Xarlaxas

The Tensorate Series - JY Yang: four fantasy novellas about the guild of Tensors, magic users who can control elemental forces known as the Slack. V political, v beautifully written. Gender is a key theme but also there are dragons (naga), so there’s something for everyone tbh. 

Love Beyond Body, Space And Time - anthology: a collection of indigenous sci-fi / spec fic stories with LGBTQ and two-spirit characters and themes. Stories include narratives of transition, love stories, and just good ol’ space romps. 

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror - Daniel M. Lavery: a collection of fairytale retellings with a spooky and disturbing twist. Some of these are darkly comic, and others are just plain dark. All are beautifully written, because Lavery is just That Writer. 

The Spirits Series - Jordan L Hawk: a very spicy paranormal romance trilogy about Henry Strauss, an inventor, and Vincent Night, a psychic, whose differing approaches to communing with the dead cause (I’m so sorry) friction. These ones ain’t for the kiddies, but they’re so good and spooky.

The Mechanical Universe - EE Ottoman: a romance series (w a trans male protag!) set in a sort of steampunk universe, where spellcraft and mechanical animation are vying for equal respect. Tbh, everything by EE Ottoman is Very Good And Trans - The Doctor’s Discretion is my personal fave. Recommend 100%.

Peter Darling - Austin Chant: a trans retelling of Peter Pan, where Peter returns to Neverland to find that his place there is now much less certain than it was before, and he no longer belongs anywhere. There is also a romance with Captain Hook, but it works! I promise! 

The Danielle Cain series - Margaret Killjoy: a duology of novellas following Danielle Cain, a queer punk rock nomad, as she solves spooky mysteries. The first book is set in an anarchist settlement, and the theme of found family + community is prevalent throughout. 

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon: on board the spaceship HSS Matilda, the last of humanity make their journey towards the Promised Land. Conditions on board are akin to the Antebellum South, and protagonist Aster is driven to find her way off the ship - if she can. 

I Wish You All the Best - Mason Deaver: a non binary teen, Ben, comes out to their parents and is kicked out. Their sister takes them in and they start a new school, where their life begins to change for the better. This one is v sweet and deals well with mental illness. 

Resilience - anthology: a collection of poetry and prose by trans women and amab trans people, featuring work by Casey Plett, KOKUMO, Magpie Leibowitz and many more. 

Small Beauty - jia qing wilson-yang: a mixed race Chinese trans woman returns to her small town Canada home after the death of her cousin, and she deals with her trauma and grief. Beautiful and sad, and absolutely honest about grief. 

Little Fish - Casey Plett: a trans woman begins to believe that her late Mennonite grandfather may have been trans, and while her own life starts to cave in, she attempts to connect with him through those who knew him. This one is A Lot but it’s phenomenal.

A Boy Called Cin - Cecil Wilde: a romance novel (so it’s SPICY) about Cin, a young trans man, and Tom, an older genderqueer billionaire. This is not your typical billionaire romance AT ALL; healthy relationships are depicted beautifully here alongside the reality of transition.

Confessions of the Fox - Jordy Rosenberg: a retelling of Jack Sheppard, the famous jailbreaker and thief. It’s told as though a trans man has discovered a manuscript about Jack (who is trans) and Jack’s story unfolds alongside the personal narrative of the manuscript discoverer. 

Nameless Woman - anthology: a collection of fiction by trans women of colour. There’s something for everyone here - romance, sci fi, personal narratives and more. A lot of the topics covered are very heavy but they’re treated honestly and sensitively. 

Maiden, Mother, Crone - anthology: a collection of fantasy stories about trans women and femmes. You want a story about a dread trans chthonic goddess? Of course you do. It’s right here. Enjoy. 

Caroline’s Heart - Austin Chant: a romance between a trans man (a COWBOY nonetheless) and a trans woman (a WITCH). Cecily has been trying to bring her lover, Caroline, back from the dead via magic, but when Roy gives his life to save her, she has a choice to make. 

The Queen of Cups - Ren Basel: a novelette about Theo, who’s about to set sail on their first voyage. As per their village’s custom, they ask the Oracle to bless their voyage, and she agrees - if she can come along. A great treatise on bravery, loyalty and independence. 

Amateur - Thomas Page McBee: not fiction, but OH WELL!! You gotta read it!! The autobiography of a trans man who learns to box and asks questions about what kind of man he wants to be; can he avoid repeating the toxic masculinity he fears? 

Trans Power - Juno Roche: also not fiction! Oops! Take me to court!! Roche interviews multiple trans people about their relationships with their transness, their sexuality and their bodies, and the result is a super empowering and beautiful book. 

The Shape of My Name - Nino Cipri: a novelette about time travel. I really can’t say much about this one because it’s better to go in without knowing a lot, but the main theme is self discovery and acceptance, especially within the context of a neglectful / abusive family. 

Pet - Akwaeke Emezi: the children in the city of Lucille know that there are no more monsters. They’ve been told so. So when Jam meets Pet, who definitely seems to be a monster, she has to face the problem of saving the world from something that it refuses to admit exists. 

There are obviously many more trans fiction authors out there, but these are the ones I’ve read and can call to mind immediately. On my to read list are Juno Dawson (who writes YA primarily), Kai Cheng Thom (whose story in Maiden, Mother, Crone was my favourite), Meredith Russo (also writes YA), Leslie Feinberg, and Sybil Lamb.

I know there’s a lot going on in the world, but you probably haven’t heard about what’s happening in Australia.

we’re on fire.

approximately ¼ of australia’s population is in catastrophic fire danger. A catastrophic fire level means your only chance of surviving is leaving before it’s too late.

it’s Spring in Australia, and rainforests aren’t meant to be dry enough to burn, yet at the time of writing this (11/11/19) there are 71 active fires in NSW (43 out of control), and 51 active fires in Queensland - not including those that have already burned before now, and there are more in other states. Sydney is already rated “catastrophic”, the first time this rating has ever been used there since its creation in 2009. That’s right, we had to add yet another level of destructiveness, because “high”, “very high”, “severe”, and “extreme” were no longer adequate. To quote the Fire Danger Ratings, “for your survival, leaving early is the only option”. conditions tomorrow will be the worst they have been, and people are evacuating as we speak. the fire fighters are preparing as best they can.

This isn’t just about people losing their homes; people have died and will die, countless animals have already lost their lives and many more will still perish. our land, our lives, and our hope is up in flames and will soon be nothing but ash. the annual fire season has not even begun yet. this is only the beginning. my native land is burning, and there is nothing i can do to stop it.

the government refuses to acknowledge that we are in a climate crisis. the fires have never been this bad. we have been in severe drought for more than a year which has only contributed to the force of these fires. the Prime Minister Scott Morrison has done nothing but send his “thoughts and prayers”. He will not accept aid from other countries because he is too egotistical to admit that we need it. All the while the people of this land are suffering. Climate change needs radical human change to be combated. we are already seeing the results of years of indifference, and this is barely the beginning of something that will only get worse the longer government’s and big companies refuse to act to counteract climate change.

Our government has also cut funding to Fire and Rescue NSW by 35.4%, the Rural Fire Service by 75.2%, and QLD Rural Fire Service by 26.42%, resulting in closures of services; they don’t have the resources to cope. We are fighting a losing battle against the results of climate change.  and this is only the beginning.

At least 6 million people today are prepared for evacuating. There are strong winds, low humidity, and high temperatures which will only exacerbate and encourage the fires. Authorities have warned that there aren’t enough fire trucks to help everyone, so unless you are prepared to the maximum, you need to leave. 600 schools and TAFE’s across NSW have been closed due to the fires, with others in Queensland closing due to air quality being virtually unbreathable due to smoke. Rural Fire Service Deputy Commisioner Rob Rogers said the state was as prepared as it could be, with military aircraft on standby to rescue people from fires if needed.

As Queensland and New South Wales deal with these unprecedented bushfires, there is a lot of talk about how to stop, or at least reduce them. David Bowman is a professor of environmental change biology at the University of Tasmania and he says the short answer is that climate change is making a bad situation worse.

But it’s also much more complex than that. Much of Australia’s natural biodiversity has evolved to withstand and even stop bushfires due to a multitude of species being in one area. Eucalyptus trees encourage fires as they help spread seeds, but other species are naturally flame retardant and help to curb the fires. The issue is that so much of the native bush has been cut down for farming and agriculture that the natural fire defence has virtually been destroyed. Australia is the leading country in mammal extinction, as well as one of the worst 7 for biodiversity loss.

There have already been significant harmful impacts to wildlife, with entire ecosystems up in smoke and individual species affected, including around 350 Koalas presumed dead – all before the fires have reached their peak.

my heart goes out to the victims of the current fires, which we know have been exacerbated by the decline of native biodiversity. Australian conservation efforts need a radical overhaul. Mitigating the intensity of these fires, mostly set by humans and their activities, can be achieved by restoring our native ecosystem engineers, such as bandicoots, bettongs and potoroos.

These species help to maintain healthy forests by continually turning over and breaking down forest leaf litter, thereby drastically reducing fuel load. In their absence, fires are more intense, often reaching the treetops, which can affect populations of species already on the brink, like the Koala.

Slow growing and ancient Australian East coast temperate forests are of global significance, as these forests have some of the highest carbon storage on the planet. Fires of this intensity threaten their very existence but managing wildlife to reduce fire intensity and protect forests is under-appreciated for its importance in reducing the release of carbon into the atmosphere.

If you wish to donate to the NSW Rural Fire Service, follow this link. I’m not sure if it works for countries outside Australia, but if you can spare some money, please try

Or you can donate to the Red Cross who have set up many shelters and are providing first aid, and are trying to fund small kits to provide families with basic necessities

Area comparison for aid in understanding the sheer size:

plus six or seven people who just….can’t figure out what a frog paper could possibly be. (guys it’s…a scientific paper. about frogs.)

and this one

which made me laugh despairingly because i mean

“Underwent unplanned rapid disassembly” – it exploded, and it wasn’t an explosion we wanted to happen

“Lithobraking maneuver” – it stopped because it hit the goddamned ground.

“Engine-rich exhaust” – the engine bell melted or evaporated, or the engine ejected itself out the back of the rocket without having a very good reason to do so.

“Fishing orbit” – the craft is in the ocean instead of space and we didn’t mean to put it there

“Thrust was observed along an undesired vector” – the engine leaked and the rocket spun off into oblivion.

“Wearing his manager hat” – a moron who shouldn’t be an engineer (a reference to the infamous quote “take off your engineer hat and put on your manager hat” in the meeting in which the Challenger was cleared for launch)

What a lot of fans, especially more casual ones, don’t seem to realize is that the currency in the Pokemon games it based on the Japanese yen. The symbol for the currency in the games even resembles the yen symbol:

In fact, according to Bulbapedia, the ‘Poke dollar’ symbol was specifically created for the English translations of the games, and the original Japanese versions use the yen symbol.

Now, for perspective, although the exact exchange rate naturally varies, a US dollar is equivalent to about 120 Japanese yen. So, 200 yen is about $1.67. 

A Pokeball in the Pokemon games actually cost less then two bucks. 

There’s a REASON we see so many young kids training Pokemon, especially early in the games. The cost of investing into a Pokeball to try catching their own Pokemon easily falls into the range of a typical kid’s allowance. A Potion for healing after battles is 300 (or about $2.50), but since Pokemon Centers offer their healing services for free, that’s a moot point.

Youngsters in the early game only give within a range from 50-150 of the currency, which is about equivalent to $0.40-$1.25. The first Gym Leader in Hoenn Region, Roxanne, give 1,680 in Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire, equivalent to about $14. Which is about right for the equivalent of a middle or high school honors student. A later Gym Leader, Winona, gives 4,200, or about $35. The Champion, Steven, gives 11600, or $96.67.

The winnings from enemy Trainers varies, but Ace Trainers seem to give out about 1500 or $14 on average, give or take. Swimmers (especially common later in ORAS), award a range from 400-800, or $3.33-$6.67.

Vitamins (such as Calcium, Iron, and HP UP), cost 9,800 or $81.67 each. An Ultra Ball cost 1,200, or $10. A Paralyze Heal costs the same as a Pokeball, while an Awakening is half that. A Revive is 1,500, or $12.50.

What’s the point of doing this? Well, for one, to get a better sense of the in-game economics, which can be hard to grasp if one doesn’t realize the in-game ‘Poke dollars’ are based on the Japanese yen. And a look at said economics reveals some interesting details.

First, it shows basic Pokemon training and raising is well within the affordability of a ten-year old, or older. Which makes sense as Pokemon is aimed at younger kids, and the develops would want them to have the sense that going on a Pokemon journey is something they could do if they somehow ended up in the Pokemon world.

On the other hand, it also shows there’s really not that much money to be made in Pokemon raising and training, unless you battle frequently and regularly against higher-level opponents regularly and and win. Which is…very much in line with how professional sports work in real-life. Pokemon battling gets compared to a sporting event a lot for a reason. The initial 3-D games were even called Pokemon *Stadium.* Parallels are frequently drawn between the Pokemon League tournaments and the Olympics in the anime. The low money output is probably also why we often see Gym Leaders and the like working other jobs.

Just something interesting I decided to look into. I’m a Pokemon fan first, before any other fandom, and always will be. It’s shocking that I haven’t written any meta on it yet.

The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.

Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.

One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).

But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)

Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.

And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/condom-size-chart-906776

Find a copy of the customer agreement online. Read it. Have the “big cats in boxes” YouTube video on standby so that you can renew your will to live periodically while reading it.

Focus on the sections about cancellation

Examine any terms regarding early termination fees, notice required, proration of the time between cancellation and the end of the billing period, and equipment return policies.

Send a letter requesting cancellation to your carrier via certified mail. Include the date you wish for it to be cancelled. If you are not the account holder but have power of attorney, or the account holder has died and you are managing their estate, send copies of the relevant documentation with the letter. 

The day after, when it isn’t cancelled, call back. Ask for “retention” or “loyalty” and when asked why, state that you wish to cancel. 

They’ll ask you why you want to cancel. Say “I don’t want to discuss it, I just want to cancel my service.” (note: there are times when it pays to disclose your reasons; my company will waive all early termination fees and penalties if the account holder is being entering military deployment or a nursing home. Check their policies.)

They’ll offer something nice. Bundles, discounts, free channels, etc. Say “as nice as that sounds, and as much as I appreciate the offer, I just need to cancel my service.”

When they deflect again, ask how to return any leased equipment. They’ll launch into another spiel about that, thankful that you aren’t making them process the cancellation. Write down the process – they’ll either tell you to bring the equipment to a local office, or they’ll state that they are sending recovery kits. If it’s the latter, ask for the address that the recovery kits return to and write it down (you want to use the recovery kit if you get one, since it’s prepaid, but if they aren’t sent you’ll want to be able to return the equipment yourself.) 

After all of this has transpired, state “As I stated in the letter sent via certified mail on [date], I am ending our contractual relationship and terminating this subscription. Has my cancellation order been processed?”

If the cancellation order has not been processed, tell them to process it. Listen to their spiel. Ask for the date that it will be terminated.

Hang up, wait thirty minutes. Call back, ask if your account is pending cancellation or not. If not, ask to be transferred to retention and ask for a supervisor. Demand that your cancellation be processed and advise them that a complaint will be filed with the FCC if it is not. 

and it has an even happier ending!

It’s easy to free up your cache and delete cookies. The option is immediately viewable in settings instead of hidden away in the alcoves of who knows where.

Unless you favorite a page, it automatically clears it after 7 days, which is awesome if you hate clearing tabs like I do.

They plant trees everywhere.

Ecosia updates you on their progress- not with annoying update notifications, but with a button you can click as you type up your search if you’re curious.

The tree count is shown just beneath the search bar.

It is an app too and only takes up 18.2 MB. That’s the equivalent of nine live pictures on your phone.

You can view your own tree count. Mine’s 2,475 trees. I have had the app for six months. Do you know how much acreage that is? It’s a heckin’ ton of acres.

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

"I like your mother. You have your mother's breasts."

"Her breasts."

Non-newtonian slimes

Hitting them harder does less damage

Their AC is 13 and you have to roll below it to hit

I made it

I get the urge towards that headcanon, and I do think the Crowley in the miniseries comes off as nicer than the one in the book.  (I think miniseries Crowley and Aziraphale are both a little nicer, a little more toothless, than the versions of themselves in the book.)  But maybe it’s because I was a book fan first, or maybe it’s because I just find him infinitely more interesting this way–I think Crowley, even show!Crowley, has the capacity to be very good at his job of sowing evil.  And I think that matters to the story as a whole.

A demon’s job on Earth, and specifically Crowley’s job on Earth, isn’t to make people suffer.  It’s to make people sin.  And the handful of ‘evil’ things we see Crowley do over the course of the series are effective at that, even if the show itself doesn’t explore them a lot.

Take the cell phone network thing, for instance.  This gets a paragraph in the book that’s largely brushed off in the conversation with Hastur and Ligur, and I think it’s really telling: 

What could he tell them?  That twenty thousand people got bloody furious?  That you could hear the arteries clanging shut all across the city?  And that then they went back and took it out on their secretaries or traffic wardens or whatever, and they took it out on other people?  In all kinds of vindictive little ways which, and here was the good bit, they thought up themselves.  For the rest of the day.  The pass-along effects were incalculable.  Thousands and thousands of souls all got a faint patina of tarnish, and you hardly had to lift a finger.

In essence, without any great expenditure of effort (look, I’d never say Crowley isn’t slothful, but that just makes him efficient), he’s managed to put half of London in a mental and emotional state that Crowley knows will make them more inclined to sin.  He’s given twenty thousand or a hundred thousand or half a million people a Bad Day.  Which, okay, it’s just a bad day–but bad days are exhausting.  Bad days make you snap, make you fail at things, make you feel guiltier and more stressed out in the aftermath when you wake up the next day, makes everything a little worse.  Bad days matter.

Maybe it’s because I’m a believer in the ripple effect of small kindnesses, and that means I have to believe in its opposite.  Maybe it’s just that I, personally, have had enough days that were bad enough that a downed cell network (or an angry coworker because of a downed cell network) would honestly have mattered.  But somebody who deliberately moves through the world doing their best to make everyone’s lives harder, with the aim of encouraging everybody around them to be just a little crueler, just a little angrier, just a little less empathetic–you know what, yes.  I do call that successful evil.

It’s subtle, is the thing.  That’s why Hastur and Ligur don’t get it, don’t approve of it.  Not because Crowley isn’t good at his job, but because we’ve seen from the beginning that Hastur and Ligur are extremely out of touch with humanity and the modern world and just plain aren’t smart enough to get it.  It’s a strategy that relies on understanding how humans work, what our buttons are and how to press them.  It’s also a strategy that’s remarkably advanced in terms of free will.  Hastur and Ligur deliberately tempt and coerce and entrap individuals into sinning, but Crowley never even gets close.  We never see him say to a single person, ‘hey, I’ve got an idea for you, why don’t you go do this bad thing?’  He sets up conditions to encourage humans to actually do the bad things they’re already thinking of themselves.  He creates a situation and opens it up to the results of free choice.  Every single thing a person does after Crowley’s messed with them is their own decision, without any demonic coercion to blame for any of it.

You see it again in the paintball match.  “They wanted real guns, I gave them what they wanted.”  In this case, Crowley didn’t need to irritate anybody into wanting to do evil–the desire to shoot and hurt and maybe even kill their own coworkers was already present in every combatant on that paintball field.  Crowley just so happened to be there at exactly the right time to give them the opportunity to turn that fleeting, kind-of-bad-but-never-acted-upon desire into real, concrete, attempted murder.  Sure, nobody died–where would be the fun in a pile of corpses?  But now forty-odd people who may never have committed a real act of violence in their entire lives, caught in a moment of weakness with real live weapons in their hands, will get to spend the rest of their lives knowing that given the opportunity and the tiniest smidgen of plausible deniability, they are absolutely the sort of people who could and would kill another human being they see every single day over a string of petty annoyances.

Crowley understands the path between bad thought and evil action.  He knows it gets shorter when somebody is upset or irritated, and that it gets shorter when people practice turning one into the other.  He understands that sometimes, removing a couple of practical obstacles is the only nudge a person needs–no demonic pressure or circumvention of free will required.

I love this interpretation, because I love the idea that Crowley, who’s been living on Earth for six thousand years, actually gets people in a way no other demon can.  I love the idea that Crowley, the very first tempter, who was there when free will was invented, understands how it works and how to use it better than maybe anyone else.  And I really love the idea that Crowley our hero, who loves Aziraphale and saves the world, isn’t necessarily a good guy.

There’s a narrative fandom’s been telling that, at its core, is centered around the idea that Crowley is good, and loves and cares and is nice, and always has been.  Heaven and its rigid ideas of Right and Wrong is itself the bad thing.  Crowley is too good for Heaven, and was punished for it, but under all the angst and pain and feelings of hurt and betrayal, he’s the best of all of them after all.

That’s a compelling story.  There’s a reason we keep telling it.  The conflict between kindness and Moral Authority, the idea that maybe the people in charge are the ones who’re wrong and the people they’ve rejected are both victim and hero all at once–yeah.  There’s a lot there to connect with, and I wouldn’t want to take it away from anyone.  But the compelling story I want, for me, is different.

I look at Crowley and I want a story about someone who absolutely has the capacity for cruelty and disseminating evil into the world.  Somebody who’s actually really skilled at it, even if all he does is create opportunities, and humans themselves just keep living down to and even surpassing his expectations.  Somebody who enjoys it, even.  Maybe he was unfairly labeled and tossed out of heaven to begin with, but he’s embraced what he was given.  He’s thrived.  He is, legitimately, a bad person.

And he tries to save the world anyway.

He loves Aziraphale.  He helps save the entire world.  Scared and desperate and determined and devoted, he drives through a wall of fire for the sake of something other than himself.  He likes humans, their cleverness, their complexities, the talent they have for doing the same sort of evil he does himself, the talent they have for doing the exact opposite.  He cares.

It’s not a story about someone who was always secretly good even though they tried to convince the whole world and themself that they weren’t.  It’s a story about someone who, despite being legitimately bad in so many ways, still has the capacity to be good anyway.  It’s not about redemption, or about what Heaven thinks or judges or wants.  It’s about free will.  However terrible you are or were or have the ability to be, you can still choose to do a good thing.  You can still love.  You can still be loved in return.

I was a little nervous. I'd loved Gaiman's work for a long time, and had dithered over which books I wanted him to sign as the limit was two. Eventually, I settled on Stardust and Fragile Things - as it was the Fragile Things tour (if I remember correctly), and Stardust had a special place in my heart.

As soon as I stepped inside, I realised there was absolutely no reason to be nervous. There was this chilled out, completely at ease guy with a leather jacket and curly hair. He smiled at his fans. He actually talked to them, and was actually interested in what they had to say, not wanting to hurry them along. I took a (very bad) picture while he signed someone else's book.

Then came my turn, and my nerves completely vanished. He asked for my name, and I spelled it for him as Richelle is quite unusual.

"That's a really cool name," he said, "Where did your parents get that from?" I explained it was my aunt's middle name. "What does it mean?" He asked. I told him I didnt know, but that it was the French feminine of Richard, after my great grandad.

"Ah, that makes sense, with the Ri..."

He signed both books, and drew me some lovely little doodles. ("I drew a cracked heart for you.")

(I don't have a good enough memory to remember this so clearly by the way, but I blogged about it immediately when I left the shop, and I've been able to refer back to it)

What a lovely man, I thought.

A few months later, I went to a Terry Pratchett book signing during his tour for Making Money. Again in Forbidden Planet, there was a two book limit, and as I'd already promised a friend in the USA a signed copy of Making Money, that meant I had one book for myself. Then I remembered Good Omens, and kicked myself for not thinking of bringing it to the Gaiman tour a few months before. Oh well, I thought, there's always next time.

The first thing I saw of Terry was his hat. Then I noticed his laugh, which was very infectious. He signed Making Money, dedicated to my friend, and then he spied my copy of Good Omens. "Ah, this old thing." He grinned and signed away. I saw the dedication and laughed, and stepped away, feeling like he knew something I didn't.

That's that, I thought, I'll wait for another Gaiman signing.

I had to wait a little while, as it turns out, until his signing for The Ocean at the End of the Lane in Ely cathedral in 2013. This time, I wasn't so lucky. My friend and I drove from London to Cambridge, and there was an accident on the way. By the time we got there, there were hundreds upon hundreds of people in front of us.

This signing also included a talk, and Gaiman spoke about his childhood, his experiences as an author and answered lots of questions. He also read a passage of his book, Fortunately, the Milk, and the audience were in hysterics. Seriously, no matter how old you are, you'll love that book.

We queued up to sign in the order we arrived, and we queued for a long time. The girl standing in front of my friend and I was obviously very excited, and she struck up conversation with us. She told us she was heavily dyslexic, but she'd read every single Neil Gaiman book. She enjoyed his work so much, that even though reading was difficult for her, she devoured his books and they made her love to read.

When it came to our turn, Neil had been signing for hours, it was late. He must have been tired. But he was still genial and pleasant to the people in front of us. The girl in front of us stepped up, and she was so overwhelmed, she couldn't speak properly as he signed her books. She was almost panicking, but she still managed to tell him about her dyslexia and despite it, her love of his books. Neil put down his pen, and spoke softly, kindly. "Would you like a hug?" She nodded, and laughed and cried and hugged him so tightly.

When it came to my turn, I said he was very kind, and he smiled. He quickly signed my copy of The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and then spied the next book I'd set on the table, open to the page where Terry had signed. His smile widened. "Ah," he said, dipping his pen in his ink, "I almost never get to finish this joke any more, as Terry no longer does signings."

He drew an asterisk next to where Terry had signed, drew an arrow to the bottom, and then finished the joke.

The OCCUPIED stall next to me.