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@angstbotfic
get into actual fights to the death to gain perspective

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Putting aside how surreal it is to use these stupid ass terms like unalive and grape and SA in modern vernacular it is actually so evil that things that are already stigmatized enough to even talk about are fully becoming bad words to even speak aloud along with how painful it must be to have your experience referred to in an almost comical way because someone is either so adjusted to internet speak they do it instinctually OR worst case scenario they want to be able to cover their ass when it comes to keeping their stupid fucking internet content monetized and uploaded
THANK YOU. Thank you for this.
It feels like a slap in the face whenever someone refers to my traumatic life experience as “grape”. It’s sending a message of silencing to victims. And honestly—the words “rape”, “sexual assault”, and “suicide” SHOULD make you uncomfortable!!! Discomfort spurs action!!! Censorship spurs ignorance.
Actual good first-time college student advice:
Wear jeans/pants that “breathe” and bring a sweater, even if it’s scorching hot out, until you know which building blasts the AC to 60 degrees F and which feels like a sauna
Backpacks with thick straps are your friend! Messenger bags are cool and all but if you’re commuting with a lot of stuff, symmetrically styled backpacks are better for your back
You are your own person and you can walk out whenever you need to or want to, so long as you’re not disrupting the class. Meaning you can go to the bathroom without permission, take a breather if you’re anxious, answer an important phone call, etc.
If you don’t like the class on the first day, if you can- DROP THAT CLASS AND TAKE ANOTHER ONE! It’ll only get worse from there!
If you can, take a class outside your major; it’s a good break from your expected studies.
You are in charge of your schedule. Your adviser and guidance counselor is there to ‘advise and guide’ but if you don’t like certain classes and you can substitute for others, that’s your choice.
Consequently, if you are changing anything drastic in your plan, talk with your adviser and instructors.
Pay attention to your credit hours and grades. Never leave this to the last week of school, you will be sorry and stressed beyond belief!
Unless it’s a lab book or otherwise specified, go to the class for a week or so before buying an expensive textbook. Some classes, while having it on their required list, do not actually use the textbook a whole lot and you might find some of it scanned online. Rent if you can or buy used online (schools actually don’t give discounts). Use your best judgement on what you think you need.
Tell the people who go up to you selling or advertising things you are not interested in that you are in a rush to class and don’t have time to listen to them. It’s less rude and they’ll leave you alone.
The smaller the class, the better it is to have some sort of acquaintanceship with a couple classmates. They might save your ass if you are absent one day or need to study. And talking with them makes the time go by faster without it being so insufferable.
You don’t need to join a club or sport, but internships are cool and useful!
If you can afford it, take a day off once or twice each semester if you’re too exhausted. Just be aware of what you missed and if it was worth missing!
Your health is the most important, this goes for mental health too!! Note: College-age/upper teens is when mental disorders like depression and anxiety are most commonly diagnosed. Most schools have therapy services, especially during exam time. Look into it if you need to!
Communicate with your professor if you are having trouble with something. Anything.
Eat and stay hydrated. Bring a water bottle and snack to class.
All-nighters will happen but never go over 36 hours without sleep.
It’s going to be hard and there will be times you might think about giving up. This WILL happen. You just have to make sure what you’re doing isn’t making you absolutely miserable and/or there is something rewarding and positive to look forward to at the end!
I did none of this and it bit me in the ass every time so this is EXCELLENT ADVICE.
ADDITIONAL ADVICE
Don’t let a mental health day turn into a mental health week because you will be so screwed.
Pay attention to the syllabus and do not lose it. A lot of professors put all of the assignment due dates in there and ONLY in there.
If your school has blackboard or moodle etc. CHECK IT. a lot of professors will only post certain info there and not talk about it in class
Check your student email account weekly. A lot of it will be unimportant junk but sometimes it’s the only way professors will communicate.
Check your student email multiple times DAILY.
THANK YOU. I’m so glad i have resources like this queued up in my ‘college’ tag bc honestly i was so stressed before
Advice from someone who really fucked up their freshman year:
READINGS ARE NOT OPTIONAL.
I REPEAT. READINGS. ARE. NOT. OPTIONAL.
Put them in your schedule, read BEFORE class. And summarise it. For bonus points, come up with some questions about the text and go introduce yourself to your professor either after class or during office hours, and ask them about it. This will make them much more likely to remember you in a positive light (and possibly bump your grade up if you hit a hard patch.)
Your library will have a copy of your textbook. If you cannot afford to rent it, you can go to the library and borrow it from the front desk for a few hours whenever you need it. It is there for you, okay?
SO DO YOUR READINGS.
When planning out your schedule, make sure you have a plan A and a plan B. Classes fill up fast so it’s better to have a back up plan.
Reblogging this because when I went to college back in the mid-90s, I could have used all this advice. I was the first person in my family to go to university, no one told me any of this, and the internet was not really A Thing yet. (For perspective, there were an entire two computers on campus which had access to the World Wide Web, because it was such a new concept that demand for it was low.) This would have been relevant then and it’s relevant now.
YOU. PROBABLY. HAVE. LAWYERS. NOW. Student Legal Services are a common thing on campus. USE THEM. They can act as a notary, they can often give any contracts for internships, jobs, or off campus living a look over for you as well. Before you sign *anything* read it first.
If you’re in any way prone to anxiety around being late or getting lost, go to campus on a day before the semester starts and walk through your schedule. Physically go to each classroom, lecture hall, etc. If you have only a few minutes to get from one class to another, you can tell the second professor on day one that you’ll be a little late (bus, weather, etc.) but you’ll be there. If your route is inaccessible, you can request accommodation or plan a workaround if you know in advance. If there are long gaps between classes and you can’t leave campus (this was the case for me due to public transit being lousy), you can find the best places to sit in the air conditioning, study in the quiet, eat lunch, grab a coffee, whatever. That way, when the campus is louder and more crowded during classes, you’ll still be able to navigate.
Not sure how relevant this is still, but if you have classes where you regularly have to turn in hardcopy assignments, get yourself a little stapler you can keep in your bag or wherever. I was amazed how often there ended up being a traffic jam for the use of the one stapler in each room. It’s not just handy for you, it’s also a good way to start making a connection with classmates. Just make sure you get it back when you loan it out!
Little stapler, little staple-picker, and a little USB drive so you can plug your assignment into the printer kiosk or lab computer and print it out. At least in my day (about ten years ago), you’d have a certain number of free printing pages loaded onto your student account that you could print off in the computer lab per semester.
I was in college 2005-2010, so I’m not sure how relevant my tips are, but things I found helpful–
- Wait a week or two before you drop $$$ on the required textbooks to see if you actually need them. Some classes would ask you buy books and then barely use them.
DEFINITELY buy used textbooks whenever possible. I am aware there is some fuckery now with digital textbooks being required, which can’t be resold, with required digital workbooks also. But anywhere you can buy used or previous editions, go for it. If someone can figure out how to pirate the ebooks, go for it. Textbook prices are a scam.
Read the syllabus and note how many absences are excused each semester. I liked to save a few of those to use to skip class and finish up projects/papers when I needed some extra time.
BACK UP YOUR FILES. Get a dropbox account or something to sync to your computer and backup your files. Then if your laptop dies you can still work on your papers and not be late.
On that note, see if there’s any good student discount on software. Now that everything is subscription it’s probably less useful than being able to buy a copy outright, but no harm in getting cheap/free programs while you can.
As someone working behind the scenes at a university library, I’m going to follow up on “the library will have a copy of your textbook”.
Books (and other resources) that a professor has asked the library to set aside for a class are called “course reserves”. The rules for checking out course reserves can be different from those for other materials–if a book needs to be available to the whole class, they can’t let one student keep it for three weeks. Make sure you know what the policy is!
Try not to put yourself in a position where you and everyone else are trying to get the same course reserve item the night before class.
Libraries also have subscriptions! If you find yourself needing a paywalled article, search for it through the library catalog, because odds are good that the library has paid the paywall for you.
If you have trouble accessing something ask the library staff! Publishers of ebooks and online journals love to set up weird hoops for people to jump through. Trust me the librarians are just as annoyed with this as you are.
Larger universities have Subject Area Librarians, that is, librarians who specialize in researching Art History or Spanish Literature or Computer Science or Sociology or whatever their area is. Talk to the librarian for your major and discover databases you never dreamed existed.
If there is anything that would make it easier for you to use the library, from materials you wish they had to accessibility issues, send in that suggestion! There will probably be something on the library website, or you can always ask whoever is at the desk how to send in feedback on [topic]. Librarians spend a LOT of time thinking about how to get people to use the library more, so suggestions are useful, and a record of specific requests from students helps them justify the funding.
Ok I want to say something controversial
But you are responsible for your own safe spaces. You can block tags, block words, block people.
“But i thought fandom was supposed to be a safe space” —yeah you have to curate it.
Unfortunately one persons’s safe space may be another persons’ trigger. That’s ok. Simply block them, block the tag, block the word etc. They can do the same for you.
Maybe I’m just out of touch, but I’ve been around since the days of “don’t like, don’t read” and that’s a good philosophy. If it squicks you, scroll past. If it causes you anxiety or upset, block! Plenty of people are responsive if you ask them to tag an upsetting trigger. And if they’re dicks about it, block em.
Since different people have different needs, one person’s safe space will be another’s Trauma Central.
I don’t know who said it first, but “I need to be able to express my anger without shame” and “I need to be away from yelling and loud noises” are both valid needs people can have for a safe space that really aren’t compatible with each other.
So are “I need to process my trauma” and “I need to not meet any trauma.”
Or “I want a safe space to tell/read the stories that speak to me” and “those stories are distressing to me.”
Insisting that your needs are the only needs anyone should have is not a safe space, it’s its own act of violence.
You don’t get to make others homeless to make the universe your personal safe space.
Read this bit again:
“Insisting that your needs are the only needs anyone should have is … its own act of violence.”
One of my all time biggest pet peeves with historical(ish) fantasy is when the writer constructs a religion with a clear bias that it's stupid and false and therefore only the Stupid People and/or commoners believe in it and all the smart/elite main characters are like, quasi-atheists or otherwise just routinely flout established religious conventions of orthodoxy and/or orthopraxy because they're Too Smart for it or etc.
It's usually an extension of assumptions that people in the past were just less intelligent than in the contemporary, just being like "I know that the sun is a star millions of miles away that the earth orbits, but this ancient religion describes it as a chariot flying through the sky" and not really bothering to learn the context and just (consciously or subconsciously) settling on 'that's a crazy thing to think and was probably believed in because they were Stupid'.
And that whole attitude pisses me off so much. People were as 'smart' 10,000 years ago as they are today. These beliefs aren't just desperate, random flailing to explain phenomena that could not directly be accounted for either, it's not like people just looked at the sun and went "Uhhh I don't know what the fuck that thing is, actually. I guess it might be a chariot or a boat or something?? Yeah let's go with that." and based entire religious practices on this. Every well-established belief system exists within broader contexts of cultural values/subjective perceptions of reality/knowledge systems/etc, and exist as part of a historical continuum of religious practices that came before. Even when not Materially Correct, they have context and internal logic, they're not always dead literal with zero levels of allegory, and they're never a result of stupidity.
also people today aren't universally enlightened: i once worked with a guy who thought planets like mars and jupiter were made up for movies. they were all just science fiction sets. i asked what he thought was in space if not planets and stars and stuff and he was like 'i never thought about it, it's not like it matters to here.' total indifference. i knew another guy who thinks the government makes the weather, that's the main priority of the airforce. this guy learned about cloud seeding and read some conspiracy stuff on chemtrails and is perfectly content with the knowledge that airplanes make clouds and all this fuss about global warming comes down to bureaucratic mismanagement of the weather machines. i've met another guy who thinks we faked the moon landing because it was too expensive to actually beat the russians so we just fooled them into quitting. there was never anyone in space, really. he had never heard of the ISS and when i showed him pictures of it he said they must be faked too. i told him it was an international project and he looked at me pityingly and pointed out you could just hire foreign actors, easy. i met another guy who knew the pyramids were spaceships and jews had built them for aliens but of course modern jews just wouldn't admit it. all of these guys were much better welders, mechanics, and engineers than i am.
part of the human condition is that everyone is stupid about something and some people are stupid about a lot of things. how many people ever actually gave a fuck what the sun really was? how many theologians who dedicate their lives to making sense of the world actually managed it?
im not saying this out of despair but out of affection and a sense of measured caution. most people have their own lives to live and their own narrow spheres to care about. they always have. shining truths tend to take a back seat.

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For any followers of mine still living with parents, guardians, family, or even just with roommates and who've never lived alone and/or fully on your own terms (whether ye be 16 or 60), I have TWO pieces of wisdom for you for when you eventually do:
You WILL discover that you were wrong about some shit you felt pretty strongly about before. Maybe you never realized how often your mom ACTUALLY cleans the bathroom and it turns out she asked for help really rarely. Maybe, much as it grates to admit, putting $50 into a different savings account every paycheck really IS the ONLY way to save any fucking money. Maybe that big rolling trashcan you resented your roommate putting in the kitchen, and got in that big fight about, really WAS super convenient and now you have to buy one for yourself after they move out and take it with them. Maybe blanching vegetables so they retain their color when cooked actually DOES enhance a meal, pretty food slaps actually, and the reason you didn't think it was worth the effort is because you were depressed.
You WILL also discover new shit that works SO much better for you than everything you'd been taught. Maybe you'll discover that dropping trash off at a recycling center at your convenience works way better for your brain than getting it picked up on a set day. Maybe you'll realize you don't actually hate tofu, you just hate how your family cooks tofu. Maybe you'll love being able to walk around the house naked whenever you want. Maybe you'll find you thrive in a space with giant framed nude photography, or taxidermy animals, or fandom themed Everything. Maybe you'll realize that keeping the thermostat set like 5 degrees colder (or hotter) than is typical makes you sleep better than you ever have before in your whole life.
The point of this wisdom is: Stay humble, but also, stay excited. There's no point pretending you weren't wrong about shit you were wrong about, just eat the crow and move on. But also, there's so much to look forward to about your own space-- even more than you could ever imagine when you don't have it yet.
Expanding a bit on the post I just reblogged, I absolutely HATE how a surprisingly large portion of the population now thinks that feminism is synonymous with being a "girlboss". The idea that working some kind of professional job and being successful at it is the only way to do feminism is insane. People will literally say "feminism has failed us" or "I'm giving up on feminism" when they're unhappy with their jobs. Babes idk how to explain this to you but that is not a problem with feminism that is a problem with your job. You don't need a rich man to provide for you while you take care of the kids you need a goddamn union and some paid leave
The reason why feminists of past generations fought for middle to upper class women to leave the house and join the workforce was not because they thought working a job is some kind of emotionally fulfilling activity. They fought for that because housewives at the time were completely at the mercy of their husbands. If you were a housewife and your husband was abusive, or you just didn't love him anymore and wanted out, you had nowhere to go. You had no money because he controlled the finances, you had no car or place to stay because his name was on the title for both, you had no job because you stayed at home and no education or work experience with which to get a job because you probably got married pretty young. The point of getting women into the workforce was to make women less dependent on men because if you depend on someone for the roof over your head and the food on your plate, they can do whatever the fuck they want to you and you'll have absolutely no recourse.
The natural next step of this thought process should be "ok, now women are in the workforce, they are not dependent on men in the way they once were, how can we change the structure of work such that it doesn't make everyone fucking miserable" giving up on feminism because your predecessors fought for the right for you to have a well-paying job and your job sucks is such an intellectually lazy conclusion to come to.
Like hey, if you've ever thought "working for a living is miserable, I wish I had a man to pay all the bills" do yourself a favor and ask yourself why that was the solution your brain went to? Why is it that when you feel like work is sucking your soul, the first solution you go to is to become a housewife? Maybe it's because as a girl, you were taught that being a housewife is a good and admirable thing to do, and even though you were also taught that it's good to have a career as a woman, everyone for your whole life has always been subtly, gently nudging you toward the idea of "settling down". Have you considered that perhaps that is an expression of a system of social organization that prioritizes the needs of men over women and encourages women to submit to the whims of men? You know, like some kind of *patriarchy*? Damn if only we had some kind of ideology to combat that...
Man unintentionally teaches his Corgi sign language! 😊 Follow me for more smart puppers!
A dog's primary language is body language, so things like hand signals and sign language they'll learn even faster than verbal cues!
People really underestimate their pet dogs. I taught my dogs what 'excuse me' means by just saying it and nudging them out of the way. Now I don't have to worry about them getting underfoot when I'm holding a hot pan- I say 'excuse me' and they move. There's a hand gesture I use when I'm done giving them treats so they know there's no point begging for anything else.
They even know what 'accident' and 'I'm sorry' means. Anyone who has ever accidentally stepped on their dog's tail or done something else that hurts or scares them, and laments how they can't tell their dogs they didn't mean it?
You can. Literally, any time it happens, say that you're sorry and it was an accident while showering them with affection. If you have more than one dog you'll see they do that kind of thing when they accidentally hurt each other. If you act the same way and say the same words every time something happens, they'll learn what the word means. Hell, I accidentally taught my dogs to act really gentle and not get too close when they're around puppies and infants (or any animal delicate and small) just by always going 'that's a baby' very seriously and firmly any time they were around one.
I still think the single funniest thing about the cybertruck is that it has all those security cameras built in that are set to activate if anyone gets too close to the vehicle...and those cameras need electricity to run, and the cybertruck is a piece of shit that has way less battery life than you'd think, so you can legit just fuck over the owner by just standing near it and doing nothing else.
Like goddamn Elongated Muskrat found a way to let us siphon gas out of a car without even touching it. Fucking incredible.
Also like...what the fuck are the cops gonna do. I've seen how close you need to be to activate them and it's a reasonable distance, and besides if it's parked near other cars people are going to have to get close to it. Plausible deniability. I wasn't sabotaging the truck I was just getting a look at it. Or walking past it. Or trying to get to my car.
Phenomenal.
Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
that's a fucking abysmal number that's pathetic. there really is no excuse for this
Fascinated by the two hundred and sixty-one M/M Taylor Swift fics
They're the ones where she gets sold to One Direction (the boys make out with each other not her)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
tumblr users: i hate tiktok it's the worst
every post of a tiktok video: 12,746 reblogs, 45,094 likes
yes but the experience of occassionally seeing a curated-by-my-homies tiktok vid on my dash is so violently different from the endless stream of scrolling through algorithmic video content. i crave variety. what is my social media experience without walls of text interrupted randomly by videos of ducks and pictures of weird vegan brownies.
#every tiktok that appears on my dash has gone through at minimum 2 layers of human peer review
ALL HAIL CECILIA PAYNE
This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.
This is better than anything I’ve ever made.
Post that lives in my head rent free
Absolutely THRILLED that this post is making the rounds again.
I’d never seen this video before, but just from the visuals, I KNEW what the audio was going to be. (If you don’t want to unmute, I can confirm that it’s that song with all the “AAAAAAA, AAAAAA” in it, and the image in the sky of the singer in a cowboy hat.)
Oh look, it’s back!
also there's no one stopping you from loving a badly written woman. in fact sometimes a badly written woman will crawl inside your brain and live there forever.
tags i have gotten on this post within less than a week;
• taylor swift. who is not a poorly written woman because she is from real life.
• various people tagging themselves. you are not a poorly written woman because you are from real life.
• unreality. i do not think any mention of fiction ever constitutes unreality.
As someone who works with social history for a living, I feel like I’m the aggressive opposite of an anti-vaxxer
I fucking LOVE vaccines, friends. Give me the science stab. I’m so ready. it’s a beautiful day to not die of a Bajillion and one diseases that carried off like half the population before they had even reached age 10, and a significant portion before they made it to old age, 150 years ago
I go to the old cemetery. I see the vast numbers of infant and child and young adult graves. And then I go to my doctor and get injected with Potion of Fuck That Noise. This is beautiful and miraculous and I do not remotely understand how some people can reject it – not just for themselves, but for their children

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Also in people's homes. I don't see having people labeled toilets in their houses and appartments as male and female, it's a toilet. You use it. You flush it. You wash your hands and leave.
Introducing: LCAoRs!
Or... "What if they had Ao3 on the Enterprise-D?"
GitHub repository | Instructions
Because I'm a giant nerd with too many hobbies, I made an Ao3 site skin based off of the computer interface in Star Trek TNG! This was my first attempt at an entire skin, so I hope people like it :)