visceral sight of their own body

blorbo suffering unimaginable pain and being powerless to stop it ok? ok

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

It’s so hard loving a complex fictional woman because assholes will try to turn you against her by listing off all her flaws and it’s like yeah no shit, that’s the whole point. What aren’t you getting about this?