YamiTami

I’m sorry MS PAINT????

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

not to say bridgerton is s miracle of modern cinema. but why isnt a single gay regency good

notes on things about queer regencies that are bad and ponderings upon the regency genre as a concept: 1. i think like a decent amount of romances written today they fall prey to the Therapy Is Sexy attitude that no amount of historical trapping will ever make not jarring. relatedly. its not enough to say 'homosexual' you do actually have to research historical understandings of sexuality and queer culture i think. 2. and related to this you have to let your principals be monumental asses to each other.its like some of you bavent read pride and prejudice seriously. which 3. hm well not to say your characters have to adapt fully the sentiments of the period but like they should exist as background u know? 4. this one is maybe more controversial also but you need to have charavters that arent the two mcs and maybe a younger sibling. who will personify the scanadalized ton in a vacuum BOOOORING u r all boring. 5. im that one friend thats too shakespeare but like i think many regency novels would be improved if the authors framed them less like a romance plus cravats and more like a comedy of manners. plus cravats also lol. but i think inchresting how the genre of regency has lost this framing so quickly ?? put more social commentary and negotation back in the regency novel. this is also why 6. and this one is. definitely personal but idk if its possible to untangle regency romance from an ending of marriage/working everyone back around to an acceptable normative uninterrupted society. to me that narrative of conservative restabilization is kind of at the root of it for better or worse. not that it cant be done but i cant quite see my way to it

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

like what if i go to the kitchen at night to get some water and an underwater cave system is there

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer