Welcome to my trash can

this is a problem that goes unnoticed too often please fucking fix it.

French is probably one of the most beatiful languages in the world, whilst arabic, for all it’s intricacies and history.. is not.. French is also way more useful to know in a western society than arabic, so to jut it all down to racism is a bit hasty

buddy is like: “i’ve been taught to find European things beautiful and therefore it’s just objectively true.”

Also, there’s a massive poetic tradition in Arabic! With glorious imagery! I love French, I enjoy opportunities to speak it, whereas I only know a few basic courtesies in Arabic, but damn.

<3

Is the “fluffy one shot” pig doing whip its with those cans?  Cause that feels accurate.

@skyholdherbalist Yup! XD

THE PIG IS EATING PINE TREES IN THE PINING I CAN NOT DEAL.

IT GOT BETTER

Where’s the lemon buffet

Wow this is the best thing I’ve ever seen

*[evil cackling]*

I still love this so much

Me too tf, give me the blue bucket XD

A longstanding favorite. 

The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off

The spy is following me as I walk down the street. I bob in and out of shops. Pause and accelerate my pace randomly. Stop to tie my shoe so he loses sight of me. I stay perfectly out of his reach. This is all due to being sleep deprived, confused, hungry, and lost

The spy freezes my bank account. I do not notice for three weeks and only because Netflix sends me an email about non-payment

The spy chasing me does a stakeout at my house. After 4 days of trying to match my sleeping pattern he has to call HQ for backup

What did you do that requires a spy to follow you so thoroughly?

Honestly I have no idea. My best guess is that it's a misunderstanding

THAT’S THE NICEST COMMENT I’VE EVER READ.

I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event. 

Biggest failing of the internet is that in order to be vibing with my friends I have to actually be talking to them. I socialize like a cat I just show affection by sitting next to you. Ily but sometimes I have Nothing to say. Not a damn thing going on in my head

I don’t want to “have” a “conversation” I want to peel an orange and share it with you

I don’t know about human surgeons, but that’s a suture pattern I use to close skin all the time and you can see why.

remember not to embroider the patient

I’ve mentioned this before, but my parents introduced a system where if they tell you to do something and there’s a reason you can’t do it, you can ask “May I appeal,” and they’ll listen to whatever new information you have to present and either revise their command or tell you to do it anyway. This serves a few purposes: first, it’s really funny to hear a four-year-old use legal jargon. Second, having a system in place for protest that isn’t whining, complaining, or outright disobedience makes things easier for the parents. Third, it fosters an environment of mutual respect. The child knows that his reasoning is taken into consideration when the parents’ decision is made, and the parent knows that the child may have legitimate reasons for not obeying a command, while still reserving the right to the final decision.

I do remember telling a teacher that her request was “out of her jurisdiction” in kindergarten so it can backfire just FYI

If my kid asks me to do something that I know he can do himself I say, “I’m available on a consult basis.” :-D Meaning, he has to try it himself and I’ll pitch in if he really runs into trouble.

THAT IS ADORABLE (and probably a good idea, being background-available)

I SMASHED REBLOG SO HARD

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING

I have curated a vastly different fandom space on tumblr o.O all the authors I’ve read love Yen and she is included as family, who will kill you if you call her soft but she secretly loves being loved.

oh for fuck’s sake

Pretty! <3