some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

I still think one of the funniest experiences of my life was watching American Psycho with my sister and afterwards we both went "okay. Lets do something more lighthearted now" and put on the dubbed version of Howl's Moving Castle and we both lost our minds when we heard Howl start talking

Boy, you short as hell. Let me smell them balls.

Just so everyone knows, this post is based on an interaction I had with my boyfriend because he made some comment about Jerma (twitch streamer) being short and I said, “okay well, you’re like the same height as him so I don’t see why you’re callin him short when you’re just as short as he is,” and my boyfriend made a pissed off lookin face at me, and I said, “now let me smell them balls,” like completely unrelated to what I was previously saying, just trying to make a move on him as I always have been for the past 6 years or so we’ve been together. And he laughed cause I had the audacity to try that immediately after basically insulting him. I say insulting, but it’s also worth noting that I’m shorter than he is, like we’re both short men. Anyways, the original joke was about insulting someone and then trying to make a move right afterwards, but I appreciate the amount of you saying, “so me, I love short men,” like reading it only a positive manner. I love the attitude, but I wouldn’t recommend saying this to anyone until you’ve been with the guy for over three years or so maybe. Like if someone said this to me on Tinder I’d be like, “okay man, fuck off,” but I appreciate the attitude and positivity y’all have nonetheless.

Song is Hidden Wave by Soshi Takeda. I don’t remember who reposted this dog video onto Tumblr, but I replaced the music with this because the original version I saw had this really annoying music playing over it.

Seasons greetings, everyone. This year I hope you all plan to spread the joy by getting together with friends and loved ones, getting in your cars, and blasting the Eurobeat Christmas classic, Night on Fire - Christmas version, while spreading the cheer with a holly jolly street race, driving 90 miles per hour on icy roads. In Eurobeat Christmas tradition we say "Have a Christmas on fire," because if you go fast enough, your tires will catch fire, and it will melt the ice, culminating in a Christmas miracle of surviving the race. But if that doesn't work, then I wish you a Dangerous Christmas, and a Life-Threatening New Year. May your street races be merry and gay. Have a Christmas on Fire. And God bless everyone.

I watched Godzilla last night for the first time. Great movie. Beautiful execution of themes. Thought provoking. I also played Cities Skylines last night for the first time. Horrible game. Simply horrid. Very stressful. Gave me a hangover this morning. I would rather simply watch another movie of Godzilla destroying a city than ever try to manage a city the way that game wants me to ever again.