You are in for Major Trouble

God is a big, invisible, lamb-beaver made of bread. This is my new religion.

all the best weed in america comes from a single farm run by the last bigfoot in existence

Ask not for whom the gurdy hurds. It hurds for thee.

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

i don't really want to weight in on the "using big words in your writing is ableist" discourse happening on tiktok because i'm like 90% certain it's an anti-intellectual psyop to stir up drama in online circles to promote the use of ai to summarize literally everything and thus feeding the LLMs and lowering the populace's mistrust of such tools but i also have to say: dictionaries and thesauruses are the most accessible they've ever been. if you use an e-reader of any kind you can look up a word without leaving the page. there's a plethora of online dictionaries and if you just type a word + "meaning" into google it'll usually give you a definition. we used to have pocket dictionaries we used when reading in class. i have two on my shelf right now that i used in high school. stop letting the fascists purposefully misuse anti-ableism rhetoric to trick you into never thinking again.

tumblr recommending communities to you is an awesome way to discover a constant stream of new and exciting groups of 30 to 200 people you Dont want to meet ever

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

Love that some of you are reblogging this. You looked at a picture of a guy with his head in a mailbox and went "yeah"

Can't wait to see if everyone did something like this or if they had a normal reaction. I will keep you posted.

[ID: a photo of a pale person wearing a black t-shirt and jeans with his head in a mailbox /END ID]

Hey you guys should make this into a meme.

Perfect

2017-2018 Subaru Forester

I love it here.

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

Holy Shit